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BeyondBlue Tradies National Health Month
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond... View more

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond Blue is hosting a special free webinar for our tradie community on Tuesday 12 August at 4.30pm which you can register for here. We know that Tradies can face unique stressors, with a culture of toughness and difficult job demands that can impact personal time and self-care. It can also be tough for partners and family members who aren’t sure how to support someone in a trade who may be showing signs that their mental health isn’t at its best. If you’re unsure where to start your conversation this is the space for you. Whether you want to share your own experiences, ask questions, or simply connect with others who understand what you're going through, you're in the right place. If you're seeking additional support, here are some resources: Hope Assistance Local Tradies: Home This Is A Conversation Starter: TIACS - This is a Conversation Starter Mates in Construction: MATES - Industry Based Suicide Prevention - MATES Don’t forget - our counsellors are always here for you on 1300 22 46 36. We’ll also use this space to post some of the questions and answers from the webinar discussion. Feel free to dive in and keep the conversation going. Thank you again for joining us — we’re glad you’re here.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Paw Prints Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?
  • replies: 1873

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when ... View more

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find. Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim. My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others. A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know. So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better. For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself. Paw Prints **I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

waffle_puppy I'm finally free.
  • replies: 0

After a long while of being snared in the most toxic "friendship" I've been in for a while, I am finally happy to announce that I am free. It's also been the shortest friendship I've ever had, as this lasted for 9 months. I left him, and I've never f... View more

After a long while of being snared in the most toxic "friendship" I've been in for a while, I am finally happy to announce that I am free. It's also been the shortest friendship I've ever had, as this lasted for 9 months. I left him, and I've never felt so free! He is the "friend" that I've posted about before. He kept me snared in that friendship as he kept baiting me into staying such as telling me he'd die if I left him; however as much as I tried to love him platonically or show him any form of care, it'd always backfire horribly. He's crossed the line recently by comparing skin tones between him and I, and saying things such as "Oh I'm whiter. You matter less." Just because my skin tone is slightly more tan compared to his, or he'd generally hate me because I'm Turkish. He'd constantly mock my English (It's not the best but I'm trying!) and my accent as well to the point where I got fed up and left him. He'd constantly call me "confused" or "crazy" because I settled in on being Bisexual. Even in classes he was a distraction and hazard because he put sawdust on his finger and tried to make me sniff it (In wood tech class) and I ignore his antics usually. Along with this he's also try to twist my arm, which I hated a lot because he wouldn't stop at all. He's even posted about me on Tumblr and tried to paint me as someone who is rude and unkind and kept posting about my blog when I wanted to mind my own business and chill out with my other friends from my old school. But no, it wasn't possible with him. Today, I left him completely and am now on my own; and I have never felt this relaxed and calm before. I focused much better and completed all of my work like usual without any distractions. Now I'm feeling more peaceful in school, however there's one problem; which are the girls who usually bully and harass me to my locker for no reason. I don't even get why? I've never said or done anything to them and they keep spreading rumours such as me spreading personal photos of them all over Snapchat. Mind you, I don't even have it! The only social media I have is Spotify, WhatsApp and YouTube as I want to distance myself away from other platforms. They've also called me "weird" or a "psycho" just because I mind my own business. I'm a quiet person who likes a lot of things, and I don't want to fit the norm; or their norm at all. I like being who I am. I love music from the 60s-70s, trip hop (Such as Massive Attack or Björk) and albums that my dad's introduced me to. They find me weird for being myself. I know this might sound ridiculous but I don't get why they pick on someone who is different, or even looks different. I remember when I got a wolf cut they kept saying "Oh she looks like a damn paintbrush" "Eww" just because I got a minor haircut to grow out a bit (It's currently up to my shoulders and I hope to grow it out more so I can make a ponytail :D) along with this they've even followed or cornered me at my lockers because of the rumours they've spread. I remember when I was simply even drawing in class today, I got hit with a ruler on the back because I'm "stupid and weird" to them. I don't care though, because I'm happy with who I am, and even happier now that I've left my toxic "friend". I'm twice as happy with home life, because my parents love taking me to new places such as Brighton or Lorne (I loved the beaches there so much) and they search for new vinyls and CDs together. My dad's pretty cool as he's introduced me to a lot of albums when I was younger, such as Future Past by Duran Duran which we listen to together in the car, and as for my mom she's amazing because she's introduced me to so many TV shows when I was younger, and even today she still does. I'm happy online as well because I have a few online friends and friends from my old school who I still talk to, and along with all that, I'm grateful for Beyond Blue as well. Thank you to anyone who had replied to my old posts as well, as I appreciate it a lot.

indigo22 The true meaning of Self-Love
  • replies: 2

Hi Everyone, I had a moment of clarity a couple of weeks ago when I asked myself what I would say to my young self if I had the opportunity. The years, experiences and challenges have brought greater wisdom and I feel an urge to share these words wit... View more

