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Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator

We recognise that many of us here in the community are feeling scared, worried and overwhelmed about the Coronavirus (COVID19) outbreak.

Just as we have come together here during other difficult times, we encourage those wanting to share or seek helpful support to do so here in this space.

What are you doing to look after your wellbeing during this time? Sharing is one of the most helpful ways we can support one other – our community is also here to support you if you’d simply like to share how you’re feeling.

It is important we maintain perspective and support each other as best as we can, everyone here at Beyond Blue would like to remind our community that medical, scientific and public health experts around the world are working hard to contain the virus, treat those affected and develop a vaccine as quickly as possible.

The Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Service is available 24/7 at coronavirus.beyondblue.org.au. There is a dedicated phone line, staffed by mental health professionals briefed on the pandemic response, that is also is now open on 1800 512 348.

Beyond Blue’s existing support service will continue to operate alongside the new service. The Beyond Blue Support Service is available via phone 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via beyondblue.org.au/get-support for online chat (3PM – 12AM AEST or email responses within 24 hours).

There are some other helpful discussions taking place here within our forum community that you may find helpful to read or participate in: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/hi-there-i-only-just-joined-and...

As a community, let’s help one another through sharing and connecting and showing our support.

3,205 Replies 3,205

Deejjay
Community Member
Wondering if others are finding COVID-19 has made it more difficult to keep up friendships either over balancing different approaches and concerns re returning to face to face contact and opening and how to balance these when needs within a friendship group differs so much that there is no common ground. Examples include some wishing to remain on zoom whilst others can't do zoom, some happy to attend a ventilated area of a restaurant vs only doing outdoor picnics which is problematic with bad weather.

Deejjay
Community Member

Wondering if anyone has found COVID has impacted friendships. The other day a friendship circle fell apart due to someone not wanting to meet face to face with another group member due to one feeling a possible COVID exposure the other felt it wasn't/no risk. We hadn't seen each other face to face during lockdown and it was the first planned face to face catch up which didn't end up happening due to this. Complicated. Both pulled out of the F2F event, one being cautious, other felt untrusted. I've viewed by the untrusted as wrong for taking a neutral approach i.e. recognise both had their points & not taking sides. I'd had feelings about most not suggesting a catch up with me when allowed outdoor gatherings to 5 people despite my saying I'd be interested in catching up if doing something.

Talked it through with other friends who said best get out there/make other friends. Makes sense. I don't make friends easily & went through a hard time a while ago to build friendship given a lot of "I'm too busy", feeling I was doing most of the work to establish/keep the friendship going (doing all the travel, take time off work, travelling long distances to those who didn't reciprocate and don't want to fall into this again) Thus I've targeted local ongoing activities with continued contact with the same people to let it develop naturally & I feel more confident of a yes before initiating say a one on one catch up. I'm getting older so the telling myself "one has to accept will get no's/too busy, I just need to persist and it will happen it just takes time" that the time part is more critical and I may not have "time" to wait for it to "happen".

But what really knocked me just this morning was reaching out to the one in the group mentioned in the top paragraph (who doesn't see me as the baddie) suggesting we catch up to be advised they were "too busy". I'd mentioned during conversation a couple of weeks back how hard lockdown had been for me without family and few locals to catch up with and wished people had suggested it as I was reluctant to suggest given people seem so busy. I usually don't say things like that as I don't want to appear "needy".

I've also noticed that some have found being in isolation liberating and they have pruned their friendship circles as a result and thus not looking to admit new friendship into their lives. I really want to avoid putting effort into trying to establish friendship with those individuals.

Really not sure what the answer is!!

Hi Deejay

Yes. It has divided friendships, families, with me at times keeping my mouth shut about my views...some opinions are poles apart. Here in Qld, at least Queen Anna has announced dates for opening borders...but strongly recommending non vaccinated be kept apart from the vaccinated.

Then you have friends of mine who actively seem to detest those who are not yet vacced; accusing them of "doing the wrong thing" ; terrified of the big bad Delta "coming to get us" which actually are the very words used by our CHO...soon to be Qld Governor. she said "every single person in Qld will contract Covid...every single one of us"...great stuff hey?

someone I know is double dosed....we have had zero cases in our region of Qld since Day One....and zero in Qld for ages.....she found herself with a little cough...so rushed to get "tested". I cannot, just cannot understand why. why was she frightened....she had been double vacced and had a cough...so what? If people are going to rush in to get tested even after getting double vacced.....what's the point of the vaccination then?

