What am i?

[Lyf_is_hard]

So im really confused. I'm 15 and male and have been confused about my sexuality for around a year now. I go through periods were i will have primaraly gay thoughts but then a period where i have primaraly straight thoughts. I am not physically attracted to men and never really have been. I dont naturally find them atttactive and always naturally find girls attractive. I would never consider a relationship with a guy. I definetly would be inteterested in a relationship both sexually and romantically with a girl. The issue comes with sexual attraction. Althoigh i dont find men physically appealing i have sexual thoughts about men. I have stronger sexual feelings towards girls. But this small lingering sexual desiers for men that i get occasionally is really confusing me. I need help because this is all i think about and its causing me heaps of anxiety and depreasion.

[blondguy]

Hello Lyf_is_hard

Thankyou for having the courage to post with on the forums! Being 15 is a tough age with the hormones working overtime which is the same position I was in at 15 too.

You have spoken from the heart. At 15 I had no idea how to deal with similar thoughts. Having small lingering desires for men is common and understandable. I started work at a major fashion retailer when I was 17 with openly gay managers and they were seriously great to work for.

It is not unusual to have thoughts about being with someone of the same sex Lyf. The forums have many caring people that can be here for you. I understand the tough time you are going through especially when our hormones are changing direction in this difficult age

I am sorry that you are experiencing anxiety/depression with these common thoughts....If this gets to a stage where your day to day well being is effected...there are super gentle qualified people on the Beyond Blue support line 24/7 1300 22 4636 who can help out too!

You are not alone Lyf....You are one of many that has the same thoughts when we are trying to find our way

I hope you can stick around the forums and post back when its convenient for you

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Lyf_is_hard]

Thanks for your comment. I wasnt aware that this is a common thing. I thought it was only something people who will actually be gay have. Like i said its only extremely temporary when these thoughts happen. I may only have gay thoughts for a day or two and exclusively straight thoughts for months. Because of this i dont think i will be gay. I just dont think its reasonable to assume that when my attraction to men is so little and is so infrequent.

[marcus_c]

Hi Lyf_is_hard, I am gay and can remember being similarly confused when I was a teenager, but in the opposite direction to you.

Something to bear in mind about the stage of life you're in now, given the question you asked in your title 'what am I'...when you're a teenager, there are a whole heap of hormones being switched on that literally change everything: the way you think, the way your body looks, even your emotional reactions to things. It's a little bit like turning on a light when you've been in a dark room, it can be overwhelming and takes some time for your eyes to adjust - only it unfortunately goes on for a few years instead!

Try your best not to be too judgmental of your thoughts and feelings, they are what they are, and you'll eventually work out what they mean for you. They are just a part of you, are neither good or bad, and don't compel you into making any choices or decisions. That can be a helpful thing to remember for all of your thoughts and feelings, not just about this issue.