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Sophie_M Sleep and Mental Health
  • replies: 0

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remem... View more

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remember things, regulate our emotions, or to feel excited and energised… it can change the way we think and feel in such a significant and impactful way. Whether it’s due to big life changes, global pandemics, financial or work stressors, health concerns (like menopause), how much ‘you’ time you have, or even unprocessed emotions you weren’t aware were there – so many things can impact how you sleep. All of this goes to show that not only do your daily habits, routines, and experiences play a huge role in maintaining healthy sleep cycles, but so does your mental health. And frustratingly enough, your sleep also impacts and informs your mental health and daily habits. Like most things, it’s a very easy cycle to fall into. So, it’s imperative that we are gentle and compassionate with ourselves on our journey to understanding what is making us so hypervigilant and unable to rest in the first place. Studies show that journaling or mindfulness practices throughout the day, healthy food, movement, sunshine, connection with loved ones, and support from health professionals can help us to feel more grounded and able to rest. But we are curious… what has worked for you? When do you notice that your sleep is most affected vs. when you get the best rest? And is there a way you could practice regulating your nervous system more throughout the day to help promote better sleep at night? We would love to hear your thoughts! Let us know if you have any questions and be sure to check out our page on ‘Sleep and Mental Health’ for more guidance and insight into a more supported and restful night’s sleep: Sleep and mental health - Beyond Blue - Beyond Blue Looking forward to hearing from you! Kind regards, Sophie M

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Just Sara Remembering the bad/good ole days
  • replies: 29

Recently I posted about how life was growing up and the hardships my family and I faced. (See-saw, Marjorie door..Staying well) Although the younger generation might role their eyes or tell how things have changed and not to dwell, I've found comfort... View more

Recently I posted about how life was growing up and the hardships my family and I faced. (See-saw, Marjorie door..Staying well) Although the younger generation might role their eyes or tell how things have changed and not to dwell, I've found comfort in remembering how the simple pleasures in life can be the most enjoyable. We place so much pressure on ourselves trying to live up to social standards and forget just how uncomplicated life can be without those constraints. When I was little, I lived in a busy prominent street where all the neighbours knew who and where people in our area were. I walked out of my home down the street naked as a toddler and was bought back by someone over a block away. My parents invited them in, shared a simple meal and played cards till late while they talked and laughed about me 'touring' the neighbourhood. We didn't have a phone or a TV, but managed to find things to do. Music and hourly news would fill the air most of the time and 'playing' meant enjoying whatever was laying around the yard or house. As I grew older, tinkering in our shed became an exercise in exploration and adventure. Ooh...so much junk!! Do you have stories that reflect how spoiled we've become in society and how life 'was' in opposition to now? Please share...Dizzy xo

Just Sara Random Acts of Kindness
  • replies: 2

This month is the 2nd anniversary of my breakdown. It happened at work. A few hrs before, I parked the car and sat alone on a bench in a very small park area in the CBD. I began to sob and couldn't stop. I looked up and watched as an elderly woman ho... View more

This month is the 2nd anniversary of my breakdown. It happened at work. A few hrs before, I parked the car and sat alone on a bench in a very small park area in the CBD. I began to sob and couldn't stop. I looked up and watched as an elderly woman hobbled over and sat beside me. I tried to compose myself but was overcome with sadness and grief. I didn't want to look at her as she sat patiently gazing my way. Then she slowly took my hand in hers and said very softly; "I can see you're having quite a hard time of it. Is there anything I can do dear?" I covered my mouth and held back an impulse to wail out loud, and managed to answer, albeit with shuddering and shaking; "Oh, don't worry about me, I'm fine." She rubbed my hand gently and replied; "No you're not. If there's anything I can get you, tell me now; please" I wiped my face with my hands and gave an oh so painful smile; "It's nice to know there's still people who care...that's lovely, thankyou" She sighed and stood up. "You take care of yourself my dear. I'm heading off to church in a moment, so I'll say a special prayer for you while I'm there. Everything will turn out; you'll see" She walked back to her car and drove away. I held my breath until she was gone, and broke down in a fit of uncontrollable tears. What a beautiful and kind woman. My heart felt warm, but at the same time I felt broken. Why did this genteel old lady afford me so much compassion? I didn't feel worthy. For some reason, today I remembered this random act of kindness for the first time since it happened. That day I was touched by an angel. How precious a soul she was to pray for a complete stranger on the street. I soon remembered many situations where I was helped by people wanting nothing more in return than a thankyou or smile, and to know they could assist in some way to make my life just a little bit better. Please share your experiences of 'receiving' random acts of kindness from strangers. First time posters are very welcome to contribute. It's certainly humbling to think my life has been enhanced through an offer of prayer. There 'is' such good in this world, we just need to remember. Warm and kind thoughts...Dizzy xoxo

