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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Guest5643 Stop mind racing while falling asleep
  • replies: 1

If anyone has trouble falling asleep try this. For yrs ive used a soft toy dog called a snuggle puppy that has a beating mechanical heart in it. Its actualy made for puppies for there first nights in a home to comfort them while sleeping. Like most p... View more

If anyone has trouble falling asleep try this. For yrs ive used a soft toy dog called a snuggle puppy that has a beating mechanical heart in it. Its actualy made for puppies for there first nights in a home to comfort them while sleeping. Like most people my mind is more active when trying to sleep. This toy is perfect for stopping that. With me the regular constant sound of the beat and the gentle thumping slows my breathing to a relaxed steady pace and it shuts my mind off and fall asleep quite quickly

white knight What "family" is all about when unwell
  • replies: 5

Over several years here I've noticed a common theme with nearly all members posts. They have elements of guilt, sorrow, worthlessness, despair and confusion. I rarely if ever see spite, revenge, nastiness or anger. To me that equates to people despar... View more

Over several years here I've noticed a common theme with nearly all members posts. They have elements of guilt, sorrow, worthlessness, despair and confusion. I rarely if ever see spite, revenge, nastiness or anger. To me that equates to people desparate to find peace in life, are often the one harmed by others, cannot find solutions to their illness and are "lost" mentally feeling very much alone with their challenges. If this is you then you likely are putting other peoples needs above your own. You aren't well, you need care and consideration before you can perform your role to the maximum in your own family. Too often when family members know you have depression others think just taking your medication daily is the extent of what happens but thats ok with headaches, blood pressure and vitamin difficiency. Mental illness needs many extra changes from others and yourself. When unwell it is justified and necessary to turn your focus onto yourself. You, being considerate of others will find this strange but selfishness for a period has its advantages...it results in you recovering and that will enable you to revert back to your family and friends needs. Point out to others that this period of self focus is temporary even though it feels you'll never recover. You will. During your recovery guilty feelings will engulf you especially you incapacity to parent. This guilt needs to be offset by good feelings and it comes by way of expression - expression of kindness and appreciation. In the following thread some of this is covered Beyondblue Topic who cares for the carer? In that thread I make a suggestion that if you are bedridden with depression you can show appreciation in subtle ways. If you can attend the bathroom or get a drink from the fridge, you can make a cup of tea for your partner when they arrive home from work. At least try...endeavor is everything. That's one example of how kindness, the expression of it, doesnt have to disappear while ill. Family member as well need to know changes need to be made in their behavior, duties and expectations until your recovery is complete. Thats what family is all about. TonyWK

gloria10 managing health with full time work
  • replies: 4

Hi, I am looking at some advice on how to manage health problems when working full time. Along with depression and anxiety I have a list of other health problems that get in the way and I find it hard to manage. This means I often take a day off work... View more

Hi, I am looking at some advice on how to manage health problems when working full time. Along with depression and anxiety I have a list of other health problems that get in the way and I find it hard to manage. This means I often take a day off work every couple of weeks because I find everything, including anxiety, overwhelming. I am getting better with taking better care of myself by starting with diet and making sure I have the right energy throughout the day. But I feel so guilty when I need to take this time off. It doesn't help that I'm casual either and it puts my job on the line. I would appreciate advice Gloria10

Soberlicious96 From hopeless to helpful - The story behind my username
  • replies: 2

Recently a lot of people are telling me that I am “awesome” and “amazing” and “such an inspiration” and lots of other positive encouraging things. But let me tell you it wasn’t always like that. About 22 and a half years ago, people were telling me v... View more

