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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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ScarlettR Do you play video games as a sort of therapy?
  • replies: 2

I had redeveloped my childhood hobby of playing games again. I often play games on my iPad or on my PS3 console. This may sound obvious, but I believe playing video games has a long-term calming and positive effect on people suffering from mental ill... View more

I had redeveloped my childhood hobby of playing games again. I often play games on my iPad or on my PS3 console. This may sound obvious, but I believe playing video games has a long-term calming and positive effect on people suffering from mental illness. For instance, I play Batman Arkham City, and has made my goal to complete the game. While I play the game, I'm not only focusing on the character and getting him complete levels, but also observing the setting and soundtrack and special effects. I don't spent too long playing the video game - maybe 30-45 minutes then I save and switch off and relax. It helps me look at the past year in a rose-tinted way that is actually healthy and positive. In fact, I look at my past few years in a rose-tinted way so that way I can just remember the few main events, and not think about the times I was so depressed and anxious, I wouldn't leave the bed. In fact, I've made a decision that memories of my depressive days are of no use or relevance to me, and I will only focus on the few events that was good. Playing video games and the associated experience is one of them.

DMA27 Living in the past and overthinking/worrying about life now and the future
  • replies: 1

I feel silly even stating this as an issue as i know people have far worse situations happening in their lives. In 2014 my boyfriend of 4 years and i split (over a stupid unexpected argument), mid 2015 my grandmother who raised me & was the closest p... View more

I feel silly even stating this as an issue as i know people have far worse situations happening in their lives. In 2014 my boyfriend of 4 years and i split (over a stupid unexpected argument), mid 2015 my grandmother who raised me & was the closest person to me passed away & i started my first full time job in the field of which i studied. Since all of this happened 4 yrs ago, I feel like i have not been myself. I thought i had life all worked out - planned to spend the rest of my life with that bf & i didnt expect to feel this way when my grandmother was gone. Since 2014, my ex and i have gone back & forth to each other because i think deep down there is still a strong love and bond although things just dont seem to work and I, as is he - am having difficulties letting this go. In the midst of the 4 yrs since we've split, we have both spoken to other people. The guy i have spoken to is the complete opposite of my ex - kind hearted, gentle mature, serious (amazing) however, has little time for a relationship due to work & other commitments. I feel too scared to to date him for fear of the unknown future, regret and whether its the right thing todo or not. I have not been myself since all of this has happened & i dont know why. I struggle to make decisions, I have difficulty falling asleep sometimes, have poor concentration & focus, i keep busy to avoid overthinking, i dont give my all to my friends, family, work & relationships the way i use to & i overall just feel like time is flying by, life is moving extremely fast & i am just stuck in i dont know what. My friends are getting married, having babies etc - whilst i did have all of this planned also, things have not gone to plan (which i know is part of life). I have have been told by many people that i overthink and i know i do but i cant help it, even if its regarding the future and something that hasnt even occurred yet. I am unsure of what life path to take and what its current purpose is (i am wasting time not knowing what to do). I think about this all the time and it constantly feels like i have a weight on my shoulders. I know my friends are sick of me saying i cant believe how old we are, where have the past 4 years gone?, should i do this?, should i do that? I feel like i just go to work and come home but thats all thats really happening. The rest of the time its me trying to fill in time!! I just want to feel like i am living in the moment again & know what im doing and exactly what i want.

MiguelS New poster struggling with life and self-worth
  • replies: 5

Hi all, New poster, 30 year old male...thought I'd join these forums as part of my process to tackle my long term issues with anxiety and depression which I've left unaddressed for quite sometime, recently turned 30 and the last 2-3 years things are ... View more

Hi all, New poster, 30 year old male...thought I'd join these forums as part of my process to tackle my long term issues with anxiety and depression which I've left unaddressed for quite sometime, recently turned 30 and the last 2-3 years things are gradually becoming worse, I think my depression over the past 2-3 days has hit an all time low. As of today, I don't even know if I can talk to friends, family or even go to work...I can't sleep, loss of appetite, low sex drive, drug and alcohol addiction, brain fog the works and feel incredibly lonely. Struggle with confidence in myself which has forced me to live as a single man all my life, even though I would consider myself attractive and do well financially. The thing is, people do like me but I do struggle to make real friends and relationships. Just the other day I had a date, first in a few years, things went well over a few drinks, things led to the bedroom needless to say I was left completely embarrassed and now she's completely lost interest, it's been the nail in the coffin the last two days may have been the most difficult in my life. My workload for next week is incredibly intense and I'm not in a position where I can take time off, I don't know what to do anymore....today I went to pay a visit to my folks thinking spending time with family would do me some good but I hardly felt like talking, on the way home I started tearing up. I'm making steps in trying to tackle it, I've had my first session with a psychologist which I'm hoping to do once a week..I've seen a few in the past but didn't get much from it although I feel this one is a winner. I haven't exercised in a good 6 months or so so today I joined a new gym in hopes a new atmosphere might encourage me to work out more. Trying to clean up my diet/lifestyle and minimize drug/alcohol intake, being sober is very difficult but having enough confidence to go without it is my ultimate goal. The thought of being in this same position in 15-20 years terrifies me, I'm not sure I could go on much longer if I kept this lifestyle up. Hopefully I didn't break any rules, I just wanted to get my thoughts and feelings out there, so thanks for reading.