Hi Everyone, I had a moment of clarity a couple of weeks ago when I asked myself what I would say to my young self if I had the opportunity. The years, experiences and challenges have brought greater wisdom and I feel an urge to share these words with those who need to hear them. “Love of Self is usually seen as being conceited, being immodest, being self-absorbed, but true Love of Self is none of those things. They are merely the opinions of those who do not yet know how to love themselves. Love of Self is appreciating what you perceive as your ‘good’ qualities and learning to accept and embrace what you perceive as your ‘not so good’ qualities. We all have them, it is part of being human because human beings are not ‘perfect’ and are not meant to be. We are here on a journey of learning from our experiences, both positive and negative, to become a being with greater wisdom than when we began the journey. You are as unique as your own fingerprint, there is not another person on the planet who is exactly like you. Therefore, it is pointless comparing yourself with others, you can no more be like them, than they can be like you. You are here to share your uniqueness with the world from a place of authenticity. You are here to fill a space that no-one else can fill. You are here to do what your heart calls you to do. To put it all in a nutshell, be as kind, caring and compassionate to yourself as you are to others. Live your life as you choose to live it, regardless of the opinions of others. Love does not come from outside of you, it comes from within of you. When you have truly learned to love yourself, you will no longer look for love and validation externally because you have everything you need inside of you. At that point, you will attract people into your life who have also learned how to love themselves, people who will love you for who you are and not try to change you in any way. That sense of peace is a goal well worth striving for.” I only wish that someone had said these words to me when I was young, I might not have wandered through life feeling so lost, but it’s never too late to begin.indigo

Guest_34375400 why does this feeling never go away?
  • replies: 1

ive always been different and felt different. at the end of each day, lying in bed, i think about who i am, how i feel, and how it seems that no one in my life feels the things that i feel, and then i cry. i have done this since i was little. i am so... View more

ive always been different and felt different. at the end of each day, lying in bed, i think about who i am, how i feel, and how it seems that no one in my life feels the things that i feel, and then i cry. i have done this since i was little. i am so sad all the time. everything i feel hurts. i’ve never posted on any kind of forum before or asked for help or advice in this way - i just don’t know what to do anymore. i’ve cried consistently every day for the last 5 years. my heartache never ceases. sometimes i have good days, but when it’s just me, especially when im in my bed at night, and im left alone with myself, i think, i get overwhelmed and i cry. my mind won’t stop unraveling and questioning and replaying everything. i get stuck. ive tried almost everything. i’ve tried medicine, meditation, therapy, routines, teas, baths, candles, new friends, old friends, exercise, diets, hurting myself, not hurting myself, travel, sleeping, talking and not talking. i think that this is just who i am. and i hate who i am. i don’t know much about anyone else, but this is not what living is. my misery has taken up so much of my life. ive only just turned 18 and i cant imagine a future where i keep having to be like this every day and for forever. especially now in year 12, my life will just get harder and more challenging, and things will change and keep changing but i won’t. i’ll stay like this forever. does it ever go away? i can’t be stuck with myself like this forever.

Saffi Menopause 🙄
  • replies: 2

Post menopausal 5 years now. Has anyone else’s marriage reached breaking point during this time? Don’t know who I am anymore, and don’t like who I’ve become with the husband in the last few years. No interest in an intimate relationship anymore, and ... View more

Post menopausal 5 years now. Has anyone else’s marriage reached breaking point during this time? Don’t know who I am anymore, and don’t like who I’ve become with the husband in the last few years. No interest in an intimate relationship anymore, and just can’t deal with his total oblivion to everything. Definitely goes hand in hand, but so over talking to myself. Even a toddler could give more consistency.

moody-_ahhhhh what are some long-term self-care strats?
  • replies: 27

taking breaks and ambient noise doesn't seem to cut it anymore, i need something else because i still feel so moody even with my unproductive hobbies (videos games and youtube)

taking breaks and ambient noise doesn't seem to cut it anymore, i need something else because i still feel so moody even with my unproductive hobbies (videos games and youtube)

white knight The Shangri-La of living with mental health
  • replies: 2

Through my own lived experiences and those of members here and community champions, I've landed in a place that is "manageable in terms of my mental health. On most days that is, we learn that our inground issues never go away but overall I'm in a go... View more

