Combination of lesbian & Aspergers

[Guest_9872]

I am 43 and have recently been diagnosed with what is now called autism level 1 and used to be called Aspergers, which is still my preferred name for it. I am also a lesbian. And I am an ultra introvert (ISTJ in the Myers Briggs classifications), not good at meeting new people in social situations. I feel very isolated because I have not been able to find a girlfriend or even establish friendships with other lesbians. I made a genuine effort when I was in my 20s and then gave up for about 15 years. I didn't know I had Aspergers, which has been a big factor. I now want to make another genuine effort, with the benefit of life experience in general and knowing I have Aspergers specifically. I have chosen to reach out to a gay & lesbian affirming church and directly ask to be introduced to another lesbian around my age who can be my friend and help a bit with meeting people. I just need to feel like I am included in the lesbian world. People say I am attractive; and I am intelligent; and I think I am a reasonable person. I do not have any physical disabilities including the sensory issues sometimes associated with Aspergers - I am just an eccentric introvert who can be hyper-focused on special interests (currently environmental issues). I hope that I will be able to find someone to help me, either through the church or some other context.

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome to beyond blue.

one of the things I have spoken about with my psych is kintsugi. One of the feature of this art is that the objects when put back together are unique - like no other object. If the world were full of people that were all the same it would be quite boring? The things that make you, you, are also your qualities. That you have also chosen to reach out to a gay & lesbian affirming church is also a positive step. I hope you will get to meet someone. Everyone deserves to feel as though they belong (somewhere).

I am unsure what you are looking for exactly on the forum, but if you are looking for someone to chat with occasionally.... I am here.

Tim

[Guest_9872]

Thanks Tim. I am going through a process of understanding my psychology and how I belong in the world. I have been thinking about it in detail for about 5 weeks, including obtaining the autism diagnosis. I have the occasional fear of being too different to appeal to people, which caused me to put up this post, but I am doing some reading and I can see the positive side of my identity. Greta Thunberg is a good example of a person with Aspergers. I think things are going to work out for me.

[Guest_9872]

I found a local counsellor who specialises in gay and lesbian issues. I need support because of my high level of introversion, social anxiety and isolation from the lgbt community. I think this counsellor will be ideal.

[smallwolf]

that was one thing I did... lookup famous people who had problems like me.

[smallwolf]

good to hear that you were able to find someone to speak with. I am sure with their assistance you will be able to find ways to deal with the issues. Feel free to come back and let us know how you are getting on.