Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

[Sophie_M]

We recognise that many of us here in the community are feeling scared, worried and overwhelmed about Coronavirus (COVID19). 

As a result, we created this thread to allow people to come together here during those difficult times and encouraged those wanting to share or seek support to do so here in this space. 
 
It was important with this thread that we maintained perspective and supported each other as best as we could, medical, scientific and public health experts around the world have and still are working hard to contain the virus and treat those affected. 
 
The Beyond Blue Support Service is available via phone 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via beyondblue.org.au/get-support for online chat. 
 
There are some other helpful discussions taking place here within our forum community that you may find helpful to read or participate in: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/hi-there-i-only-just-joined-and... 

This thread is now closed for further posting. Users are still able to read through and find support through already existing posts.  

[meforcats]

Hi Moonstruck thank you. I hope she doesn't change her mind. I'm supposed to be staying with my daughter and family. I go up there every Christmas. And it's a hot time to be going up. 🙄

[s82]

Today I returned to my admin role on-site for the first time in three months, was great to be back into it, even putting on a different set of clothes and enjoying being out of the house. Travelling on public transport did not upset me, as the buses were very clean and you could smell that they have been sanitised etc. Even managed a nice McCafe coffee with a bonus hash brown.

My office is fully Covid safe, spaced out separate work teams, rotating AM/PM shifts,staggered start/finish times,QR codes,no tearooms(the Maccas nearby does very well with coffee sales with our group), all meal breaks and meetings outside, off peak travel encouraged etc.

But I have been anxious as well today, having the thought that any place I visit could land me in isolation for 7 days(I am fully vaxxed), I decided not go near any retail on the way home, as I felt too risky, I don't need anything urgently apart from a new pair of shoes and a couple of new shirts, which I will duck in and get when I am ready(Click and collect I want to avoid as I want to physically see before buying).

My Mum has heart issues, diabetes and I really am worried about making her sick and upsetting her plans, my parents have been hit a little hard mentally with lockdown, Dad was grumpy and a bit depressed for most of the lockdown. Conversations were hard as there was nothing much to talk about.

I am an only child with a very small family unit (parents) and a small group of trusted friends, most of which I have known since childhood,I will socialise with them, as they are sensible and fully vaxxed but no one else at the moment. No big groups or anyone who I don't see regularly. In no hurry at all, would like to use my downtime to unwind.I was a grump last week as my return to work date got locked in and I just wanted to be back sooner, so still was stuck at home apart from a coffee over the road.

I do enjoy casual contact, ie people waiting at bus stop with me, walking past in street, some bus drivers and even the more senior Maccas girls, the one who served me today was glad to see me again for my regular coffee, and was patient when I had had trouble getting the MyMaccas app to work again. Saw an old classmate on the bus on the way home and a nice little chat, wishing we could have our 1990's lives back again.

[Added]

Hi s82, it sounds as if your day went well and that you have plans in place to ensure you feel safe getting back into life.

Thanks for writing your post and sharing how you are doing things. I find it very helpful to read how others approach things.

[s82]

It helped that I had a couple of spare pairs of shoes stored away(bought them last year on special), so when one pair wore out, I pressed one of the spare pairs into service and broke them in last week, just have to replace the spare pair, also got some new shirts just before lockdown started which I squirreled away, and wore the older ones in lockdown, then when I was getting my good stuff out for work, I banished the older garments to the death section of the wardrobe(one step before the bin).

I may need time to come out of my shell, especially in my downtime. Being an only child means I am quite good on my own, or just with my small immediate unit of family and trusted friends. Always been like that.

[mmMekitty]

Hello s82, & welcome to the forum.

sounds like you've made the best of this situation we are all in. You sound positive & thoughtful & well organised. & your work is doing their best by their workers.

Things are a little strained at home? Your Mum's physical health issues are a concern to you, & your Dad's mental health has suffered. You are doing all you are able to keep yourself healthy, which helps to keep your family healthy as it can be. If your parents are also fully vaccinated then you all have a much better chance of not becoming infected, & if so, not becoming severely ill. This is the best we can do.

As for your Dad, I wonder, is there anything you two do together?

When I was young, following a flood, my father had difficulties. It wasn't explained to us kids at the time, but I think he was depressed & feeling 'ruined' & unable to talk about it. Men didn't talk, then, (long ago, before you were born, I suspect), but he did want to reach out, somehow. He played chess, & insisted I play a game with him. I didn't enjoy it, was a poor chess player, (still am), while he was pretty good. That wasn't the point, though. We didn't talk while playing. I didn't know what to say,& he probably didn't or couldn't either. But we shared a game & I think that helped him to feel he was still my father after losing so much in the flood.

