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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Triggers and meltdowns
  • replies: 8

With regards to triggers and meltdowns it seems everyone is different. However, a trigger is an unexpected event so you really cannot plan for them in terms of avoidance. Well, that's not entirely true, by life changing actions we can minimalise them... View more

With regards to triggers and meltdowns it seems everyone is different. However, a trigger is an unexpected event so you really cannot plan for them in terms of avoidance. Well, that's not entirely true, by life changing actions we can minimalise them, improve your environment, surround yourself with placid, loving people, improve your financial and employment circumstances etc can help remarkably. Minimalising is not elimination so having carried out all the changes, triggers still occur albeit much less. For me a trigger results in a meltdown, like hot water running through the veins in my head I become highly emotional (bipolar2). My immediate need is to escape the place I'm occupying no matter where it is. Yesterday it happened. I attended a podiatrist for the first time. The pleasant young lady began asking me questions, many of them associated with the numerous meds and physically issues. My anger built up (impatience). Then after 45 minutes of this she handed me a clipboard of questions. That was the real trigger, that feeling I get when I feel like a school boy going through these motions when all I want is my feet attended to (cause-domineering narcissistic mother). On every previous occasion this feeling arrives I leave, walk out. This time was different, I told her "I'm upset, I think I need to leave". Straight away she realised I was in a mess and suggested I time out for a few minutes, she reassured me all is ok and said I can begin speaking when I'm ready. About 5 minutes later I began to talk again. At all times she just sat there not saying a word. Clearly this was not your usual podiatrist, she was magnificent. Within around 10 minutes I was sitting on the raised chair joking about Tasmania where she came from. Amazing. I learned a lesson yesterday- to not over react with a meltdown, to give the person a chance to help, to remedy. To acknowledge that meltdowns dont last forever and by leaving can exacerbate the event. Like all problems good management can mean the difference between a life of turmoil or a life with best management practices to live a better life. To find a better path is to enter a better life. As always when I left the shopfront to that medical premises I looked up, at the trees and the birds and returned to my life of relative happiness. But today was better than most, I overcame a trigger and meltdown to stay and wait it out. As long as we improve is all that matters. How do you manage your meltdowns? Any tips? TonyWK

_goldfish_:o It comes and goes in waves
  • replies: 7

Hey, so I am a fairly new poster here but have been living with mental illness for a few years. One thing that I find really hard is that a lot of my symptoms seem to come and go quite drastically. One week I'll be on top of the world and the next I'... View more

Hey, so I am a fairly new poster here but have been living with mental illness for a few years. One thing that I find really hard is that a lot of my symptoms seem to come and go quite drastically. One week I'll be on top of the world and the next I'll be fighting off thoughts of SH. The 'hard periods' as I call them can last anywhere from a day to three months and don't happen at regular intervals either. I can also never identify anything that might trigger this when it happens. Does anyone else feel the same or have any advice? Or know why this happens? Or how to help/prevent it?(I'm open to suggestions and apologise if I have written anything wrong in this post)

alym20 walking it out
  • replies: 7

Hi all! One thing that instantly boosts my mood when feeling stressed or down is simply going for a walk.It can be challenging sometimes, especially in winter, to get myself out of my room but I know that as soon as I step outside for a walk I will r... View more

Hi all! One thing that instantly boosts my mood when feeling stressed or down is simply going for a walk.It can be challenging sometimes, especially in winter, to get myself out of my room but I know that as soon as I step outside for a walk I will return feeling better. Let me know if you enjoy walks too or have another favourite activity that makes you feel a little better!

ecomama Random Acts of Kindness during difficult times...
  • replies: 26

Hello everyone Today is a new day with new possibilities. Sometimes we feel so overwhelmed with our own issues and the crises around us that we may forget how powerful it can be for ourselves and others to say or do one kind thing... Kindness is love... View more

