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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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SeanA Something to make you think.
  • replies: 1

A hiatus from writing has meant a backlog of thoughts that seem to be obvious when I look at them on this page. Previously stacked head high in my thoughts, they seem to become simple when I type them. They are realisations that relate to me and many... View more

A hiatus from writing has meant a backlog of thoughts that seem to be obvious when I look at them on this page. Previously stacked head high in my thoughts, they seem to become simple when I type them. They are realisations that relate to me and many readers:1 – Many of my endeavours in life were a result of me of avoiding a conversation with myself. 2 – The conversation is always waiting for you after you get sidetracked.3 – Many people spend their whole life avoiding a conversation with themself. Mainly because it is uncomfortable. It's easier to immerse yourself in a new direction. A trip... A relationship... A job... An argument... Buying the latest shiny object. The internal dialogue always dims under the brightness of the latest obsession. Same ol, same ol. What's wrong with doing the same thing year in and year out? Why do we have to start something new to make our life seem worthwhile? Just because your job isn't new doesn't mean it's not exciting. The answer is right in front of us. It's because we think doing the same thing over and over is either a type of meditation (too hard) or a form of torture. Remember that at school we were punished with repetition. "I will not shout in class" written 100 times on the board. Our DNA soon read: Mind numbing repetition is to be avoided at all costs. But isn't a state of constant and never ending improvement the way to make a good thing into a great thing? Starting from scratch in another endeavour often means going back to zero. So, I look at my accomplishments and decide how to take them to a higher level. I leverage my earlier efforts and create something new. I climb to the top of a pile of papers and I can see what is possible. Feeling pretty energised now.

Always_curiously_wonderin Use of structure in wellness
  • replies: 9

Hi all, I am curious to know how people use structure in their lives to stay balanced particuarly in those with concerns with anxiety. I myself have a relationship with anxiety and perfectionsim and have some recent life changes- moving back into my ... View more

Hi all, I am curious to know how people use structure in their lives to stay balanced particuarly in those with concerns with anxiety. I myself have a relationship with anxiety and perfectionsim and have some recent life changes- moving back into my parents house to recomence study and go down a different career path, and am yet to find a good structure in my life (other than work). In the past I have found structure important in my life, and due to moving into a less structured lifestyle, I would like to know how others do it, stick with it, and what they find beneficial, or what doesn't work about it. Cheers.

SubduedBlues When life gives you lemons...
  • replies: 10

There is an age old saying that "when life gives us lemons, we should make lemonade." I never truly understood this saying until the events in my life led me to become a participating member of the beyondblue forums. The unforseen events in my life r... View more

There is an age old saying that "when life gives us lemons, we should make lemonade." I never truly understood this saying until the events in my life led me to become a participating member of the beyondblue forums. The unforseen events in my life really did give me some sour lemons. There were those days that were so bad I desperately wished the day was already over before the sun had even finished rising. But through the support I received on the forums, through reading the troubles of others, connecting with people who had similar encounters, I learnt that I am not alone and slowly learned the recipe on how to make lemonade. Whilst I was here, each day I would cling to my computer, anticipating a reply to my posting ... looking to help someone else (whilst trying to forget my own problems) ... reading through questions and answers and advice's and comments. Information and data and happiness and despair, joy and sadness and pure unadulterated emotions and ... Argh!! I overloaded. I broke. I separated myself from the forum. And... I found the strength to get up; to face the day; to make the bed; ; to make another lunch; to give my kids a hug; to wash the car; to make dinner; to do the domestic chores. Each day I did something, and another something; and then something more. and soon I stopped worrying about what I can't do, and started to see what I "can" do. And then ... something truly amazing happened... I woke up and I was happy. -- So I went out and joined a social group for people with Social Anxiety. And I met some really nice people who ignore all of my quirks and problems and see me for me. ...and I am happy. Since then I have been out volunteering with other charity groups; and though I still anxious as ever, I found a way that allows me to contribute to society once again. Even today, I was volunteering with the beyondblue bus in Newcastle ... it felt really good to be able to give back to one of the groups that has helped me so much. And on this coming Wednesday 17th Dec I am going to a fundraiser event for Black Dog Institute in Sydney (search "sociable charitable people" if you want to come along). -- I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for helping me when my days were blue.And if you are ever in Sydney, stop by some time and I'll pour you a glass of lemonade. D'

white knight Vulnerable? Be ready to defend
  • replies: 0

Unfortunately some people see mental illness as weakness. You appear to them as submissive, a target. Even your quietness can be interpreted as someone to dominate. Add to that confidence issues and you could be prey. That situation is not reserved j... View more