Recently a lot of people are telling me that I am “awesome” and “amazing” and “such an inspiration” and lots of other positive encouraging things. But let me tell you it wasn’t always like that. About 22 and a half years ago, people were telling me very different things; like “I’ve had enough of your lies” and “Go away, I’m done with you” and “Get your act together or get out of my life” …. Actually, that last one was the kicker. It came from my sister. She’d sprung me having my ‘morning drink’. I was trying to secretly glug down a bottle of mouthwash, telling myself I was just ‘looking after my dental hygiene’ when really, I had reached the point where I could no longer brush my teeth without gagging. Almost every other person in my life had slammed the door in my face and I had no-one left. I even thought about living in my car and told myself it would be okay because homeless people don’t have a job, and I still had a job. But only just, and not for much longer. It didn’t start out like that though. It started out being so much fun! I was going to parties and going out dancing and seeing bands and going out to dinner and out on dates. But from the age of 15 there was ALWAYS alcohol. And if there wasn’t, then I didn’t want to go. I thought people who didn’t drink were ‘weird’ or ‘boring’ or too scared ….. obviously, I was also quite judgemental. I didn’t grow up in a home with excessive drinking or abuse or anything like that. But I did have some significant traumas happen to me as a child, and saw alcohol as the thing that would ‘fix’ me. Or at least dull the pain. But alcohol is a depressant and sooner or later, when a person drinks to excess, it turns on you and becomes the thing that is ruining everything. And removing everyone from your life. In recovery, we call it ‘The greatest remover on earth’. So anyway, a few days after my sister said “Get your act together or get out of my life” I got help by going to AA. That was December of 1996 and I haven’t had a drink since. And I can tell you that sobriety and recovery has been both the hardest, and most wonderful thing I have ever chosen and/or been coerced into doing. Ever. Moral of the story; if you want to drink, that’s your business. But if the booze is costing you (removing from you/your life) more than just money, then help and hope are only a phone call or a meeting away. Visit www.aa.org.au or call 1300 AA AA AA (1300 22 22 22).

LonelyGirl89 First time for me
  • replies: 16

Hello there, I recently got released from hospital after 7 weeks. I have OCD, anxiety and depression. I am currently on medication but I get worried about relapsing. Does anybody have that same feeling? Anybody else have anxiety, depression or OCD?

Hello there, I recently got released from hospital after 7 weeks. I have OCD, anxiety and depression. I am currently on medication but I get worried about relapsing. Does anybody have that same feeling? Anybody else have anxiety, depression or OCD?

Ohdear I don't remember ne before blue
  • replies: 3

Hey guys im new here, i came looking for somewhere to chat to like minded people because sometimes i feel like the people around me have heard enough or have enough on in their own lives. I do have a psychologist but hes new and i really miss the old... View more

Hey guys im new here, i came looking for somewhere to chat to like minded people because sometimes i feel like the people around me have heard enough or have enough on in their own lives. I do have a psychologist but hes new and i really miss the old one so we will see how that goes. A family member of mine tells me all the time how depressed i am and how ive changed and i try to look back at the person they remember and i wonder how did i get here and how do i get back there. I was 20 the last time i remember being carefree and happy, thats about 7 years ago now... 7 years wasted being anxious and scared feeling like the world will fall from under my feet any second, 7 years hating myself and being insecure about my weight but not sticking to making a change. I just want to wake up and choose to be happy i want to love me for me and embrace life and everything it has to offer, i don't want the running real of negative thoughts and fears in my head any more or the tight anxious feeling in my chest. But i dont want meds either. I tell myself that if i got my weight under control id be more confident and happy and the rest would follow, i place so much importance on appearance but only my own.... Ill accept you however you are, but myself the fact that im overweight over rules any other possible positive quality i possess. These feelings are taking a toll on a lot of the relationships in my life, i can tell my sister has had enough of me. I feel bad for my BF because i was at a good place when we met and ive just back spiralled so far and now he has to deal with all my jealousy and insecurity (damage done and i dont know if i can ever fix it). Then theres work, i wanna be confident and happy and make a difference and be someone people can come to when theyre having a tough time..... But all that seems to come out of my mouth is negativity. The real cake topper is just being exhausted all the time, i have so much trouble believing that this level of tired can come from being overweight and depressed but that is the conclusion drawn by most GP's. So i wanna change, i want to get positive and start looking after myself and living life. So if anyone has pointers on breaking the loop of negative thoughts or activities to rationalise the irrational catastrophic thoughts. Tips on how to get past the feelings of exhaustion. Im definitly not here for pitty, i just want to get better. thank you.

StevoP Either quite ill/going to just really fade away into nothing is going to happen to me
  • replies: 1

Look Ive given it my all, but like if people are just there to continually take a pot shot at you, then like life is just going to get you down at some point. No matter how much that you just ensure yourself and stand up for yourself against this ppl... View more

Look Ive given it my all, but like if people are just there to continually take a pot shot at you, then like life is just going to get you down at some point. No matter how much that you just ensure yourself and stand up for yourself against this ppl, asserting that theyre in the wrong and you're not whatever has been said. Anyway that is incredibly difficult and just tough, as well as awkward and vulnerability becomes a big thing now for me. So yep like just try and be nice and gentle, lol ahahaha can have a laugh about it there though saying that but nah just try and be respectful though about this yep yeah

A2D2 How do you approach a potential employer about a wage subsidy
  • replies: 6

