Staying well

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BeyondBlue Beyond Burnout webinar- What's next?
  • replies: 17

Hi everyone, You’re probably here because you want to either prevent or recover from burnout, or you’ve just attended Beyond Burnout. We understand that this topic resonates deeply with many of us. Burnout can affect anyone, and discussing it openly ... View more

Hi everyone, You’re probably here because you want to either prevent or recover from burnout, or you’ve just attended Beyond Burnout. We understand that this topic resonates deeply with many of us. Burnout can affect anyone, and discussing it openly is a powerful step toward healing, prevention, and knowing that you’re not alone. If you’re unsure where to start your conversations about burnout, this is the space for you. Whether you want to share your own experiences, ask questions, or simply connect with others who understand what you're going through, you're in the right place. If you're seeking additional support, here are some resources: Burnout and Mental Health: Including our Burnout Check-In Tool and practical tips on how to stay well at work Personal Stories: Read about people’s experiences with burnout We’ll also use this space to post some of the questions and answers from the webinar discussion. Feel free to dive in and keep the conversation going. Our webinar recording is now available to watch: Beyond Burnout Webinar recording Thank you again for joining us — we’re glad you’re here.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

All discussions

CMF Meditation, Manifesting, Gratitude & The Law of Attraction
  • replies: 735

Hi everyone, Not sure where to start so hope I can express myself clearly and maybe with others' input we can expand on this. I'm interested in people's thoughts/ experience with meditation, manifesting, gratitude & the law of attraction. I've recent... View more

Hi everyone, Not sure where to start so hope I can express myself clearly and maybe with others' input we can expand on this. I'm interested in people's thoughts/ experience with meditation, manifesting, gratitude & the law of attraction. I've recently started using the Smiling Mind app to meditate when going to sleep and sometimes when feeling a little anxious, like tonight. It is something i thought i could never do as my mind rarely stops, however, with persistence, I find I enjoy it. I guess i tend to have a negative mindset which I am determined to change.I always felt uneasy about thinking positive things as i thought i would jinx myself, and that whenever I made a positive comment or felt happy it would go wrong or something negative would happen. So i refrained from allowing myself to be too happy, I guess to 'protect' myself. Recently i have been feeling happier, stronger, expressing gratitude and taking note of when things have come to me when i needed them. Coincidence, or answers to what i put out to the Universe? I like to think the latter. A work colleague one day told me to manifest something i wanted, put it out to the universe , so I'm trying. Example, recently we needed to measure the floor space at reception so we could calculate how many people we could have in at one time. I needed a tape measure, which i did not have. At that moment our handyman walked into the office. Guess what he had? I am getting into the habit of practising positive thinking instead of thinking/expecting negatives. If something 'negative' does crop up, it can be dealt with, it's not the end of the world. I look for the positive in every negative situation. I am becoming more aware of being grateful for little things, things like getting a good car park at work, a warn cosy bed, a tidy house. I feel when i am expressing gratitude I am putting positive thoughts out into the universe and I notice more positives instead of focusing on negatives. Late last week we had internet issues at work and a colleague i found a little annoying. I've been feeling very drained, agitated, negative for a few days. This morning things were not running smoothly for me. A result of my negative mind perhaps? Little things became a big deal, my morning was crap. If i look back, it wasn't really an issue, i just did things in a different order which gave me more relax time this evening. The Law of Attraction, positive thoughts, positive experiences. What are your thoughts? cmf x

moody-_ahhhhh what are some long-term self-care strats?
  • replies: 23

taking breaks and ambient noise doesn't seem to cut it anymore, i need something else because i still feel so moody even with my unproductive hobbies (videos games and youtube)

taking breaks and ambient noise doesn't seem to cut it anymore, i need something else because i still feel so moody even with my unproductive hobbies (videos games and youtube)

amd1953 Beyond the Blue Horizon
  • replies: 3

I sense that I am approaching the blue horizon. Even so, it retreats further away from me as if trying to conceal something important from me. What is there to hide that is worth so much subterfuge? What is it I need to know in this final stage of li... View more

