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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 219

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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red-head Trans
  • replies: 6

I'm fairly new to the forum. I thought I better share my pronouns and a bit of me so I don't get annoyed when people call me she, darling, hon, etc. Im FtM and proud of who I am. I use he /him pronouns. Ive been on hormone treatment nearly 3 months. ... View more

I'm fairly new to the forum. I thought I better share my pronouns and a bit of me so I don't get annoyed when people call me she, darling, hon, etc. Im FtM and proud of who I am. I use he /him pronouns. Ive been on hormone treatment nearly 3 months. I fought for for over 2 years to get it - they wouldn't allow it because of my mental health issues which really sucked but I have it now which is the main thing.

w193 Partner travels alone and visits gay clubs
  • replies: 2

Hey all! Hope you had a great NY. Looking for some advice and thoughts around this topic as I’ve been bottling it up and growing frustrated by it and I don’t want it to affect my relationship. My partner and I have been together for close to a year a... View more

Hey all! Hope you had a great NY. Looking for some advice and thoughts around this topic as I’ve been bottling it up and growing frustrated by it and I don’t want it to affect my relationship. My partner and I have been together for close to a year and it’s been great. We both get along very well and have a healthy lifestyle together. However he does tend to like to do solo international trips every now and then, sometimes for a few weeks, which is great for him despite it being very different to my style of travelling. What is getting to me a bit is that he tends to go quite hard overseas re partying (nothing excessive) and whilst I trust him of course, something just discomforts me a fair bit with him going to a gay club on his own to meet people and party. A lot of it is also just lack of understanding of why he wants to as I’d rarely travel alone without friends, family etc. What are your thoughts? Just not sure how to handle it as it makes me uncomfortable even though nothing has gone wrong in the past. thanks!

Emily1963 Responding to on-line negativity
  • replies: 3

I know the anguish that can be caused by people being negative on line to trans people. One of their favourite methods is to state that trans people are just mentally sick or similar. Now, I am not going to advocate that you engage with such people i... View more

I know the anguish that can be caused by people being negative on line to trans people. One of their favourite methods is to state that trans people are just mentally sick or similar. Now, I am not going to advocate that you engage with such people in an online debate. They generally know what triggers you and will use their knowledge to cause you hurt. However, I thought I would put here the response I use to reply to such people. The example is a real example from a post I made about additional laws to protect trans people from discrimination. The objective of my method is to make me feel better within myself, and hopefully cause them to reflect on their comment/ideas and choose to change. One rule though I use when using this response – I never go back to view any comments to my original response. Their Comment That’s right let's keep feeding this mental disorder, I'm sure that it'll end well for these morons. My Response Mental disorder? Really? I am well educated and I work full-time in a senior management role. Like non-trans women, as a transwoman, I have to work hard and long hours to continually prove myself as being of value to the organisation. I pay my fair share of taxes and manage my personal budget, so I can buy groceries, pay bills, pay for my HRT, and save some money. I managed to do all this in an environment where I face pervasive discrimination on a daily basis in many areas of my life, including work, health, housing, education, and socially. Metal health issues. You bet I must continuously look after my mental health. It is a well-researched and known fact that transgender people tend to experience higher rates of mental health issues than the non-trans population. Although this is well known in the general population, what is not so well known, or deliberately ignored, is what underlies the astonishingly elevated rate of mental health issues for transgender people. I’m going to assume that you are not aware of the cause and explain to you the reasons. First and foremost, it is not because we are transgender. Our mental health suffers because of the discrimination, stigma, lack of acceptance, and abuse we face on an unfortunately regular basis. Now that you know the reasons behind our poorer mental health, you have an opportunity to change. You have a choice. You can deliberately ignore the facts explained above, or you can advocate that transgender people be protected from pervasive discrimination.