Hello everyone Today is a new day with new possibilities. Sometimes we feel so overwhelmed with our own issues and the crises around us that we may forget how powerful it can be for ourselves and others to say or do one kind thing... Kindness is love in action and our world is hurting. I've observed the change in people around me. Previous acts of kindness, were met with a smile and a thankyou but now... the reactions have changed. People are almost crying, saying thankyou with such relief. These responses hit me yesterday. I'm not a social worker but I do live and work in my community. I think about a kindness someone did for me all day, maybe for weeks and longer. When I do a simple thing for others I FEEL GOOD. We CAN make a difference. You can make a difference to someone today with a simple act, starting with yourself. Your actions can be planned but also taken on an impulse. A text asking how someone is doing? Or telling them you care about them. Offering to take an elderly person's trolley back to the bay or a parent's trolley back for them. Leaving a flower on a neighbour's letterbox. Asking the Supermarket worker how they're doing today. Thanking a Police Officer or Ambulance worker when you see them. Dropping a note into a person's letterbox when you know they live alone. Reacting with kindness. Kindness starts with being kind to ourselves. Please share a lovely thing you did for YOURSELF or somebody else. ANY THING is lovely to read about and can cheer a person up all day. Yesterday I saw a young mum struggling with her baby and shopping and trolley. The baby was crying. The empty trolley began to roll away. I stopped it and asked if I could take it back for her. She said "THANK YOU!" and said it four more times as I walked away and back. Then I saw her smiling and crying driving her car past me. She waved and I gave her a thumbs up. The darling girl, who knows what she's going through... Love to you today EM

quirkywords Does putting on weight affect your mental health?
  • replies: 14

I have been watching a program on sbs about What does Australia really think about obesity.? I was very moved that people who are overweight experience more mental health issues and depression that people who are not overweight. The program informed ... View more

I have been watching a program on sbs about What does Australia really think about obesity.? I was very moved that people who are overweight experience more mental health issues and depression that people who are not overweight. The program informed us that overweight people get negative comments every day and are subject to fat shaming when ever they go out in public. I wonder if you have ever experienced fat shaming or heard Brooke being shamed because of their weight. I worry that someone’s weight may be causing mental illness not due to the weight but how other people judge them. For much of my life I was over weight. In my first workplace my female colleagues told me I could get a boyfriend if only I lost weight and dressed better wore make up . I was told my thighs were too big to wear shorts. I have been called fat and lazy and complete strangers have given me advice. If you feel you can share how your weight makes you feel and any experience when you were shamed and judged for your weight. I am really interested to find out more about how mental health is affected by being overweight.

nib Happy.
  • replies: 4

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination." I can honestly say, that I am finally becoming more and more content with they way in which my life is panning out. I have been playing netball on and off for the past twenty years straight, and after bein... View more

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination." I can honestly say, that I am finally becoming more and more content with they way in which my life is panning out. I have been playing netball on and off for the past twenty years straight, and after being in this particular team for a year, I can, once again, honestly say, that this is my favourite and the best team I have ever played for. My best friend of twenty years (the friend that I was struggling to maintain a friendship with as we don't communicate often) scores for my team now, and once I service and renew registration for my car, we are going to plan a trip to Cairns (if anyone has been there - you have GOT to please give us some recommendations on what to do there!) We are going to fly there. I returned to adult school this year, after taking three years off due to experiencing poor mental health, and I am completely and utterly excelling at it! I will be completing Year 12 across two years, with next year being my last year at the school. I never moved in with the man I had a romantic interest in, and my relationship with my parents is improving. I have received a lot of counselling in regards to the man I had a romantic interest in, and I have come to the conclusion that he and his family were incredibly toxic to my mental health. My goals now include expanding my friendship circle, going back to volunteer, getting my certificate of education, and eventually getting paid work.

MWV The alcohol roundabout
  • replies: 29

I can't even remember how many times I feel like I've written this or felt like this. I have bipolar & long-time depression and anxiety. I'm finding it really hard to find purpose right now. I'm currently a stay at home dad and that isolation and som... View more

I can't even remember how many times I feel like I've written this or felt like this. I have bipolar & long-time depression and anxiety. I'm finding it really hard to find purpose right now. I'm currently a stay at home dad and that isolation and sometimes boredom leads me to the wine. Classic case of I have depression so I drink, and I'me depressed because I drink. But I would also binge drink when I wasn't a stay at home dad. I just use alcohol to dull my senses a bit. I know all of this is text book, but still wanted to put this out there to see what strategies other people have tried, and to know that I'm not the only one.... Thanks

Eagle Ray Getting a rescue dog?
  • replies: 14

I’ve found a rescue dog online I’m drawn to adopt? He is on the introverted side and quite scared of people, and they are looking for someone of a similar nature who will be gentle and understanding of him. Not long ago I saw an episode of The Dog Ho... View more