All_things_green Penny dropper- Anger issues
  • replies: 3

so I've been told I have anger issues...for the first time the penny dropped and I now actually agree. I thought I knew myself better than that...but I obviously don't. I realise I am a very prideful person and have a lot of fear around failing or lo... View more

so I've been told I have anger issues...for the first time the penny dropped and I now actually agree. I thought I knew myself better than that...but I obviously don't. I realise I am a very prideful person and have a lot of fear around failing or looking bad. That is why I am highly strung and pedantic about things..getting things right or whatever that means. I thought I was a great communicator, but I'm actually quite a on surface talker and connector. People warm to me a lot but it's obviously not for my depth and ability to connect. I actually am so surface with the way I process things I have been told by my family I am like a robot. I actually thought I was quite a warm and caring person to my husband and older kids. The embarrassing thing is I work in a white collar industry, & appear to be very together and quite successful. Shame on me! This ain't all that when you don't have people around you that you love and they love you unconditionally. Maybe I love and like people with too many conditions??? Big question mark? I just need help to figure this one out? I have no idea how to look in the mirror truthfully and make changes. I need to make change. Any thoughts people in the real world?

lookingforme Tough Mudder Chronicles - Looking to Soak in Some Support
  • replies: 48

Hi All, I very recently signed up for a Tough Mudder event in December while on a temporary high from getting some good news. Now it has become glaringly obvious that I stopped believing I can do it, mainly because I haven't slept at all well in the ... View more

Hi All, I very recently signed up for a Tough Mudder event in December while on a temporary high from getting some good news. Now it has become glaringly obvious that I stopped believing I can do it, mainly because I haven't slept at all well in the last 7 days, which has made me skip training, let alone the last....well there's a whole chunk of time where this has been an issue but at least before, I got up and did stuff. I do know that I still want to do it, if only not to regret pulling out (may not be the best reason, but still is a reason I can understand - one less regret). I suppose what I could do with is some support from the mental health support team that's around here in all of you. I already have the support system in another social network, but rather than constantly reminding me that they, or we are all team no excuses, get it done, maybe a little more sensitivity on the days where I couldn't get up, and am already hard on myself. And who knows, maybe my chronicles will help inspire also? That's me. What do you think? Joelle out.

lookingforme Positive Reinforcement Maybe.
  • replies: 11

So, my psychologist has pointed out to me that when I comment on my life, I don't comment on anything good that may have happened, along with the bad I feel. It all seems to get overwhelmed. I have also been told that I don't necessarily celebrate my... View more

So, my psychologist has pointed out to me that when I comment on my life, I don't comment on anything good that may have happened, along with the bad I feel. It all seems to get overwhelmed. I have also been told that I don't necessarily celebrate my achievements. I deem it useless, but apparently it's good for me (who knew?). If do look at what I have achieved, it is the same as noting facts in a history book. This happened, yes, because I did this, so what? That is what I think. Mostly, I think it because I go through such mental turmoil to achieve that to think back on the process hurts me too much. This was true when I did my Honours year - up until the end of last year I could not, not cry when I thought of that year. Graduation from uni was a shambles, I ended up going to a shopping center and cried in a corner somewhere away from anyone I knew. Anyway, I think that's the reason, the struggle is too painful to remember, and never forgotten. Someone on these forums (*Cough* Carol *Cough) suggested that I come up with a good thing in my day everyday on here, for people who I know actually care about me to see, and somehow the fact that yes, I have done good, will be reinforced. I say this all with cynicism (but in no way reject the suggestion) because I have been programmed to think that anything good about myself should indeed be squashed, and all my faults should be highlighted, because how else am I supposed to be better, and if I bragged, I will get complacent and somehow lose respect for people and things and become selfish. In fact, apparently, I am all of those things. I spaced out after that sentence... Anyway, fighting against my nature here, I am trying. This may not happen everyday (covering myself here). First one: Got a Tough Mudder event coming up and with the greatest difficulty I made a training plan. What do you think?

StaticRose51 Moving forward through the good years
  • replies: 3

Hi All, I recently had another session with my shrink as I have Anxiety. She was pleased with the work i've done on myself, however she would like me to keep making an effort to keep the balance right for the next couple of years. So she is sending m... View more

Hi All, I recently had another session with my shrink as I have Anxiety. She was pleased with the work i've done on myself, however she would like me to keep making an effort to keep the balance right for the next couple of years. So she is sending me some more resources by mail. My question is this, What else helps when you are an outgoing introvert?

Zeal Women's Health Week : body image
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone, As a woman, I know firsthand that many of us tend to be body-conscious. While this is true for many men too, this week is Women's Health Week (sorry guys) I thought we could start a friendly discussion here about body image: how we view ... View more