tresure asexual?
  • replies: 2

hi, so i have been struggling with mental disorders for my entire life. I've always thought that there is deffenitly something wrong with me, turns out i have social anxiety disorder. First i started getting weird and anxious about sex at about 12, i... View more

hi, so i have been struggling with mental disorders for my entire life. I've always thought that there is deffenitly something wrong with me, turns out i have social anxiety disorder. First i started getting weird and anxious about sex at about 12, i was considered very pretty, and back then to me pretty girls were wanted by the guys and thats what happens that was the meaning i gave boyfriend and girlfriend, if she is pretty and the guy likes her then they are boyfriend and girlfriend. but i didn't like boys that way yet but lord knew i wanted to like them, i wanted nothing more to be like all the other girls developing crushes and wanting to kiss the boys blah blah. but because i got a lot of attention from guys i thought that thats what I had to do to keep the friends that i had and not become an outcast at school so i pretending that i likes boys and that "he was cute" "he's so hot" banter and pretended that i liked kissing. anyway i have been with many guys in my life time, and haven't enjoy not one, i can't feel pleasure. i want to, of course but i can't. again i couldn't tell anyone because of my fear or being different and i was afraid somethings wrong with me. i got strong anxiety when sex scene came on tv screens with friends, naked/procative women made me very uncomfortable i don't know why. i always wanted to have a boyfriend, when i was young me and my sister would play this game we made up called boyfriend and girlfriend, where we would pretend to have a boyfriend. so we had imaginary boyfriends.... anyway I'm 24 now and I'm still sexually active but hate it and still feel like there is something wrong with me and HELP....

Even_heroes_all Married confused and bisexual
  • replies: 2

I am a happily married man to the woman of my dreams, she is supportive but I am unsure. I have told my wife I think I am bisexual, she is very supportive and we have even had a threesome with another guy to see if it's my thing. I loved it by the wa... View more

I am a happily married man to the woman of my dreams, she is supportive but I am unsure. I have told my wife I think I am bisexual, she is very supportive and we have even had a threesome with another guy to see if it's my thing. I loved it by the way. It has been almost 12mths since our little experiment and we haven't done anything else like it since. She keeps making jokes about me being gay in front of her family and making me uncomfortable about it all as I am very private about it and she is the only one o have told ever but she goes on to the point I start hating myself for it and pull away from her, treat her differently and it starts to course agruements because of the way I feel. I have asked her to stop doing it over and over again with no change. I think about the threesome all the time and recently started really wanting a same sex encounter again. But how can I trust her to not belittle me about it when she says she is supportive and happy for me to do so. I dont want to feel trapped as I love my wife and are very attracted to her still and want my marriage to work and last forever. But how can I move forward without losing her or myself Thanks in advance

Guest_829 asexuality
  • replies: 8

Wondering if anyone out theres struggling with thoughts that they may be asexual, and would like to talk about any problems they are experiencing with it . I'm no expert and can only speak from personal experience, so if anyone is having a problem wi... View more

Wondering if anyone out theres struggling with thoughts that they may be asexual, and would like to talk about any problems they are experiencing with it . I'm no expert and can only speak from personal experience, so if anyone is having a problem with their asexuality I'll be more than glad to help you, as best I can

N1 Sex girl on girl after getting drunk
  • replies: 6

I was really drunk and ended up having sex with a girl who was also drunk. I told her in multiple ways that I was feeling really excited and want to leave the room.. But she was adamant that I should stay and she was behaving as if she was luring me ... View more

I was really drunk and ended up having sex with a girl who was also drunk. I told her in multiple ways that I was feeling really excited and want to leave the room.. But she was adamant that I should stay and she was behaving as if she was luring me in. She was saying things like she is feeling hot and would love to sleep with her clothes off. This was months back and then we never spoke to each other again. But she is now outing me saying I am a lesbian and stuff to other people around me....well...which I am not...and evwn thinking about that day makes me sick to my core....no offence to anyone...but I dont know how to get through this. I tried speaking to her, but she is behaving as if I gave her no choice.....or I am not even supposed to say her name and such.I dont know what to do...I dont want anyone listening to this story of shame.....I'd rather die.

