Confused and anxious about my gender identity
What an interesting story you have to share, I can see how this would cause so much confusion for you and obviously any decisions you make are ones that have to be thought through 100%, I don't think anyone on here can tell you what you should do nor do I think anyone would. I feel you wanted to write this to get it off your chest as you said, do you feel somewhat better typing it out?
Have you ever spoken to a GP or a psychologist about how you are feeling, especially since you have depression and anxiety? I am sure there would be psychologist who would of dealt with this in the past. I am sorry I am not much help on this, I just wanted to reply to offer my support.
Please, post back as much as you like, I am always happy to talk.
My best for you,
I do feel better just saying all of this. I have spoken to my GP and my psychologist about this and they are both trying to support me, but I live in a rural area and neither of them are particularly knowing when it comes to gender stuff. Sometimes i feel like i know more about it than my psych does. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. My psych actually gave me the link to these forums so i could talk to people who have experience with these kinds of issues. I guess i did feel the need to just say all of this because while my family is supportive, some of my siblings and my dad tend to put their foot in their mouth pretty badly. It makes for some awkward conversations. I also haven't gotten to talk to my psych recently because she's on leave right now and will be for at least five more months. Thank you for listening and for offering your support because it does help knowing that people want to help.
Thanks for the support,
I'm not going to be much help as I don't really have advice but wanted to check in here.
I'm an older female and I've been married twice and have 5 kids...so not really a gender issue.
I've never been happy with myself but instead of wanting to lose weight and wear pretty dresses all I wanted to do was lift weights and bulk up. I hate working inside (vacuuming, washing etc) and love being out the yard with the mower and power tools. Most of my jobs have been in construction and the harder/heavier the better.
I know this doesn't help you much. Just wanted to say 'wait'. You have plenty of time. Sometimes a "middle" can be found. I am happy being a female as long as I can still work out and load trucks and outdo most of the men.
I guess you might understand what I'm saying, even though others might not. Hope I'm not just confusing you more...
Hi Sad Mushroom,
Thanks for the kind words, it helps to know that even if i don't have it figured out now i can still be happy and just figure it out later in life. I hadn't really thought about that to be honest. I kind of felt like there was some kind of deadline i had to meet. Like i needed to figure it out now or i never would.
Thanks for the extra perspective on this issue,
Hi Soup, talk about a relatable topic. Everything you mentioned eerily related to what I'm feeling right now, albeit I'm not questioning male->female but the other way around. I know you are still thinking about it but have you considered nonbinary? It's an umbrella term for gender identities that aren't strictly male/female. You mention questioning if you are trans a lot but considering that gender dysphoria is a pretty central aspect of wanting to transition in the first place nonbinary may be more accurate ? It's up to you though. I suggest looking up agender, bigender and gender fluid. These terms sound more similar to what you are experiencing especially since gender dysphoria is not a 'necessary' aspect of identifying as nonbinary.
I know these feelings are really confusing but you don't /need/ to transition all the way to female just because you feel like this, you know. Some people have gone halfway with hormone treatment, or use a temporary daily routine that coincides with what gender they are... there's all kinds of stuff out there. Of course it's all up to you, I can only offer what information I know so please take this with a grain of salt and try following what you feel is best for you.
Best of luck and I hope you find your answer soon.
Spl you use big words I have
I do NOT want to be a male, I just feel more comfortable working out, building muscles and dressing in shorts, singlets and steel caps.