Hi everyone, As a woman, I know firsthand that many of us tend to be body-conscious. While this is true for many men too, this week is Women's Health Week (sorry guys) I thought we could start a friendly discussion here about body image: how we view ourselves, what impacts body image, and even share some personal experiences. I'll start off by speaking about my own personal experiences with body image. As a child and teen, I was always slim and lanky. This was what people complimented me on, and as I had low self-esteem, I placed high value on this physical aspect of myself. I had a healthy appetite, and would eat like a teen boy when I came home from rowing trainings in my early-to-mid teens! I put on a little bit of weight at about 16, and found this hard. I had recently quit rowing, and was much more inactive. At 17 (in Year 12), I would emotionally eat when anxious, and I ended up actually losing weight from stress. My skin was pale, I was constantly tired, and I was my own worst critic when it came to my appearance, schoolwork, and other areas. At 19, I suffered from an eating disorder, which put my life on hold for about two years. Now, at 23, I have a much healthier relationship with food I eat healthily (generally), and have a variety of different foods. I don't binge eat anymore, and I also don't cut out certain foods. Moderation is the key. I tend not to read magazines or diet info, as this can have a negative impact psychologically. An area I know I need to work on is physical activity. I enjoy walking and do household chores, but that is my only form of exercise. It would be great to hear experiences from others, and personal insights Talk soon, SM

white knight Know your limits!!
  • replies: 4

Some call it burnout. Others call it breakdown. Whether its depression or any other mental illness they can have a residual effect even if you feel in recovery. I've previously expressed my feeling when "overloaded". As if my mind in an unstressed fo... View more

Some call it burnout. Others call it breakdown. Whether its depression or any other mental illness they can have a residual effect even if you feel in recovery. I've previously expressed my feeling when "overloaded". As if my mind in an unstressed form is a bucket nearly full. When stress or worry arrives it quickly overflows. Then comes the sadness and the intolerance, moods and inability to do anything except enter my comfort zone....my shed. Whereas, a person free of mental issues has an empty bucket and it only fills half way when stress arrives then quickly empties. Rarely does their bucket overflow. Perhaps with trauma. I have a lifelong school friend. He never got emotional until his father died. For the first time I saw him weep. A few days later I was asking him if he'd recovered. He had and he'd realised how his emotional friend had lived his life in an emotional mess. " now I know what you've endured" he said. Back to stress. As explained recently by a bb member, 30 minutes on the phone to a telco or bank can be testing for us. If spent after that, withdraw until the next day from intolerant situations, pace yourself and be disciplined. For you will think along the lines of how you have been in your earlier life...capable and active...well sorry....it isn't like that anymore...adapt, accept...you are damaged goods now. " Damaged goods" a terrible term. A back injury is not any different. If you've had one, how difficult is it to stop bending over to pick something up? " ouch, I shouldn't have done that"... Know your mental limits. Write them down. Read them in the morning. Share them with your carer. What about friends? I don't share them with friends. However say we gave a BBQ and the topic surrounding animal cruelty or family suffering or similar topic that can lead to a panic attack or upset....in a large group I'll give excuse to leave and return 20 minutes later. In a small gathering I'll ask to change the subject. Recently my good neighbour was talking about his dog and details of his passing. " that's sad Col, anyway how's that car restoration going"... This self awareness has been developing for 20 years. I think I'm getting there. Know your limitations. Etch them in your mind. Beware the overflowing bucket. Then you'll have less upset, your carer will be happier and you'll settle down to pace yourself....and that call to the council about your rates? One stressful call a day...it can wait till tomorrow. Tony WK

Evan_John My life in a years time...
  • replies: 4

Hi friends at BB, I came across a particular strategy a week ago in a bulimia recovery guide that I've really taken a liking to (I'm not bulimic but have found the guide incredibly useful for working with my negative self-view and anxiety). These two... View more

Hi friends at BB, I came across a particular strategy a week ago in a bulimia recovery guide that I've really taken a liking to (I'm not bulimic but have found the guide incredibly useful for working with my negative self-view and anxiety). These two simple paragraphs lighten my load every time I refer to them. They give me perspective and hope, and I find I love and accept myself more easily after doing it. It makes me happy sharing it with you all. Please feel free to create your own version in the thread below for whatever situation you find yourself working to grow through. My Life in 1 years time... if I keep on NOT loving and accepting myself. I sleep poorly at night and awake not refreshed, just dull and tired. My energy levels are inconsistent and it's work getting up for work. I'm self-conscious in my workplace, trying to prove, please, perfect, and perform. I carry this to all of my workplaces. I carry this to all of my relationships. I carry this to any and every country I visit. No love anyone gives me will ever be enough and my relationships fail. I become more alone and punish myself because I'm not enough. My Life in 1 years time... if I grow to love and accepting myself. I have energy, so much I don't know what to do with it! I awake joyous and feeling loved in the morning. This is effortless. I'm comfortable wherever I am because I'm centered. I trust my partner wholeheartedly and she feels free and loved. I travel embracing the fear and excitement. I have genuine gems of wisdom from my growth and my artwork expresses this. Mindfulness, gratitude, and joy roll out of me and I'm vulnerable to life.

Gettingbetter23 Self compassion
  • replies: 3

Hi All, I'm brand new and this is my first post! I'm working on getting out of the hole but sometimes I slip back in and feel I'm back at square one. Being compassionate towards others is easy, but I'm learning that I need to have compassion for myse... View more

Hi All, I'm brand new and this is my first post! I'm working on getting out of the hole but sometimes I slip back in and feel I'm back at square one. Being compassionate towards others is easy, but I'm learning that I need to have compassion for myself. For a long time I hated myself. But that doesn't get me anywhere. Hoping things will get better with time - step by step. Thanks for listening.