I am applying for positions all over the place and like so many, not getting any reply. I would like to let potential employers know about the wage subsidy they could access if they employ me but I'm not sure how to do this. Has anyone found a tactfu... View more

I am applying for positions all over the place and like so many, not getting any reply. I would like to let potential employers know about the wage subsidy they could access if they employ me but I'm not sure how to do this. Has anyone found a tactful way? Do I mention it in my letter of introduction? Tell the employment agency to ring them? Try to speak to someone in the organisation before applications close? Or just wait until I get hired and then go, "Congratulations, you just won the Lotto! I come with a bonus set of steak knives!" I feel like the wage subsidy would be a good incentive to look more closely at my application, even if my experience is a bit old or maybe there is another candidate with a perfect employment record.

Dorian_Gray Writing as Helpful Hobby
  • replies: 1

Hi All, A little hobby I found really helped me when I was pretty depressed that I thought I would share is writing fiction. How it worked for me was I created characters (only semi intentionally) that reflected different aspects of my personality an... View more

Hi All, A little hobby I found really helped me when I was pretty depressed that I thought I would share is writing fiction. How it worked for me was I created characters (only semi intentionally) that reflected different aspects of my personality and put them in a over dramatized version of situation I had found myself in and just wrote what came naturally. I didn’t set out to create characters in that way it more so just happened as one can only really write from ones own imagination ad experiences anyway. I found it very helpful in just getting thoughts out there and in some ways conversations between characters helped make real some of the circular thoughts I got in my head when feeling depressed/anxious as instead of being mingled together in your head they are separated out into discrete ‘person’s' who speak one after the other, so I was able to focus on each ‘voice’ one at a time while writing. While not all voices are nice in terms of self talk it helped me to remember that not all my self talk was negative only some of it and that voice can be countered my other ones that are still mine. It also provided a way much like other hobbies of getting into a ‘flow’ mental state and often more frequently than other hobbies I have- the reason being is whilst for say a sport you need to be at the place with the equipment etc. to get into that zone, if you’re writing fiction you can come up with ideas/scenarios/conversations at any time in your head (on train, waiting in line or something those quiet moments that can sometimes be hard to sit alone with yourself.). So might not work for everyone but might help someone so I encourage anyone who likes stories and is looking to try something different to help with their anxiety/depression to give it a go.

stormtigers Alcohol - destroyer of families and souls
  • replies: 1

Hi Little bit background. I am just over 60, my wife has just turned 48. We have been married 18 years have two beautiful daughters. My wife is an alcoholic, serious demonsare emerging and I don't know what to do. Reading some of the posts from other... View more

Hi Little bit background. I am just over 60, my wife has just turned 48. We have been married 18 years have two beautiful daughters. My wife is an alcoholic, serious demonsare emerging and I don't know what to do. Reading some of the posts from others is like reading our story. Narcissism, my fault she drinks, life like walking on eggshells, and now she wants to move out after a huge argument over nothing in which my youngest daughter also got involved because she is tired of hearing us fight and me being blamed for things that are just not right. It's is not an option, I am self employed have been most of my life and therefore almost unemployable at such an age. I have to keep working at what I do but that means extended periods of travel overseas (sometimes 2 weeks, sometimes a few months but family flies to join me when school holidays are on). I hate it but it's life. Work is very irregular, 2 years ago minimal work , home for almost 10 months. Then had an 9 week and 5 month contracts the following year. I get paid well WHEN I am working. I am not here to debate this is a factor in "confused lifestyle" which brings pressure or stress. But we have no other options believe me I have tried to find alternatives. The kids still at school, mortgage and bills have to be paid. I tell you all this because if she moves out I can no longer work and that will destroy our family, everything we have worked for. Her story is one of confused life, widow met widower (children both sides) then came my wife. Her mother died when she was young which hurts her and cause of much sadness. She hated her domineering father, her sisters did their best to raise her but domineered her life. Finally out she moved in with chap who hit her and she left. She does have history of habitual use of cigarettes, alcohol and (no longer)cannabis). She was a totally different person in early years of marriage. But now age, changes in life for BOTH of us don't help the situation. She has some back and hip problems which she thinks drinking helps with, refuses medications but alcohol is replacing food. Will not got to AA. The only time we fight is when she is drunk. I try t do what is recommended give her space, not argue but sometimes the hurt inflcited gets the better of me and I argue back. I just don't know how to handle this anymore, what to do. Our kids are beside themselves with fear of family breakup. I love her totally, need her, want her - I just don't want the alcoholic !