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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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LonelyGirl89 Healthy diet
  • replies: 7

I have been learning about how a healthy diet helps with anxiety. So I have been making a few changes to my diet. Like fish oil, fruits and nuts too. Has anybody been doing the same thing?

I have been learning about how a healthy diet helps with anxiety. So I have been making a few changes to my diet. Like fish oil, fruits and nuts too. Has anybody been doing the same thing?

Camellias I feel so incredibly alone
  • replies: 44

Im struggling in so many ways, not sure where to begin.... i have no friends, not even online and I feel so alone. I go to the library everyday feeling so alone. i have so many medical issues. Ive been on poverty-line newstart allowance since novembe... View more

Im struggling in so many ways, not sure where to begin.... i have no friends, not even online and I feel so alone. I go to the library everyday feeling so alone. i have so many medical issues. Ive been on poverty-line newstart allowance since november last year. I am waiting to hear if my disability pension claim has been approved or rejected - the waiting is causing me severe anxiety. Everything is now with the processing team including the last phase gp medical assessment. Im terrified I will be rejected as I am not able to work or study. The only place I can afford to rent does not allow pets, Im so depressed without an animal in my life. Im struggling so badly with this. I have always had a dog. I am seeing a lady who often wants time alone, to be with her kids alone and to see her friends alone. Im struggling with this because I feel I am not important, financial or good enough for her to want to spend time with me. She tells me she feels guilty when she needs these things, that it shouldnt be ‘ this difficult or hard’. I wonder what I am doing wrong. I want so much to make her happy. I hope i can find some friends on here for support, I dont want to be alone like this anymore.

Sadjazzy My morning
  • replies: 4

I woke up today instantly reminded of one of the most sadest things that’s happened to me, to others this may be small and stupid but this really breaks my heart I woke up today also reminded about the fact I can’t tell the person I love how upset I ... View more

I woke up today instantly reminded of one of the most sadest things that’s happened to me, to others this may be small and stupid but this really breaks my heart I woke up today also reminded about the fact I can’t tell the person I love how upset I am how depressed I feel I can’t get comfort from him or anything to do with support for myself otherwise it’ll just make things worse I woke up today realising I don’t have anyone to talk to about this or they’ll just say he’s a dickhead and I should break up with him but they don’t know the full story and I don’t want to talk about it I just want support about my problem now I woke up today crying on my bed alone wondering what can I even do about this I felt alone depressed like I have no support and if I ever will ..

Lizzyloulou Early Sobriety, Anxiety and Depression even worst!!
  • replies: 11

Hi I’m 32 years old and grew up in a household where my two younger brothers were idolised by my dad as they were good at sports and I was put down for being an academic and shy or not having any confidence and was told I was fat I was also bullied a... View more

Hi I’m 32 years old and grew up in a household where my two younger brothers were idolised by my dad as they were good at sports and I was put down for being an academic and shy or not having any confidence and was told I was fat I was also bullied at school and always felt like an outsider My mum always had my back. still does I remember from a young age feeling awkward, nervous, not good enough ect. Fast forward to my teenage years and I quickly gained a liking for alcohol as it was the only thing that made me feel normal and that I could talk to people and come out of my shell. Ive abused alcohol since the age of 15, always drinking more than others at parties ect. Using it to relieve social anxiety. Started everyday drinking from 16/17 onwards. Got into a relationship at 18 with a man 20 years older than me with 4 kids and was with him for 12 years, 9 years solid then the other 3 were on and off. We’ve been broken up for 3 years now. when I left him at 27 my drinking escalated and I seemed to cross some invisible line where there was no turning back to normal drinking. I ended up drinking anywhere between 2-4 bottles a day for the next 5 years besides the times I’ve been in inpatient rehab, which has been 4 x over the last 5 years. im 40 days sober today but I feel nearly worst then what I did mentally and emotionally then when I was drinking. Physically I feel better I’m not vomiting every morning and then waiting for the bottleshop to open. My negative self talk/beliefs are horrible. I haven’t got a job, I have social anxiety, I have GAD, I worry about absolutely everything. I really want to finish with the alcohol this time but I’m having extreme anxiety about even leaving my house, thinking all the what ifs. I’ve never even had a job interview in my life as I worked for my ex. i have no motivation, I’ve been reading lots of self help books and I am spiritually minded. I try to keep faith that I will somehow start to feel good about myself but I feel like I live in constant fear of life and since I’ve stopped drinking I don’t have a crutch to allow me to escape my thoughts or myself. i am proud of myself for making it this far. I want some friends, I don’t want to feel alone. But I’m scared to try new things on my own. I’ve done it before in the past but I’ve lost it atm. Also I have a massive fear about running into people I know in public and that’s always on my mind when I do leave my house and raises my anxiety as well. Can anyone relate?

Shining_Star Fighting alcoholism
  • replies: 4

Hi, I’m new here. I am currently starting my journey to beating the bottle, I’m learning the triggers for my drinking and it’s tough. I have not spoken openly to anyone other than my dr and husband about this issue. Im looking to hear from anyone who... View more

Hi, I’m new here. I am currently starting my journey to beating the bottle, I’m learning the triggers for my drinking and it’s tough. I have not spoken openly to anyone other than my dr and husband about this issue. Im looking to hear from anyone who is further down the line and help me to know it will get easier. I feel trapped because I’m so ashamed to speak to my most trusted people about this habit I’ve been hiding to so many years.

white knight Is "snap out of it" fully unjustified?
  • replies: 4

It's one of our most irritating comments we come across, notably those without any mind struggles tell us basically that we have the choice to overcome our symptoms with mind control in a split second "snap" and we'll be normal. Of course, someone th... View more