I didn't realise what it meant to him, then. But now, thinking, as I write to you, doing something with your own Dad could help a lot.

I have noticed how many people are at least a little anxious about what level of risk they will take when going out &about again. It sounds like you are weighing up the risk as well. That sounds to me to be a sensible approach. So, I want to commend you for that.

If the level of your anxiety is such that you can't make a decision or you are avoiding everything, or can't sleep, or has you constantly worried, then perhaps it it time to talk to someone.

If you like, you could always call BB's own counselling service on 1300 22 46 36, or any of their other services on these pages. Or your GP could also advise you about who you could talk to. As well as us, who are a mixed bag, to say the least! 😺 I'm no professional, myself , just getting old & have had some experiences.

Happy to talk some more.

mmMekitty

[s82]

Thank you mmMekitty for your post.

Yes, things are strained at home, not badly though. A bit tired after yesterday.

I think it might be my parents are a bit the"sticks and stones" type. They find mental health is a lot of nonsense, for which I don't agree, I feel very sorry for people who have struggled the past two years, but I try to agree to disagree as not to cause friction.

My father and I don't have a great deal in common as far as interests, he is a very hands on type, I am not very good with my hands, when I have helped out(or tried to) with some hands on task it always ends in anger and tears. We both have short fuse which does not help. I suggest bringing in people more hands on to help with things, but that gets him upset. We do however watch DVD's together, but not much traditional father/son type things.

Dad had a rather serious depression episode after a workplace issue six years ago which led to his retirement, we had some serious issues with anger back then, but we have come a little closer since his retirement.

I have traditionally had a closer relationship with my mother, she is more understanding of my weaknesses and is easier to navigate. She has disabilities which means she requires assistance which Dad and I share, a major reason I have stayed in the family home. I have been a part time carer all my life.

Growing up, I had responsibilities the other kids did not have, which made it very hard to form friendships, and caused bullying but had a small group who were respectful, some of whom I remain friends with, or at least still get on with when I see them, to this day.

Sorry about the long post, just addressing the above things, I will return to update on my post lockdown recovery soon, as not to hog the thread.

[mmMekitty]

Hi s82,

Your family is very different to mine, but the one thing we have in common is that my Father had distained mental illness & psychological therapies. He was unable to face & deal with such in my family, his own difficulties & those of others too. Both my (ex)step-mother & he had their own friends, & I suppose they shared friendships with some of those people. It was very rare that I heard openly serious convertations amongst any of them. Somethimes things would get heated, fights might break out. Mostly, I think it was just that they had these people regularly in their lives that gave them a sense of something a little like having an extended family.

It makes me wonder if your Father has friends he might just hang around with, in a casual and relaxed way? All I knw is my Father did relax (drinking too, mind you), outdoors, with some friends, food, music & chat. Or the tv with some sport on.

DVD's sounds good enough to me. Though I would not be advocating a lot of alcohol, more like one or two beers, chips, or other munchies. Or the dreadful sugary brown soft drink. We had pop corn. Maybe your Dad would talk about the DVD, or if it is sport, that's all it needs to be.

I'm not suggesting diving into trying to get him to open up about things he is not going to talk about.

to avoid monopolising this thread, what about beginning a new thread of your own to ask for more ideas to help you to help your Dad, perhaps under the forum:

Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers)

Which is “Space for sharing tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing with other carers.”
There may be some help to be found there already.

mmMekitty

[Quercus]

Hi all and hoping you're all coping as well as you can.

Just wondering if anyone else from WA has been joining in on this thread? I'd love to hear what you think of the proposed order for all education staff to prove they are immunised by January? It's not law yet but I suspect it will be soon enough.

Is anyone else having trouble with the prospect of either losing your job or being forced to have the vax?

My husband's work has already brought in nurses on shift to give staff injections when they come in.

It all feels very threatening.

I am on immune suppressants and am considered high risk but as far as I'm concerned it's my choice.

I'm angry that to go to work where I work alone and with cleaning chemicals I have to have this but people can still refuse to be immunised for measles, rubella, TB etc and still come to work.

Worse you have to sign a form saying you are having the jab by your own choice and won't hold anyone responsible. What choice is it... Get the Vax or lose your job. What free will?!?

[Guest_1055]

I hear you loud and clear Nat. I don't live in WA, I am in NSW

[Guest_1055]

I can slowly feel myself dissappearing into myself. Hiding away. What is happening to many many people is so very sad. So much fear, so much confusion. The whole world feels like a awful hellish movie. I am trying to focus on whatever is lovely, whatever is true, whatever is praiseworthy think upon these things.