Wildflower123 Bisexual or gay?
  • replies: 2

I’m 23 and until a few months ago had only been sexually attracted to guys. However, whenever I would sleep with a guy I liked I wouldn’t have any feelings or attraction to them afterwards and I always thought it was just because it wasn’t meant to b... View more

I’m 23 and until a few months ago had only been sexually attracted to guys. However, whenever I would sleep with a guy I liked I wouldn’t have any feelings or attraction to them afterwards and I always thought it was just because it wasn’t meant to be. A few months ago though I met a girl and really liked her. After we slept together my feelings for her grew and didn’t disappear like they have with guys. This girl was quite butch and I don’t find myself attracted to feminine girls at all, so is it okay or “normal” to have a specific “type”? Even though I know I have a type of guy I’m into it’s not as specific as the type of girl I’m into (like with a guy it’s iust like blonde hair and specific personality traits, etc.). Now Im extremely confused as to whether this is a sign that I’m gay or am bisexual and have a preference for one gender? I have always watched lesbian porn but I’ve been told by most of my straight girl friends that so do they. I still find guys attractive but the thought of sleeping with a guy doesn’t entice me as much as sleeping with a girl. And on tinder for instance I find myself saying no to nearly every girl and every guy which sucks. Im worried that if I lean more towards girls and my type is so specific I will never find anyone. And because I havent met anyone else since the girl I liked I’ve held onto her and cannot seem to move on and get over her and I think fear of never finding someone else is the reason. Im not concerned about my sexuality in the sense of being judged by family of friends as I was open about my relationship with this girl, I’m just extremely confused and have been finding it hard to like anyone. Thank you for your help in advance!

Cyber I'm transgender
  • replies: 1

My name is Graham. I'm 32 years old, for twenty-eight years I know something was wrong with me. At age 4 old she came to me in my dreams (Nightmares) tell me that I didn't have to live a lie. I thought it was an illusion or something worst. So I drow... View more

My name is Graham. I'm 32 years old, for twenty-eight years I know something was wrong with me. At age 4 old she came to me in my dreams (Nightmares) tell me that I didn't have to live a lie. I thought it was an illusion or something worst. So I drowned it with alcohol, drugs & cigarettes. My heart is filled with darkness, my brain cloud chaos and destructive thoughts. I have been playing as female character on video games since I was 12 years old. I hate being male, it's makes me sick to my core. I want to be a female that I forgot it feel to human. I never go out with another one at long as inside pitiful male body so I got single forever than I prefer to die than live out reason of my life pig headed male. I thought tell my story so other tell there. I hate being called by real name & my parents keep on calling me Graham, even use my first & middle name so I started to use f word everytime they call me by my real name. I prefer Cyber it's abridged name for me.

HappyGirlTea What Should I Do Now?
  • replies: 4

Hi again, I don’t know if anyone will remember but I posted for the first time a few months ago. Since then I have finished my Year 12 exams and my results came out last Friday. I mentioned somewhere in the last thread that after I was finished all o... View more

Hi again, I don’t know if anyone will remember but I posted for the first time a few months ago. Since then I have finished my Year 12 exams and my results came out last Friday. I mentioned somewhere in the last thread that after I was finished all of that I hoped to find some support regarding my sexuality in real life. I emailed a support group in my area a few weeks ago but unfortunately it no longer runs. I was told this through an email sent to me by someone who runs another group in my area. However it is a theatre group which isn’t my sort of thing. The email did say I could just work backstage or watch but I’m not sure. I already feel so uncomfortable and don’t know if I would feel comfortable with that either. I don’t even know if I will be able to get to a group without my parents knowing. Or if I will feel comfortable enough to go there. Other than a support group I don’t really know how to find support in real life so I’m a bit stuck. I know when I go to University next year I will hopefully have a way to meet people there but that terrifies me and I don’t think it will be that easy anyway. I also don’t want to have to wait that long to find people as University starts in March. I just don’t know why it has to be so hard for me to feel okay with myself. I don’t want to have to wait to eventually feel okay. Hopefully someone can tell me what to do. Thanks.