Self Medication

[Deams]

Hi guys. This is my first time here. I'm middle aged and had depression throughout my life. Somehow I've raised two beautiful young adults and we have an amazing relationship. However, the constant self doubt and hatred is always present. I have always sought comfort in alcohol and am thoroughly sick and tired of and hate it. And yet I keep drinking every night. The anxiety and loneliness is exhausting so I drink to alleviate. Does anyone have any tips for getting through the 'arsenic hour'? Thanks

[Croix]

Dear Deams~

Welcome here to the Forum, where there are many would have to deal with depression, anxiety and loneliness, and I guess many too who use alcohol as a means of trying to feel better.

I guess if you are sick of the situation that is a pretty good start, many do not realize it is a problem. Can I ask if you are under treatment for the depression and anxiety? I found I simply did not improve without it. Actually it is not just that 'arsenic hour' it is the whole condition that needs attention, that time of day is partly so hard to deal with because of the underlying illness and resulting lack of ability to cope.

Alcohol has its own set of problems as you would know and most people do find that specialized help makes getting it under control easier - do you have a preference?

Apart from medical support I've found trying to set out the day so there is something to look forward to can help. I use books, movies and other things that keep my mind away from daily hassles. What sort of things have you enjoyed in the past?

Loneliness is horrible, and having kids grow up and lead their own lives is great, however it does leave a huge hole. What do you think you might be able to do to fill it?

Croix

[geoff]

Hello Deams, welcome and can I just say you have raised two beautiful girls because that's how you are, unfortunately now that these girls are adults, it's left a hole in your personality that can't be filled with any enjoyment.

Depression happens when you're lonely so many people use alcohol to fill that spot, I used it when depressed but it destroyed my marriage, which certainly didn't want to happen.

What is the drinking hour and when does it start, earlier and earlier each day because it's there and no one else is around to say no, but does that matter if someone does say no, no not really because you've got it hidden away so no one can see you drink.

Don't forget that your willpower gets weaker at wine o’clock so you need to get away from your usual routine, entertain your mind with something else, take the clock down, go for a long walk, fill your tummy up with a fizzy drink and have something to eat.

Try and have your dinner cooked in the morning so you can put it in the oven or microwave, if you decide to cook later on, then that's the temptation to drink.

Will get back to you as I have to go.

Geoff.

[Deams]

Thanks Geoff. Yeah I already know all those 'strategies'. But when noone is there and noone gives a rats then... who gives a rats! Going to give it a damn good cracking go though. Need to recondition what I do in the evenings. Gonna be hard. Thanks for the support.