Unfortunately some people see mental illness as weakness. You appear to them as submissive, a target. Even your quietness can be interpreted as someone to dominate. Add to that confidence issues and you could be prey. That situation is not reserved just for narcissistic people for a frustrated partner or friend can come across as narcissistic while they are merely trying to express their thoughts. So what are your rights? Your rights are where you draw the line (no one else) as to what you can withstand. However there are some basic rights all persons with issues should feel they have a need to defend. Eg. This week on another thread (tolerant partners) a member told how all her life, she has said things without knowing those words were hurtful to others. This raises questions. Intent is a great word. If your disability includes saying things that come out incorrectly that offend who's fault is that? If a person with a back injury cant run a marathon is it their fault? We dont often enough compare our emotional restrictions with physical restrictions. Why not? In both cases it isnt our choice, they are unwelcomed issues that erode any confidence you have. So, do we allow others to walk over us? What can we do to counter aggression from them taking advantage of us? Getting upset is counter productive. Your anger or emotion proves to them "gee her problems are worse than I thought". One thread covers this (google) Topic: wit, the only answer to torment- beyondblue Yes, you'll need to develop strategies including witty answers to put to these people your right as a person with issues no fault of yours. There is a benefit of the doubt however. People without mental illness can say the wrong thing and make mistakes to. Are they not entitled to your empathy/equal rights? The other way is to surround yourself with the type of friends without the nasty streak. But do try to seek out the kind heart inside the rough sometimes inconsiderate exterior. See, as a sensitive type caused by dysthymia, bipolar 2 etc I get told, even at 61yo "you've got to toughen up". If being a prison officer, security guard or dog ranger didnt toughen me up then nothing would. My sensitivity is me, your poorly chosen words are you, the lame man? We are not defined by our disability. We are who we are, no need for self proclaimed experts. Tell them in a calm, firm manner your concerns. If that doesnt work use...wit! If all else fails move on. Its not your fault. Tony WK

Beltane What hobbies/ techniques/ lifestyle changes make you feel great?
  • replies: 28

Hey all. I'd like to start a nice little convo where we can talk about the things that make us happy, keep us well, soothe our emotions or that make us feel accomplished/ proud/ confident etc. It can be anything you want- a hobby you do, a type of th... View more

Hey all. I'd like to start a nice little convo where we can talk about the things that make us happy, keep us well, soothe our emotions or that make us feel accomplished/ proud/ confident etc. It can be anything you want- a hobby you do, a type of therapy or technique, your belief system, your family or friends, a dream or goal, a song or band, sport, exercise. Whatever it is that gets you feeling better or keeps you feeling well, lets share our joys and happiness's so that others can be inspired. i'll start. I love Crossfit- it keeps me fit and i'm always feeling accomplished because i see myself doing things i couldn't do before. Each week i can run further than i could the week before, or lift a heavier weight, or do more sit-ups- and I've made friends doing it! I do it in the most evenings to ease the stress of a long day, and to improve my sleep. I love music- I find songs that match my emotions so I can express them and get them out when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I taught myself to play guitar and love to sing. My favorite thing of all is sewing. I've only really started last year, and soon fell in absolute love with it. It always makes me feel better, no matter how distressed. The process of cutting and sewing is so calming, and looking at my finished projects (patchwork quilts, pretty skirts, little knick-knacks like notebook covers) fills me with a feeling of accomplishment, confidence and pride. Other people compliment me on my finished projects, and ask me to make them things. My dream is to be a kindergarten teacher and to live in the country, surrounded by nature and away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Those are things that make me happy, confident, and enjoying life. What are yours?

james1 Giving voice to the voices in your head
  • replies: 6

Okay so a lot of us have, in various posts, talked about having thoughts in our head. You know, the ones that keep talking and talking and you can't shut them up. So one of the things I thought about on my ride in to work today was: what if I actuall... View more

Okay so a lot of us have, in various posts, talked about having thoughts in our head. You know, the ones that keep talking and talking and you can't shut them up. So one of the things I thought about on my ride in to work today was: what if I actually speak them out aloud every time they start "talking" in my head? I mean, it helps that I'm wearing a helmet and people can't hear me properly when I'm talking to myself, but yeah. Has anyone done this before? We all talk to ourselves every now and then, but what if we make a conscious effort to speak the thoughts in our head every time it happens? I'm curious to see if it works for people to make the thoughts less intense and less noisy. James

startingnew what are you grateful for? what make you feel good about yourself?
  • replies: 3

HI everyone so lately its been hard to think of reasons to be grateful and how to feel good about being here. everyone is different so what is it that your grateful for in your life? what is that make you feel good about being 'you'?