I sense that I am approaching the blue horizon. Even so, it retreats further away from me as if trying to conceal something important from me. What is there to hide that is worth so much subterfuge? What is it I need to know in this final stage of life? Who knows? Who cares? Well, I certainly do. I want to understand everything that comes my way whether it is meant for me or not. Life is short enough without the sensation of feeling cheated and deceived. The challenge is to discover how to cut through the nonsense that cloaks its true meaning. If I were a camel, I would feel at home in the desert. If I were a dromedary, I would, indeed, feel cheated. See Wikipedia for camels/dromedaries. Spoiler alert! A dromedary only has one hump. If I were searching for a new home, I would look to the exoplanets. Cosmologically speaking, a much better place to permanently reside. The moon would be much too close for comfort. I am thinking another galaxy would be great. Certainly within a short drive to the restaurant at the end of the universe for tea and crumpets. Like Albert Camus, I am a rebel without a cause. I choose the absurdist rather than the existentialist philosophy. Everything in this life is engineered towards those with skills, talent and the will to succeed. I have now lost sight of the blue horizon. I am in freefall back to earth where I will lie quietly in the lush meadows and star at the blue sky.amd1953

Sammy Stressed
  • replies: 7

I felt very unloved , alone and unspecial I got divorced from bipolar spouse 10 years ago. We are calm and supportive of each other in terms of being cordial and caring.I had 2 girls who are in 20s now and moved to another country as ex refused treat... View more

I felt very unloved , alone and unspecial I got divorced from bipolar spouse 10 years ago. We are calm and supportive of each other in terms of being cordial and caring.I had 2 girls who are in 20s now and moved to another country as ex refused treatment and was using more alcohol to medicate and was verbally abusive and was accusing me of sleeping with other men etc but I was putting it down to his love for me etc and left when he became physically abusive.I am now 50 dating a man who is 58. We are ok but kind and respectful and it’s going okrecently in a funeral met my ex. We went out for breakfast. He has now married his childhood sweetheart. I was married for nearly 20 years.he said that he wanted to leave me as I was working too much and that’s why he went crazy etc . His new wife is living with him for a year. I feel like 10 years of loneliness has made him come to terms with his illness and maybe he accepts it now and takes treatment and doesn’t drink or he is still denial of his illness and his new wife will take time to find his irrationality. We tried getting help but he declined any treatments saying he is fine and on alcohol overuse he will play up.now I feel guilty and failure if I have done something wrong? Have I been a bad partner , or is the new wife love turned him better …. I had enough of him by 20 years as slowly he got worse and was in total denial.Am I incapable of love and care ?I can be a bit like self care, me first but I am always easy going and chilled person. A girlfriend who was with him for 18 months was a psychologist and she left him saying he was alcoholic and workaholic.I felt he was having mood swings and won’t do anything in the relationship but at the same time he used to be flat mostly but I didn’t mind that as he was helpful. Slowly when he started becoming paranoid and abusive after alcohol it was too much to cope.how is this new wife coping ? She is widowed and had difficult life and hence maybe she will stroke his ego soo much that he might be better ? Or bipolar relationships untreated is always difficult to handle for anyone ? I also have to work on my own flaws like money focused , more self focused but at the same time cares for partner and a friendly partner too.Not sure if I am selfish/ self centred

Paw Prints Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?
  • replies: 1785

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when ... View more

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find. Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim. My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others. A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know. So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better. For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself. Paw Prints **I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

BeyondBlue Beyond Burnout webinar- What's next?
  • replies: 17

Hi everyone, You’re probably here because you want to either prevent or recover from burnout, or you’ve just attended Beyond Burnout. We understand that this topic resonates deeply with many of us. Burnout can affect anyone, and discussing it openly ... View more

Hi everyone, You’re probably here because you want to either prevent or recover from burnout, or you’ve just attended Beyond Burnout. We understand that this topic resonates deeply with many of us. Burnout can affect anyone, and discussing it openly is a powerful step toward healing, prevention, and knowing that you’re not alone. If you’re unsure where to start your conversations about burnout, this is the space for you. Whether you want to share your own experiences, ask questions, or simply connect with others who understand what you're going through, you're in the right place. If you're seeking additional support, here are some resources: Burnout and Mental Health: Including our Burnout Check-In Tool and practical tips on how to stay well at work Personal Stories: Read about people’s experiences with burnout We’ll also use this space to post some of the questions and answers from the webinar discussion. Feel free to dive in and keep the conversation going. Our webinar recording is now available to watch: Beyond Burnout Webinar recording Thank you again for joining us — we’re glad you’re here.

blondguy Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!
  • replies: 4033

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-) I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the las... View more

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-) I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love. Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place? I am in a dark place, how can I love myself? I dont deserve to love myself I am depressed...How can I love myself? I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself? I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I? I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later' When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask. I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome Thankyou so much Paul

quirkywords Is positivity always helpful.?
  • replies: 92

In the last decade there has bee a big emphasis on being positive all the time. I have had a problem with this and now I am reading articles that agree with me that in some instances being over positive can not be appropriate or even helpful. How can... View more