Wizard1 Mental Illness and non-believers. How to deal?
  • replies: 5

I mostly write this for the benefit of other as well as myself. My sister committed suicide nearly three years ago. I was once taking to a work colleague (who knew about my sister's suicide) about the topic of mental illness. Her response to me was "... View more

I mostly write this for the benefit of other as well as myself. My sister committed suicide nearly three years ago. I was once taking to a work colleague (who knew about my sister's suicide) about the topic of mental illness. Her response to me was "this is such a first world problem" meaning only people in the first world would have the time and luxury to develop such problems in theirs head. My response was, "no it is not, you hear about it in the first world because we have resources to deal with it. These problems exist everywhere and most probably exists more so the third world". Although my response was measured and controlled, internally I was fuming and felt terribly insulted by this. So how would you response to non-believers, the ones who think we should "just get over it"? In other words, how do we educate those who are naive?

Notanurse What friends?
  • replies: 1

I really have the question: "do you have any support around you? Family? Friends?" Because my answers always "What family? What friends?" I grew up knowing my mother, my half sister, my brother, my nana, my Nan and my pop. All on my mum's side. I bar... View more

I really have the question: "do you have any support around you? Family? Friends?" Because my answers always "What family? What friends?" I grew up knowing my mother, my half sister, my brother, my nana, my Nan and my pop. All on my mum's side. I barely know my father, I only remember seeing him maybe a handful of times. And my father's parents are just names. It's sad because for as long as I can remember, I've always wanted a huge family. Uncle's, aunts, cousins, grandparents, extended family. I wanted to have 4 kids so one day I'll be this little old lady surrounded by a large family of my own making(I can dream!). There's nothing I can do to change my family though. Except for the part where I have 4 kids and hopefully be that happily little old lady surrounded by her huge family. As for friends though.. I had many friends in primary school, I counted everyone as a friends, I got along with pretty much everyone. High school came around and my close circle from primary school started breaking up, going their own way. But I was sitting there wanting it to be us still because they were my everything. Rumours started that one hated the other but they were friends on the outside. I ended up having enough of the lies and games so I was the one to befriend them. Gotta love teenage drama. Ever since then though I've found it very difficult to form lasting friendships. That's when I went to uni and met my former best friend. We got along really well, called each other soul sisters, we had the best times together. That was until she couldn't put up with my severe lows. The most recent being about 3 weeks ago, which is now why she's the former best friend. Apart from that, I have one person I talk to regularly at the moment. That person being someone who thinks were going to be in a relationships(I very much do not want a relationship). Other than that I have 3 people who check in from time to time. It's lonely, it's draining, I hate it. I'm human, I need to be social. I really wish there was a tinder for friendships. Put in your interests and find people with the same interests. Would be amazing. So how do you deal with the loneliness? How do you make friends? All I can think is that it MUST get better once I'm employed and working regularly right?

LostCyclist Loosing the ability to live the life I want - Staying positive vs Adjusting expectations
  • replies: 8

10 months ago I cycled into a car at 53km/h. By all intent and purpose the ambo's said I am lucky to be alive. I understand I am a survivor...much like many here, we all are after some point in life. I don't want to just survive though. I was cycling... View more

