Forgiveness

[meaghanperris]

Forgiveness is not about condoning another’s hurtful actions, it is about releasing your negative emotions and perceptions about the painful events. Otherwise you keep yourself chained to those events or people - you keep it alive within you - and you carry it with you where-ever you go. It is a very heavy burden to carry around and you end up crippling yourself emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.

Holding on to anger, resentment, etc. keeps you in ‘victim’ mode - powerless. It means you are letting those people who have hurt you in the past dictate who you are in the present moment. You can take your power back by releasing these negative emotions and no longer let them hold sway over your thoughts, feelings and actions.

Only you are responsible for what you do, think and feel. You can choose to hold on to painful events, like a weight around your neck, or you can choose to remove that burden by releasing it (giving it no more emotional energy and therefore power) and living a happier life despite past circumstances. In other words… let the past be in the past, and live in the now moment. You can’t change what happened in the past, but you have choice over how you live now.

[SOD]

  HI meaghanperris, i understand and fully agree with what your saying but for myself trying to implement the above over the last 5 years , chronic pain caused by other peoples negligence , at its peak makes is nearly impossible to move forward . it seems a massive vicious circle i'm in.  I know what i have written is brief, and i don't know if it makes sense ,  communicating with the world has been a problem all my life,  i'm hoping this site , with what I've been reading since i joined yesterday , will assist me to find strategies to help. This is my first time i've been on any forum , and i am unsure if i'm doing this to rules, so please ,if i'm not , i hope for direction. This little writing , for me is massively draining, so i will end here. Chow.

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear meaghanperris,

Forgiveness is about forgiveness.    When you start justifying such a humane aspect you are guilty of rationalisation.   It might be a bit to naive to state "you have choice over how you live" in relation to worlds events, wars, a partner who has an affair which leads to divorce, gamblings debts, addictions and life in general.

The "burden" of a bad event can also be the positive motivation of another part of your life.    I would rather value my spontaneity and imagination than be a control freak.  Sorry, but your post (and the "Virginity" or "First Kiss" posts you have in another section - Youth) seem a bit preachy.    Acceptance is individual.

Adios, David.

PS Dear Chow, Welcome to the site.    What you wrote made good sense to me and this site has another 6,000 posts for you to enjoy !  The Rules of interaction for BB are listed at the top of each section if you want to check this kind of thing.  Hope that helps.  Basically no personal info / threats / banana cake.  Lol.

[SOD]

   Hi David , I thank you mate.Cheers , SOD.