Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Paw Prints Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?
  • replies: 760

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when ... View more

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find. Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim. My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others. A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know. So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better. For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself. Paw Prints **I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

Indy3 Creating a Safe Space in the Home Environment
  • replies: 1

Risk Containment/Stabilisation My dog and I live in a self-contained granny flat on my parents' property. I am currently unemployed (partly due to recent panic attacks) and do not have the financial means to seek other accommodation at this point in ... View more

Risk Containment/Stabilisation My dog and I live in a self-contained granny flat on my parents' property. I am currently unemployed (partly due to recent panic attacks) and do not have the financial means to seek other accommodation at this point in time. I would appreciate any tips on how to create a safe space for myself at home when my dad is a trigger for me and he works in his shed during the week, which is situated directly next to my flat. Some suggestions my psychologist provided:*lock my back door/place heavy object behind door (so I don't have to worry about dad 'popping in' unannounced) - I don't have a lock so suggestions how I can achieve this?*curtains on glass doors for privacy - suggestions how I can DIY this with velcro etc.?*staying at my in-laws a couple nights per week (to give me reprieve from heightened anxiety at home)*predictability in routine (e.g. scheduling times of day when mum comes into my flat)*alternative parking options (so I don't have to walk past dad to reach my car)*TV on/music for background noise (so I don't have to hear dad working outside my flat).*Lighting a candle Thank you

Ggrand Small achievement you managed to do today....How did it make you feel? Did it help you feel better today?
  • replies: 393

Hi everyone.. Their are days when just getting out of bed is a huge achievement...Other days we can achieve things like washing up the dishes or clothes, sweeping the floors, mopping the floors..very mundane and automatic robot like chores for the me... View more

Hi everyone.. Their are days when just getting out of bed is a huge achievement...Other days we can achieve things like washing up the dishes or clothes, sweeping the floors, mopping the floors..very mundane and automatic robot like chores for the mentally well...They do these chores without even thinking about them...for people struggling with their mental health..these are huge tasks... Very often I’ll get my vacuum cleaner out to vacuum ...then it will sit their for days, me looking at it, walking over it...until I can get motivated enough to vacuum..after I do find the motivation to vacuum...I am pleased with myself... Right now I have a small foot cycling peddle machine, sitting on my front veranda..I got it out last week..to start exercising..it’s still their, I’m still looking at it...My thoughts each night is I’ll use it for a few minutes tomorrow.. My car hasn’t been washed getting close to a year now I think...Today I did managed to wash it....and discovered that it has a nice shine on it.....I did it...I achieved something positive today..which made me feel better in myself... Have you achieved a little something today...and how did it make you feel...If you want to share that achievement it might make other people a bit more motivated to achieve something they need/want to do.. Looking forward to hearing about your achievement....and how it made you feel.. Little steps and achievements can lead to bigger steps..and bigger achievements... My kindest and most caring thoughts...everyone. Grandy...

quirkywords Be Yourself but who am I?
  • replies: 1842

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be... View more

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on. I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change? The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more. Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions. I will limit myself to two questions . Can you be yourself without changing? Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself? Quirky

Guest_1055 Walking Shoes - Walking and Other Exercise
  • replies: 4366

Hey to anyone reading this. Last night I had an idea about starting a new thread about exercise especially walking. I am aware that walking is very beneficial for our mental, emotional and physical well being. And by actually doing it....well it can ... View more

Hey to anyone reading this. Last night I had an idea about starting a new thread about exercise especially walking. I am aware that walking is very beneficial for our mental, emotional and physical well being. And by actually doing it....well it can make a huge difference to how we cope with the storms that we face in life. OK, I am not real good at disciplining myself to walk, and have to really push myself to do it. And sometimes it is even hard to leave this bedroom. Anyway I am not a beginner walker, as I have stuck to sort of a plan before. So I know that it does make me feel somewhat better. But I only stayed on the plan for a couple of months, then gave up.....for whatever reason. So here I am again wanting desperately to not fail this time. So I guess this thread is for anyone that does walk, anyone that is struggling to walk because of depression or anxiety issues. And anyone else really...... I am unsure of the outcome of all this. But my ideas included: Sharing about things we have found out about exercise especially about walking. Writing down the reasons that one would chose to walk ( like something to help motivate). Being accountable in same way. Sharing about the places where we actually do walk, like the beach, gym, around the block, with the dog, out to the clothesline and back. And any other useful tips that could help others. So here we go......

quirkywords Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed?
  • replies: 796

Do you have an inner critic ? Have you ever tried to talk to your inner critic. This is what happened when I tried. In my Be yourself thread people asked about how I interviewed my inner critic. So here it is. This is adapted from a writing exercise ... View more