It's one of our most irritating comments we come across, notably those without any mind struggles tell us basically that we have the choice to overcome our symptoms with mind control in a split second "snap" and we'll be normal. Of course, someone that has the normal capability of mind control would wonder why you can't do what they do. Not only is that lack of empathy (also a serious deficiency of the mind) but it is simply naive. Like all matters however, why dont we remove the anger and emotions about this and examine if there is an elememt of truth to it, I think there might be. i think it lies in enambling those with a MI. As a child have you ever about to cry and your mother points at you and says "stop" or some other direction that causes you to stop your path towards crying? You stop and hold it in why?- because you you were told to by someone in authority in a direct manner. Dissecting this a little. If emotions at that moment were uncontrollable you would still cry regardless right? Does this mean you wanted to cry as a choice? And your mother countered that choice. If you had soft parents that , everytime you cried you got sympathy, would you allow yourself to cry more ofyen? Of course. As adults when we have depression or other struggles we no longer have that parent telling us to, get out of bed, go to work, stop crying... Does that mean as adults we dont need that? We do often need such prompts because normally it should come from ourselves...but alas, we haven't got it in us...the person saying "snap out of it" does! We didnt develop that control or we lost it. So, imo there is an element of truth to that direction only in that such directions are absent from our own capability. Being told to "snap out of it" can be used as a reminder of how our mood is effecting our behaviour and how frustrated others can be about us. We can answer them like this "have you known anyone that has "snapped" out of it?" "Is "snapping out of it" a proven psychiatric process, a reflection of your qualifications maybe? But you are far better off putting such directions aside as naive and ineffectual. If however you take the direction and turn it into a motivating tool you could use it as an example of what you lack- the minds isolation to some abilities lacking and work on them via therapy and recovery. "Snapping out of it" is needed by professionals over a long period of therapy not by people clicking fingers. TonyWK

white knight Inlaws- coping with rejection
  • replies: 2

The topic of inlaws comes up regularly here. In most such posts it refers to the poster being the new addition to the family by marriage. Common problems arise including you are not good enough to marry their daughter or son. Jealousy that you are ta... View more

The topic of inlaws comes up regularly here. In most such posts it refers to the poster being the new addition to the family by marriage. Common problems arise including you are not good enough to marry their daughter or son. Jealousy that you are taking attention off a sibling of your partner or, in some cases pure prevention of a warm welcome. But these problems are often compounded by our own expectations. As a partner to a person we automatically assume that our partners happiness in finding you as a mate would download to his/hers family being content - not so. In 1984 I met my first wife. She was the youngest of 5 children. 3 of her siblings were engaged to be married. My fiance and I decided on a wedding date and this upset her oldest brother and his fiance, their justification was that he was the eldest, so he should marry first which was ludicrous. The more likely reason was he was the first born and his parents favourite child and for the first time, the limelight was taken away. His fiance embarked on a demonising campaign that forever harmed the siblings relationships My actions following that was to drift away. I still encouraged my wife to attend family get togethers but I rarely attended. I reminded her that I married her, not her family. How far do our obligations extend? Well I'm of the view that you can remain civil but elusive, you can be evasive but dont ignore. If effort to get to know you isnt returned you are powerless to remedy that unless you keep trying and keep getting disappointed. What do you think? TonyWK

pat06 addiction
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I have a addiction to porn and I want to break it. How did people concur their addiction?

Hi all, I have a addiction to porn and I want to break it. How did people concur their addiction?

Chloe_Inglewood Off the meds - will lifestyle and other strategies be enough
  • replies: 1

Wondering if I’m going to spiral... After 10 years of medication and sick of side effects but scared of coming off, I’m off the meds. I tapered off slowly - have experienced vertigo in the 2 weeks following no dose. I’m exercising regularly -which he... View more

Wondering if I’m going to spiral... After 10 years of medication and sick of side effects but scared of coming off, I’m off the meds. I tapered off slowly - have experienced vertigo in the 2 weeks following no dose. I’m exercising regularly -which helps a lot, I’ve become more aware and use strategies to prevent anxiety/stress which contributes to deterioration of my mental health. I saw a psychologist last year and found the talking to someone helpful. My question is what hope do I have that this won’t last all of my life? I have three kids/ teenagers currently, I work full time in a pretty stressful nurse manager job, but I can’t seem to prevent a spiral when the pressure builds. Today I’m feeling pretty crap well it’s middle of the night and I’m writing this unable to sleep- overthinking setting in. I want to have kids, job and a life but struggle with just the two. Ive experienced a fair bit of trauma in my job but my childhood experiences affect me most- Sexual abuse and emotional/verbal abuse. I feel judged at work for having days off for my mental health- I don’t tell people why I’m off but I still get comments- not helpful. Now I’m a manager permanently for over two years, I’m not sure whether I should be one because of the impact of stress but why can’t I have a career I love. What hope is there to lead a full life?

Guest5643 Stop mind racing while falling asleep
  • replies: 1

If anyone has trouble falling asleep try this. For yrs ive used a soft toy dog called a snuggle puppy that has a beating mechanical heart in it. Its actualy made for puppies for there first nights in a home to comfort them while sleeping. Like most p... View more

If anyone has trouble falling asleep try this. For yrs ive used a soft toy dog called a snuggle puppy that has a beating mechanical heart in it. Its actualy made for puppies for there first nights in a home to comfort them while sleeping. Like most people my mind is more active when trying to sleep. This toy is perfect for stopping that. With me the regular constant sound of the beat and the gentle thumping slows my breathing to a relaxed steady pace and it shuts my mind off and fall asleep quite quickly