I’ve found a rescue dog online I’m drawn to adopt? He is on the introverted side and quite scared of people, and they are looking for someone of a similar nature who will be gentle and understanding of him. Not long ago I saw an episode of The Dog House where a guy with PTSD was looking to adopt a rescue dog. He was initially matched with a dog who had trauma like him but it didn’t work out. In the end they matched him with a young, happy non-traumatised dog and it really worked. What I’m a little worried about is my whole life I have been a carer for others who are traumatised, including caring for my mother from a young age. This has left me with my own trauma. I wonder if it would be better for me to adopt a less shut down and frightened dog. At the same time I feel I would understand him, be able to help him come out of his shell and help him feel safe, that the world is not a threat (even though I’m still learning this myself). It’s like I’m exhausted from a lifelong carer role and feel I have nothing left to give, and yet I love dogs and am drawn to this one. I’m confused Obviously no one else can make the decision for me, and I can travel to meet him at least. But I just wondered if anyone else here with a trauma history has adopted a dog before? Was it a rescue dog and how did it go? I didn’t grow up with dogs but have lived with others’ dogs several times as an adult. I’ve cared for housemates’ and landlords’ dogs for extended periods when they’ve been away. So I’m aware of the work involved but also loved them to bits and they’ve been an important part of my life. I have some chronic health issues so this one I’m considering at the moment might suit in that he’s not high energy and sounds like he’s happy to go on sedate walks. Anyway, just wondering if anyone has any thoughts or similar experiences?

Guest_1055 Positivity Words A - Z
  • replies: 3902

Hello, Sometimes it is really challenging to think positive. Especially when we are struggling with things or when circumstances in our lives seem difficult. So I thought this may help. Just think of a positive word. Words go from A to Z. Like one pe... View more

Hello, Sometimes it is really challenging to think positive. Especially when we are struggling with things or when circumstances in our lives seem difficult. So I thought this may help. Just think of a positive word. Words go from A to Z. Like one person says something starting with A the next person say something that is starting with B. And so on. All words must be positive, so no doom and gloom. Feel free to write the meaning of the positive word you choose if you want. Maybe that would help us all. Not sure how this will go....

white knight Triggers that down you. Triggers that lift you
  • replies: 84

How often have we felt those triggers snap us into depression? Down we go. A workplace bully only has to smirk at us. A bit of sad news. A red letter from a bill we've missed. A piece of gossip about us that reaches our ears. For many of us our trigg... View more

How often have we felt those triggers snap us into depression? Down we go. A workplace bully only has to smirk at us. A bit of sad news. A red letter from a bill we've missed. A piece of gossip about us that reaches our ears. For many of us our trigger is unavoidable and I don't think there is much we guilt ridden over sensitive types can do about it. There are some things that medication cant control and psychiatrist session cant solve except a mental bandaid that might make us feel better until the next trigger. So if triggers that cause our emotional drop cant be stopped or lessened what can we do about them? Is there a counter measure? If the negative trigger is on one side of a weighing scale what can we put on the other side to at least try to give a balance? Well in my view its not unlike positive motivation but in a different sense. What I've tried to do, and in most cases succeeded, is to lock onto quotes. My daughter has anxiety and it peaked last year. She attended a psychologist for one session only, she believed she would need many sessions and extended visits. after her session she rang me and told me she wouldn't be attending anymore. She said that the professional told her that her reactions about elements of her childhood were typical reactions for a child in her circumstance. That at 12yo to leave her mothers home and live with her father (me) and for her mother to disown her for such a move was bound to create many mixed and hurtful feelings. She told me she felt that his comment triggered her in a way that she found the answer to the whole problem. "I'm right now dad" she said. Similar things have occurred to me over the decades. Once I fought corruption on a small scale at a local council. I was one of their employees. It confused me. I asked my doctor why the mayor acted the way he has, grandstanding and manipulating the facts - "power Tony, its a lust for power". That was the positive trigger I needed. There was no other need to delve into the smaller details. "Power" covered it all. Reading through some of the threads here has found many more. Posters quote other posters because they "hit the nail on the head" as they say. Can you, the one that falls mentally down the well of despair, use positive quotes, phrases from others to build a stairway back up? We have a "quotes" thread here to. Ones that I have found so helpful from the likes of Churchill, Ghandi and so on Try to focus on these. It might help. Tony WK