Through my own lived experiences and those of members here and community champions, I've landed in a place that is "manageable in terms of my mental health. On most days that is, we learn that our inground issues never go away but overall I'm in a good space. So what are the key components of that happiness especially the mandatory ones that should be implemented? People management. If we lived in a wold where you were the only living human then your issues would reduce quickly. This is because the world is made up of humans that can be destructive, cruel, over reactive, manipulative, criminal, narcissistic and many other abrasive things that should lead you to create and enforce boundaries. Implementing them can crate more issues with these people but it is a last resort and a self protection mechanism that becomes essential. Without these rules you are lacking self care.Embracing people. When you identify a kind soul that is considerate, empathetic, lacking obligation and non pressured in personality then you can assist your growth by keeping them in your life and that forms a feeling of securityOngoing treatment. It's ok to get to a place like I'm at now and allow treatment to slip away (I'm also 69yo). If your life is under your control including feelings, reactions and you are stable then you're ok. A good gauge is twofold- that people around you are happy and content with your behaviour and your life no longer has a flip flop of regular bad day that leads to adverse actions like self harm and suicidal thoughts. That is when you return to the treatment to set you straight.Fill your life up. Many sufferers have a lot of time on their hands so distractions like a passion and hobbies can be a preventative measure. Passions are rarely crated, they come naturally but hobbies can be picked up. Sport is another interest that can helpSleep. Sounds sleep is underestimated to your mental health. If you snore or a partner told you that you stop breathing for periods of time while asleep then a sleep study is essential - see your GP. I've had 3 and on the 3rd study I was advised to wear a CPAP breathing apparatus at night. It has transformed my alertness during the day and has been pivotal to lowering moodEnvironment. Advantages of a country town are a slower pace lifestyle, less condensity of traffic, shops and people, less crime, friendlier people. Just make sure a town has over 3000 people and less than 8000.Thoughts?TonyWK

Manish Hi Guys
  • replies: 3

Hi Guys, I an in Australia since last 6 years, but lonely Need someone to talk to

Hi Guys, I an in Australia since last 6 years, but lonely Need someone to talk to

CMF Meditation, Manifesting, Gratitude & The Law of Attraction
  • replies: 736

Hi everyone, Not sure where to start so hope I can express myself clearly and maybe with others' input we can expand on this. I'm interested in people's thoughts/ experience with meditation, manifesting, gratitude & the law of attraction. I've recent... View more

Hi everyone, Not sure where to start so hope I can express myself clearly and maybe with others' input we can expand on this. I'm interested in people's thoughts/ experience with meditation, manifesting, gratitude & the law of attraction. I've recently started using the Smiling Mind app to meditate when going to sleep and sometimes when feeling a little anxious, like tonight. It is something i thought i could never do as my mind rarely stops, however, with persistence, I find I enjoy it. I guess i tend to have a negative mindset which I am determined to change.I always felt uneasy about thinking positive things as i thought i would jinx myself, and that whenever I made a positive comment or felt happy it would go wrong or something negative would happen. So i refrained from allowing myself to be too happy, I guess to 'protect' myself. Recently i have been feeling happier, stronger, expressing gratitude and taking note of when things have come to me when i needed them. Coincidence, or answers to what i put out to the Universe? I like to think the latter. A work colleague one day told me to manifest something i wanted, put it out to the universe , so I'm trying. Example, recently we needed to measure the floor space at reception so we could calculate how many people we could have in at one time. I needed a tape measure, which i did not have. At that moment our handyman walked into the office. Guess what he had? I am getting into the habit of practising positive thinking instead of thinking/expecting negatives. If something 'negative' does crop up, it can be dealt with, it's not the end of the world. I look for the positive in every negative situation. I am becoming more aware of being grateful for little things, things like getting a good car park at work, a warn cosy bed, a tidy house. I feel when i am expressing gratitude I am putting positive thoughts out into the universe and I notice more positives instead of focusing on negatives. Late last week we had internet issues at work and a colleague i found a little annoying. I've been feeling very drained, agitated, negative for a few days. This morning things were not running smoothly for me. A result of my negative mind perhaps? Little things became a big deal, my morning was crap. If i look back, it wasn't really an issue, i just did things in a different order which gave me more relax time this evening. The Law of Attraction, positive thoughts, positive experiences. What are your thoughts? cmf x

BellaZlone Long time sober
  • replies: 2

hi I’ve been sober 5 years off drugs. I’ve more than ever lately been feeling tempted back to drugs as a coping mechanism. Last 6 months or so.. last week my family dog was put down. This week a close family friend whom I used to use with has come to... View more

hi I’ve been sober 5 years off drugs. I’ve more than ever lately been feeling tempted back to drugs as a coping mechanism. Last 6 months or so.. last week my family dog was put down. This week a close family friend whom I used to use with has come to be very unwell with cancer and in hospital. I can’t help but want to use lately this has been a push towards those feelings. I’ve been in a relationship for the past 4 years. Sober the whole time. I feel judged by him for my previous addiction. Can’t talk to him about my feelings of wanting to return to drugs. He was in a car accident 2 years ago and has drugs in his sock drawer leftover. I’m writing this instead of trying to distract him while I steal a few… I haven’t felt so tempted in my life. I need to stay sober. I’m finally in a place where I have a hope of a career and a future. I could ruin it with one decision. How bad could it be if I did? I could push away everyone then it wouldn’t affect anyone but me. I know awful but who would really care. I know a few. I need mostly to just vent but then again maybe some reassurance that this is normal after so many years sober. I can still get through it right? I feel I can only be resolved by using but I know that’s not true…