Do you have an inner critic ? Have you ever tried to talk to your inner critic. This is what happened when I tried. In my Be yourself thread people asked about how I interviewed my inner critic. So here it is. This is adapted from a writing exercise to interview your inner critic about one's writing. As my inner critic has an opinion all aspects of my life I decided to broaden the scope of the interview. Me: I welcome (well I don't really) this opportunity to find out why you always need to have an opinion that is always negative about me and my life. IC: I thought this was going to be a friendly interchange of ideas but there you go with your anger and hostile remarks. I do not see myself as negative but as helping you, because you do need help. I am here to help you why can't you see that? Me: So when I am trying to sleep and you tell me about all my mistakes, embarrassing moments, how does that help me? IC: I thought while you are in bed you would have time to consider some of your past behaviours. This I feel will only help you to improve. Me: If you are so helpful why do I feel so worthless, so sad, so ignorant when you are around? Do you really know how low I can feel when you are constantly telling me all my faults? IC: You make yourself feel that way- I am merely pointing out the truth. It is not my problem that you are so weak. Me: Maybe this was a bad idea you are never going to listen to me or understand me. IC: Have you ever thought that maybe you shouldn't listen to me if I upset you so much. Me How can I ignore you when you are so loud at times. IC: See this is what I mean you are so weak. You have the power to ignore me, to silence me but all you do is whinge and complain. Me: I am ending this interview. Enough is enough. What would you say to your inner critic and what do you want to hear from your inner critic? Maybe you can have a go at interviewing your inner critic. Quirky

blondguy Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!
  • replies: 3976

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-) I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the las... View more

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-) I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love. Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place? I am in a dark place, how can I love myself? I dont deserve to love myself I am depressed...How can I love myself? I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself? I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I? I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later' When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask. I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome Thankyou so much Paul

ARV 8 years on SSRI, symptoms 3 months after a 4 month tapering to cease meds
  • replies: 4

Hi, I'm new to this Forum and looking for suggestions. I'm sure there are others out there like me. I have been on a dose/day SSRI for approx. 8 years. This year I decided that the increasing brain fog and sleepiness was not a good indication of the ... View more

Hi, I'm new to this Forum and looking for suggestions. I'm sure there are others out there like me. I have been on a dose/day SSRI for approx. 8 years. This year I decided that the increasing brain fog and sleepiness was not a good indication of the health of my brain. So, I started tapering off very slowly until after 4 months I was not taking any. I've had symptoms like hot flushes, sweats & body tingling. These symptoms have largely gone now 3 months after my last dose. I feel fit & healthy, brain feels sharp and sleep is back to 'normal'. I'm exercising more, practicing mindfulness and generally in a good place. BUT, I'm finding myself increasing teary, find it difficult to shift these responses to personal interactions and life, as well as enjoying things less. Has anyone else come through this stage of withdrawal months down the track? Please share what helped? Thanks

Fly-Away-Blue-Bird Depression and Christianity
  • replies: 46

Hi all I am new here and it has taken me a while to stop and admit that I have depression. It has taken a while because depression comes in many forms and I would go undetected most of the time because I appear happy on the outside but my mind plague... View more

Hi all I am new here and it has taken me a while to stop and admit that I have depression. It has taken a while because depression comes in many forms and I would go undetected most of the time because I appear happy on the outside but my mind plagues me each day. It scares me to talk about this because it means that the abuse of the past still has a hold on me and that just makes me mad! Now I am going to share with you about my religion but I don't want this thread to be about tearing it apart, because that would make me even more depressed!! I am a Christian and I have been for 13 years now. I have been healed from many things of my past but other things remain. I think being a Christian has made it harder for me to admit and to talk to others about my depression because the stereotype I get is that Christians should be happy.. I know that when I go to church everyone is smiling and it is difficult to imagine that anyone but me could feel so sad, so lonely and so different from anyone else. I don't even share on Facebook what I am going through because when I see another friends write something about depression all I see is the typical Christian answers of "Go to God, you can overcome this through him, You will be alright keep smiling, what have you got to be depressed for Christ took it for you, etc etc." Those answers come from people who just don't understand! So here I am, opening up to strangers.. Please be kind

mimikkyu anxiety
  • replies: 2

recently ive been feeling really down. its been going on for months now, and ive experienced increasing anxiety as the days go on. its interfering with my life, and making it difficult for me to cope. i try and distract myself, and hope that it will ... View more

recently ive been feeling really down. its been going on for months now, and ive experienced increasing anxiety as the days go on. its interfering with my life, and making it difficult for me to cope. i try and distract myself, and hope that it will be over one day, but right now i feel as if there will be no end. my anxiety constantly makes me feel hopeless, making me short of breath and sometimes cause panic attacks. because of this, it makes me feel as if im going to die, which only makes it worse because i dont want to die. i dont want to keep experiencing this, but its so hard for me to ignore it and breathe. its horrible. how can i deal with this? my therapist has suggested sessions once a week, but until then does anyone have any suggestions? this is my first time experiencing any sort of severe anxiety.