10 months ago I cycled into a car at 53km/h. By all intent and purpose the ambo's said I am lucky to be alive. I understand I am a survivor...much like many here, we all are after some point in life. I don't want to just survive though. I was cycling upwards of 1000km a week. I love cycling. It is my passion and my escape and everything that keeps the rest of this ordinary world in check. It was my way of socialising, it defined me as a person, and everything else in life was geared toward being able to be on the bike. I have, over the time since the accident slowly degraded to sitting here now not riding at all. I have chronic whiplash. Some days are better than others but even the good days I find myself standing beside my bike looking outside and, whilst feeling nauseous, also feel any motivation to try to ride disappear and with it any happiness. I'm struggling to find reason to life, struggling to continue to hope that things will get better, struggling to put on a good face and not break down and cry. If I'm true to myself this is all I feel like doing. Crying. I've never been good at allowing myself to breakdown though. I've always held these emotions behind a wall of composure. When I reach out to friends, they don't quite understand the loss I feel, the seriousness of it all. I hate where this path is leading. I can't cycle, I'm getting fat from what is both eating to try and feel I have energy and probably also emotionally eating, and feeling trapped in just working and coming home to do nothing. I know everyone's story of recovery is different. Everyone's timeframe individual along with thresholds and the most they will recover. But how do you stay positive in a downward spiral? How do you (or should you) accept how things are now, when you know what they were and what they need to be to be happy? I watched a movie (Me Before You) the other day about a guy that in a nutshell ended his life because he knew that he could never live the life that he knew he needed. Selfish maybe? It was an extreme case with him being a quadriplegic but has me questioning if it was selfish at all. When the injury causes constant pain and when there is no chance to ever be and do what it is that you need. When it feels like a step forward one day and a step, or two, back the next, and what you want to do and be moves further and further away, how do you stay positive? How do you keep going? thanks

ashish1 Struggled with having an appetite my entire life.
  • replies: 2

I've struggled with being underweight my whole life. I have a hard time eating anything and I'm a very slow eater. I've had many people give me looks and make comments because I either eat too slow or dont finish my food. For some reason I'll take li... View more

I've struggled with being underweight my whole life. I have a hard time eating anything and I'm a very slow eater. I've had many people give me looks and make comments because I either eat too slow or dont finish my food. For some reason I'll take like 4 bites out of something and get extremely sick of the food I'm eating. I also cant seem to eat foods that are difficult to chew like a hamburger for example. Not sure if it's because I have a small mouth or something else. Does anyone have any tips on how to force myself to eat without feeling like throwing up? I smoked cannabis consecutively since highschool but I just stopped recently because it made me a lot more anxious. Meds also decrease my appetite and make my body feel extremely sick. I feel hopeless. Please help.

smallwolf Not quite a journal
  • replies: 39

One of the things I write in replies is about maintaining a journal of sorts. It is not quite a journal though because the contents. Each day I start with -three things to look forward to -three positives and positive qualities shown -one pleasure, a... View more

One of the things I write in replies is about maintaining a journal of sorts. It is not quite a journal though because the contents. Each day I start with -three things to look forward to -three positives and positive qualities shown -one pleasure, accomplishment and gratitude The thing about this journal is that the smallest things are valid. For example, brushing teeth, showering, making breakfast, drinking coffee or hot chocolate. Starting off can be hard. But after a while it becomes easier. I still have problems some days. On these days phrases like "the small things" can still have a positive vibe. And this journal does not take long to write either. Over the next days, I will write my real entries here. If you want to add yours here, please do. Something like this practiced each day eventually should rewire our brains to think more positively. Best thing is that it is cheap. All you need is pen and paper and yourself. The fun starts tomorrow.

Fallen_apart How to start again?
  • replies: 33

How do you find some direction and purpose in life after it all crumbles? Had a decent life up till a couple of years ago, mid 30s, job, Mrs, home etc about to get married have kids etc. Kept my anxiety and depression under control for the most part ... View more

How do you find some direction and purpose in life after it all crumbles? Had a decent life up till a couple of years ago, mid 30s, job, Mrs, home etc about to get married have kids etc. Kept my anxiety and depression under control for the most part without a Doctor. Hurt my back, lost my job, career, my grip on my mental health, my fiancé and future and feels like pretty much my entire identity, and it all seemed to escalate with each different class of meds my doctor tried over two years. I am stuck in a cycle of depression and anxiety and a crippling loneliness that prevents me even thinking of anything that I could want/hope/dream/plan/think/do/enjoy. Everything I worked towards was stripped away and I can't even daydream about any sort of future beyond this. Its almost a year on my own and I can't see a way forwards. A lot of people laugh I know I should have it relatively easy- single guy, no kids, still got a house so far, don't drink or do crack. But iv lost my purpose and identity. How do I find that again when I don't even know what it is?

Deams Self Medication
  • replies: 3

Hi guys. This is my first time here. I'm middle aged and had depression throughout my life. Somehow I've raised two beautiful young adults and we have an amazing relationship. However, the constant self doubt and hatred is always present. I have alwa... View more

Hi guys. This is my first time here. I'm middle aged and had depression throughout my life. Somehow I've raised two beautiful young adults and we have an amazing relationship. However, the constant self doubt and hatred is always present. I have always sought comfort in alcohol and am thoroughly sick and tired of and hate it. And yet I keep drinking every night. The anxiety and loneliness is exhausting so I drink to alleviate. Does anyone have any tips for getting through the 'arsenic hour'? Thanks