I heard a phrase that resonated with me..."it is not the job of the non vaccinated to keep the vaccinated safe...that is the vaccine's job"

P.S ......yes I am fully vacced.

Guest_1643
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi deejay,

I ended a friendship with someone becausei feel that covid showed true colours, they were extremely insensitive to the mh impact of covid, and didn't seem able to be a friend or even consider or share the experience of lockdowns....she spent the first year saying how unfair it was she couldn't go see a movie.

I rearranged my friendships, but I'm still open to new friends, although I'm more discerning, be ause I feel like I'd rather have few good than many bad friends.

it made my friendships deeper, and more real, but I have only made one or two new friends during lockdown. I guess I'm one of the pruners, maybe.

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello DeeJJay & all,

I didn't have the friendships I thought I had, I discovered last year. Not for the first time, either, when I thought I had made a friend only to realise they didn't feel the same. I Think the restrictions did make a difference to how we were used to making our connections, and some didn't adjust very well. I know, I couldn't adjust to Zoom, & don't want online social media friends either. I want real people in my world. I want people I can talk to in person, sometimes on the phone, sometimes via email, but last year, the people I knew simply didn't do that. It was as if the relationships we, as a group. who met monthly, simply dropped each other when we could not meet face to face in a room. I tried to hold us together, but I wasn't enough, I suppose. It was tough to realise how superficial these 'friendships' had been,

& they said,'busy' and were concentrating on other things. Those once a month meetings took more time from the day, travelling to & from, the meeting itself, than would writing at home, sending emailing to everyone, reading their emailed work and responses. I didn't understand.

Even around where I live, I am less likely to encounter other neighbours when I go out, & I am not going out as much myself.

I currently have no way to meet & get to know new people, who might become friends. I rely far too much upon the few people I am in contact with, & they are, as defined by the work relationship I have with them, NOT friends. One worker, I am more friendly with, but I am mindful of that all the time. It is a worry, which I will have to sort one day. But not today.

I expect, as more people become comfortable getting out and mixing again, socialising will become easier again.

For those of us who find socialising difficult, the easing of restrictions won't make much difference. If we had problems socialising before COVID-19, & if we could not deal with them during the last 18 months, then those problems will still be with us after.

Indeed, COVID-19 & restrictions, & fears & uncertainty may compound those difficulties we face. It may take us longer to move forward & out again.

mmMekitty

Guest_342
Community Member
Hello. I'm struggling to not feel resentful towards those who choose not to get vaccinated - and it doesn't help that our rules in Vic are very much focused on granting freedoms only to those who are vaccinated. I've seen the numbers in our hospitals and the stats on the proportion that are vaccinated and my mind automatically goes to thoughts like, those spots could be free for people needing elective surgery who are in pain or discomfort and have had to have surgeries postponed if only those individuals had got a vaccine. My frustration increased this week when my employer advised us that they are not empowered to mandate vaccines, despite the fact that we are in an office ~8 hrs a day. We fall into a bit of a gap with the vaccine mandate. I worry about being exposed to potentially unknown colleagues who are not vaccinated and then taking it back to my niece who is only 12 months old. How do I deal with these feelings?

blondguy
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Guest_342

I understand the frustration you are going through....My mum is 91 her main carer is my sister who wont let mum get vaccinated as 'God will protect mum and my herself from Covid'

Ive been answering new posts on the forums since early 2016 yet this dysfunctional mentality from an anti vaxxer in the family is awful to experience

I think there is only so much we can do at this time....

please be kind to yourself during this difficult period

my kind thoughts always

Paul

Thank you so much, Paul.

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Paul,

If your Mum can understand & give her consent, & your sister does not have Power of Attorney to make medical decisions on her behalf, then your sister cannot prevent Mum from getting vaccinated.

mmMekitty

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Paul,

Fair enough, one has the right to make decisions based on their own religious beliefs, for themselves. But I don't think it is reasonable to impose one's religious based decisions upon another, even if they have Power of Attorney. I think that would be an abuse of the Power of Attorney.

mmMekitty