I think I might have an eating disorder????

Newbie25 · ‎18-06-2020

I don't know how to explain this.

For the past few years I've felt bad about my body despite being a healthy weight. I know that I am healthy, but I still want to lose weight for some reason.

In the past I've tried to exercise more and eat more healthy, and this year I've actually continued to go through with this. I told myself and my family that it was just me trying to be healthy, but people are starting to tell me I've lost weight and I feel that I am starting to get more and more out of control. I'm definitely a perfectionist which is why I don't feel like I can tell anyone I know how I'm feeling. I feel that they will just judge me.

There's a part of me that knows that I am healthy and that it's healthy to eat better and exercise more, but then I also feel that this is how many eating disorders start. I'm starting to feel guilty when I don't go for a run everyday and when I have dessert or a treat that isn't super healthy. My weight has always been quite constant no matter my lifestyle so I feel that I'm not going to suddenly loose too much weight to really be unhealthy.

I guess I'm just starting to get more worried as I missed my period for the first time in 5 years last month. I've got it back and I don't know if this is a normal thing to happen, but it's certainly not normal to me.

My school is really great, and there are definitely school counselors I can talk to about this, but I'm just scared that talking to someone means admitting that I might have a problem. I don't think it's really that serious at the moment but I'm really scared that I won't know where/how to stop. I don't want to make a big deal out of nothing though.

I don't know what to do.

Sophie_M · ‎18-06-2020

Hi Newbie25,

We're sorry to hear that you're feeling so concerned with your diet and exercise. We can hear that you're feeling a bit scared, so please know that you're not alone in this. We are all here to support you. Please know that this is a safe, non-judgemental space.

You are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and webchat counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. It might be a good way of talking about it with someone in a way that isn't face-to-face which might feel a bit confronting for you at the moment.

If you have missed a period and you're feeling worried about that, it's always a good idea to make a quick trip to the GP or even just have a chat with the school nurse to talk about different reasons why that might be. Hopefully that will ease fears you might be having. Chatting with the school nurse about what a healthy diet looks like is also a good way to start a conversation without feeling like you're raising the alarm. It will also give you some great health tips.

We hope that you keep checking back in and let us know how you are going when you feel up to it. We're all here for you.

romantic_thi3f · ‎19-06-2020

Hi Newbie25,

Thank you so much for your post and for reaching out. I'm really glad that you are being so proactive about your mental health and sharing what's been happening for you.

I notice in your post you said that 'talking to someone means admitting that I might have a problem' - what is it like for you to bring all of this up here? Does it still bring up some of those feelings?

I actually think that you should be really proud of yourself for noticing these behaviours in yourself and saying 'hey, something's not quite right here'. Often with eating disorders, it can often take quite a bit of time until someone raises a red flag, so it's almost a great opportunity to jump in early. In my mind the diagnosis doesn't really matter as much as how you feel about yourself - and sometimes intervening and tackling things early can help prevent behaviours turning into a disorder. Does that make sense?

I wonder if it might help to talk more about what it might be like to bring this up with a counsellor. I think maybe it might be very similar to bringing it up here.

Always here to help. I hope you can find lots of support in the forums here 🙂

rt

Newbie25 · ‎19-06-2020

It's different here because no one knows who I am. There is no pressure or expectations. I'm well known at my school for being a high-achiever as I'm on the student council, in sports teams and get good grades etc. Because of this, I feel that there is a part of me that doesn't want to seem weak if that makes sense?

romantic_thi3f · ‎23-06-2020

Hi Newbie25,

Yes of course that makes sense!

If you did decide to talk to the school counsellor, that wouldn't take away any of the pressure or expectations really - you'd still be very much a high achiever, still getting good grades. The only difference would be that you'd have someone in your corner who can offer some support.

It's also confidential too so it's really just between you and the counsellor.

Does this sound alright to you? What do you think is the next best step?

rt

SarahZ · ‎23-06-2020

Hello Newbie25,

Thanks for reaching out. I'm sorry you are experiencing challenges regarding your weight, dieting, and expectations. I can definitely relate with feeling the need to lose weight even when my weight was in the healthy range. Weight is always a sensitive and difficult issue to deal with, especially with media and culture's fascination over body weight, beauty standards, ideals etc. It's definitely challenging to both recognise and deal with weight-related issues, so you should feel exceptionally proud that you took the initiative to write this post.

I do feel like it will be beneficial seeking professional support to get some advice. A quick visit to the GP may help ease any anxieties about missing your period. A few years back I remember skipping a few periods and after visiting the GP I was informed that it was due to a change in my diet, and that I was eating a bit too little. So I definitely think just getting some professional advice will be really helpful.

Wishing you all the best.

Here if you ever need to talk 🙂

Sophie_M · ‎16-05-2021

Hey London808, we're sorry to hear that you are struggling so much at the moment and you are feeling overwhelmed by what is happening. Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, and advice. It's great that you have the support of your psych. You can also contact the organisation called the Butterfly Foundation which offers support for eating disorders and body image issues. We'd recommend you check out their website - https://butterfly.org.au/ and If you feel it may be helpful, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Helpline. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. We hope that you keep reaching out here when you feel up to it.
Kind regards, Modsupport

Guest_4643 · ‎16-05-2021

hello Newbie25, welcome.

i'm sorry to hear this. i would recommend going to a GP and discussing your feelings and symptoms, and they should be able to diagnose you. it can be scary getting a diagnosis but at least you can have some answers and hopefully some treatment.

we're here for you. best of luck.