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Pan? Bi? Enby? Genderfluid? Which term for me?

Community Member

Hello everybody! I am Fandom_Royalty and i'm kind of new here but I would like to ask for your help and to see if any other amazing people out their can relate.

So where to start. I was born female, that I know, and for just over a year now I have known that I am Pansexual and am attracted to people regardless of what gender they identify as, but for a little while now I have struggled with my gender and how that relates to me. It is very hard to put into words but I feel as if my gender and how I perceive it is constantly fluid. I also feel as if my gender at times belongs outside the gender binary of male and female. But I don't know where I stand or the best word to describe me. I recognise that at some times I feel comfortable with the gender I was assigned at birth but at other times it doesn't feel right. I have tried using words and terms to describe me, like Gender-fluid and Non-binary but I am still not sure. When I think of myself, those words make sense but I feel as if I can't see or hear those words being used in my life. It may be because I am not out to close family and I am only out to a few close friends, but I don't know if my family will ever call me by my true name or my real pronouns because they will never see me like that. Right now, to the friends who know and understand, I am going by River and non-binary (they/them and she/her pronouns), and I am taking it day by day.

Thanks to whoever got to the end of this and I that you all have an amazing day/evening/night and that you all know how beautiful/handsome and brave you all are. 💛💛💛

2 Replies 2

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hey Fandom_Royalty,

I can relate! Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story. This is a very thoughtful query. I think it's great that you are curious about yourself and your identity and have been able to share that with some friends, I know sharing with family can be a lot more difficult though, and scary. Speaking from my experience things do get better although remember that progress is not always linear. Sometimes it's two steps forward and one step back (or maybe a few steps to the right, and then a little spin around on the spot, and then a step forward, and then a step to the left! lol)

Here are some things that have helped me:
1. Over the phone call to my GP, you could be eligible for some free counselling sessions and may be able to discuss this in more detail with a health professional e.g. weighing up the pro's and con's of coming out to your fam.

2. Finding the "right fit" therapist is super important! I had a few decent therapists but the one i'm with now is just so easy to talk to and share things with, i'm so glad I kept trying until I found someone who I felt 'got' it / me and who I gelled with more.

3. https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/resources-support/digital-tools-apps/mycompass/ cool online program with lots of resources.

I hope this helps. Thanks for the super kind words at the end there too! Hope you're having a great weekend 🙂

Community Member
i am a small enby potato, i understand what your going through. dont force it, just try and take slow. sorry this is short im at school lmao. but just take it at your own pace