HI everyone so lately its been hard to think of reasons to be grateful and how to feel good about being here. everyone is different so what is it that your grateful for in your life? what is that make you feel good about being 'you'?

MsPurple GOAL SETTING. How do you set goals and make them a reality? Are you satisfied when you meet your goal?
  • replies: 15

Hi Everyone. I thought I would make a new thread on goal setting, making a goal a reality and beings satisfied with it. I have always found making a goal difficult. I either make them to easy or too hard. I struggle to find a realistic goal that also... View more

Hi Everyone. I thought I would make a new thread on goal setting, making a goal a reality and beings satisfied with it. I have always found making a goal difficult. I either make them to easy or too hard. I struggle to find a realistic goal that also challenges me. It is something that I am working on. I thought I'd start the ball rolling as I started the tread. I thought I'd share a goal I have always had and how I finally accomplished it. I have always wanted to do a triathlon (or tri as I will refer to it as). It is something I thought would be challenging, mentally and physically. I have always had unrealistic goals such as losing x kg in x weeks. I have tried to stay away from goals like that as they do not help my self body image/satisfaction and it doesn't help with my anxiety and depression. So I thought doing a tri would be realistic thing I could do this year, with a friend of mine that also does tri. I was considering doing a shorter distance but she encouraged me to do the longer one as I am going to the gym and I am probably at my fittest I have been in a long time. So today I made this goal of completing a tri a reality. I did it today! I was so happy with this accomplishment. I didn't want to compete against others, I just wanted to finish and compete with myself. And I did it. I was happy with everything, happy with my achievement. Later this afternoon I got my time and I was a little disappointed. I finished in just over 2 hours, which is good for a first attempt. But I can't stop thinking, 'man I was so close to finishing in under two hours'. I was happier not knowing my time. Why do we become less satisfied at meeting our goals a little after they are completed? Don't get me wrong, I am now over the moon and so proud of myself, but me just having this thought of 'so close' makes me a little sad that I do this. So I thought I would start a thread on goal setting so we can help each other set realistic goals, make them reality and to become completely satisfied with meeting our goals. No goal is too small or too big, however a realistic challenge is always good. Hope we can all show support to each other and help each other set realistic goals.

MarkJT Turning negatives into positives
  • replies: 35

I have always tried to turn a negative into a positive. Negatives are never nice to go through so i think it is really important that you get something out of it, for me that is anything that is positive. Say for instance, i was hospitalised in Feb 2... View more

I have always tried to turn a negative into a positive. Negatives are never nice to go through so i think it is really important that you get something out of it, for me that is anything that is positive. Say for instance, i was hospitalised in Feb 2013 with PTSD, depression and anxiety. Whilst sitting in hospital with my life in tatters, I made a promise to myself that I am going to use my experience which at the time, was completely crap to help others. At that stage I didn't know how i was going to achieve this but in any event, it was something i promised. I have since worked out how to do that and being part of this forum is one of them. I really enjoy help guide people who are at the start or in the middle of their journeys. So i am just wondering, how do other people turn the negatives into positives? When do you try and do this? i.e. at the start of the negative? In the middle? at the end? I wonder if some people just cannot do that? I guess there would be. Keen to hear your thoughts. Cheers Mark.

BenD Not feeling well...so here's what I did
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I've had a bit of a messy breakup lately and its made me feel pretty low. I've got some pretty positive behaviours going such as: Exercising, lots of walks Joined my mate for a game of footy Got out of bed and attended uni Booked a psych... View more

Hi everyone, I've had a bit of a messy breakup lately and its made me feel pretty low. I've got some pretty positive behaviours going such as: Exercising, lots of walks Joined my mate for a game of footy Got out of bed and attended uni Booked a psych and Dr appointment Caught up for a beer and a chat with my younger brother Went to a quiz night with another mate Posting on here about my feelings ​So been here before and I know I can get through it, just the feeling of worthlessness is a pain and I wish it would go away. Thankyou for being here as always, Ben