In the last decade there has bee a big emphasis on being positive all the time. I have had a problem with this and now I am reading articles that agree with me that in some instances being over positive can not be appropriate or even helpful. How can positivity be extreme you may ask? Positivity has a time and place, and if ill timed or relied on in an inappropriate situation, positivity has the potential to be dangerous. However it can be harmful to relationships, particularly when a person is struggling and their partner pushes them to “look on the bright side” without listening to what they are feeling. What do you think? So are ok when someone tells you to look at what you have and not to complain? Or do you find when you are telling people how you are feeling that they don’t listen and tell you to be grateful, that you get annoyed. Let me know what you think. Is there a time and place for positivity?

white knight Take a swim of empathy
  • replies: 4

I would guess that many of you are empaths. The Community Champions here are, no doubt and a high percentage of members are also. So what is the advantages and disadvantages of being an empath... and what is it exactly? "Empath" isn't an official psy... View more

I would guess that many of you are empaths. The Community Champions here are, no doubt and a high percentage of members are also. So what is the advantages and disadvantages of being an empath... and what is it exactly? "Empath" isn't an official psychological term, but it's generally defined as a person who is highly attuned to the emotions of others. Empathy is an essential skill for all kinds of relationships. But people with very high levels of it may have a hard time setting boundaries between themselves and others. I think that hits the mark. But metaphorically I would say that I'm living in a bath of empathy where there are no enemies, no danger but the water there that I swim in are made from built up tears over nearly 70 years. The deeper it gets the more at home I feel. If I climb the ladder to mix with others then I'm subjecting myself to dangers. However I like other empaths are really emotionally alone most of the time and we yearn to dive back in, back home, it seems that when life is a blur a translucent vision of beautiful things like birds, dogs cats, wildlife ... all harmless wonderful things, thats where love is. The penalty for being an empath is that your state of mind isnt other peoples problem. "Normal" people are quite happy dealing with each other, emotional - rarely, ready to defend and prepared to attack verbally or worse is part of day to day life. They watch you swim and recall when a loved passed or a pet and quickly they return to sipping their wine or drowning but in beer. Maybe they dont drink so they might take a deep breath and get on with it!. For us empaths we reach the side of the pool and observe the fallen. We get out of out comfort station and built a dam wall to save them slipping into a place they might not return or sit on a log listening or lifting them.. the crowd still mingle and we direct them that way ... they turn and we are gone... submerged. Being an empath is a unbelievable feeling of emotion that take us where few can go, an emotion level that is amazingly sad, amazingly so unbelievable its hard to describe but one thing is certain for many of us... we wouldnt have it any other way. In the words of Stephen Fry "if I was reincarnated I would want my bipolar, I wouldnt know how to live any other way.... TonyWK

Ggrand Small achievement you managed to do today....How did it make you feel? Did it help you feel better today?
  • replies: 518

Hi everyone.. Their are days when just getting out of bed is a huge achievement...Other days we can achieve things like washing up the dishes or clothes, sweeping the floors, mopping the floors..very mundane and automatic robot like chores for the me... View more

Hi everyone.. Their are days when just getting out of bed is a huge achievement...Other days we can achieve things like washing up the dishes or clothes, sweeping the floors, mopping the floors..very mundane and automatic robot like chores for the mentally well...They do these chores without even thinking about them...for people struggling with their mental health..these are huge tasks... Very often I’ll get my vacuum cleaner out to vacuum ...then it will sit their for days, me looking at it, walking over it...until I can get motivated enough to vacuum..after I do find the motivation to vacuum...I am pleased with myself... Right now I have a small foot cycling peddle machine, sitting on my front veranda..I got it out last week..to start exercising..it’s still their, I’m still looking at it...My thoughts each night is I’ll use it for a few minutes tomorrow.. My car hasn’t been washed getting close to a year now I think...Today I did managed to wash it....and discovered that it has a nice shine on it.....I did it...I achieved something positive today..which made me feel better in myself... Have you achieved a little something today...and how did it make you feel...If you want to share that achievement it might make other people a bit more motivated to achieve something they need/want to do.. Looking forward to hearing about your achievement....and how it made you feel.. Little steps and achievements can lead to bigger steps..and bigger achievements... My kindest and most caring thoughts...everyone. Grandy...