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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 219

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Bash Am I really transgender?
  • replies: 4

Hi, I’ve never posted on here before but it seemed like a good idea to get some help. I’m a transgender guy, I came out at the end of last year and my parents and friends are good at using the right name/pronouns. It’s great and makes me feel comfort... View more

Hi, I’ve never posted on here before but it seemed like a good idea to get some help. I’m a transgender guy, I came out at the end of last year and my parents and friends are good at using the right name/pronouns. It’s great and makes me feel comfortable, but I cant help the feeling of "What if I regret this? What if I’m wrong?". In the past I’ve been told it’s a phase, and I read about other trans people and they all seem so sure, like they never feel doubt. Then I read about the percentage rate of detransitioners and it scares me. Is this a normal feeling for a trans guy? Most of the time I don’t feel doubt, I like being me, I’ve got new found confidence and enjoyment for life. I love being a guy and finally being seen as one, I remember throughout my childhood and early teen years repeatedly saying that I thought I was a boy and that I wanted to be a boy. I feel gender dysphoria, though I’ve never been diagnosed so I couldn’t be sure about what I’m feeling, I just know that I feel uncomfortable in my body and how I’m perceived in public. When I look at female bodies I think "I don’t want to look like that." And when I see male bodies I think "I wish I looked like that." And "I’m gonna look like that one day." I want the flat chest and the facial hair and the everything. Is this normal? Like, what if I’m wrong and I’m just a weird confused person? What if it really is just a phase and I end up going on hormones and I’m wrong? I’m struggling with this doubt, but I ask myself "do you really want to go back?" and I think no way. Despite this I can’t help the opposing thoughts. I hope this makes sense, it’s a bit of a ramble but I'd really love some help on this, Thanks.

Shaylee90 Lack of Intimacy in a new relationship
  • replies: 2

Hi Everyone, I am in a fairly new relationship and everything is going well except that I find our Intimacy lacks. We have been together for 6 months and do feel a connection to each other but the sexual side to our relationship hasn't taken full rei... View more

Hi Everyone, I am in a fairly new relationship and everything is going well except that I find our Intimacy lacks. We have been together for 6 months and do feel a connection to each other but the sexual side to our relationship hasn't taken full reins. I myself have a high sex drive and love all things romance. He is also very romantic in terms of flowers and being respectful to me. Am I overthinking that he isn't into me when it comes to Sex?

NJS_1 I think I'm a lesbian
  • replies: 7

Hi, Recently, I came out to my mum as a lesbian and before, I came out as bisexual, and even then I felt bisexual didn't suit me. My mum said to wait till I'm in a relationship with a woman to figure out what I am, which kind of made feel a bit inval... View more

Hi, Recently, I came out to my mum as a lesbian and before, I came out as bisexual, and even then I felt bisexual didn't suit me. My mum said to wait till I'm in a relationship with a woman to figure out what I am, which kind of made feel a bit invalid, but she doesn't understand what it's like being LGBTQ+. Although, she's supportive with whatever sexuality I am. In my heart, I feel like I'm gay and this familiar feeling did appear sometimes during childhood. Now, I recognise that this feeling as love and attraction to women and with this realisation I felt love for myself. I'm just so, so sick and tired of one minute I'm accepting and then the next I doubt, and think: "Wouldn't it be easier to be straight?" or "Do I find men attractive?". Another thing I learnt about myself is that the love I feel for women is different to the type I felt for men. My love for women is calm, healthy, wholesome and warm, and then that encourages the love I have for myself. Then the love I had for men was desperate and unhealthy. I used to be so desperate for a man's attention when I did receive it, whether it was healthy or not, I wouldn't want to let go of the attention. A couple of months ago a guy show his interest in me, at first when I met him I was happy to be friends and then it was very clear he was interested in me more than just friends, and then, I felt the same desperation I've felt countless of times. I've sort of had a crush on a woman, I would like to see her again, but I really doubt we'll meet again. I've been attracted to women before, definitely. I worry if I come out to others they'll think I'm joking or not take me seriously, and then, I'll probably go back in the closet which feels wrong and against my nature. When I realised that my love for women encourages love for myself which felt freeing, warm and like I could breathe again or like I was home again - I can't explain it. Also, I've recognised there some internalised homophobia and I remember having internalised homophobia as child. I feel like no one out there has felt like this or experienced this. I feel so alone. Any help would be appreciated.

JaimieS Any gender diverse new parents out there?
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I am looking to connect with people how are also LGBTQ parents of young children. If you fall into this category please reach out.

Hi all, I am looking to connect with people how are also LGBTQ parents of young children. If you fall into this category please reach out.

BS Am I a fool?
  • replies: 3

I am posting this here because I am a lesbian in a lesbian relationship. My partner and I have been together for over 8 years. We got together pretty young. We fell into our relationship pretty hard. And it got a little toxic for awhile We both had a... View more

I am posting this here because I am a lesbian in a lesbian relationship. My partner and I have been together for over 8 years. We got together pretty young. We fell into our relationship pretty hard. And it got a little toxic for awhile We both had a lot of bad habits and had a lot of mental health issues we weren't addressing. We have and are doing therapy. And together we are working on our relationship and ourselves. For a long time my partner has said she doesn't feel satisfied. But she doesn't know where that is coming from. We have tried things in and out of the relationship. But she still feels like this. We had a huge discussion about it a few days ago. She said she feels annoyed that our relationship mirrors a hetro relationship. In the way that we are in a monogamous relationship. We are about to buy a house. We have decided to have kids. But also she thinks she wants it. She said she also feels frustrated because she feels like because we got together so young she didn't get to try and do stuff before we got locked into this relationship. I do understand that on some level. It was a long talk but eventually I said I would give her a pass. Meaning that if she wants to talk to other girls she can. If she wants to flirt and and see what's out there she can. Because I was sick of having the same talk of her being dissatisfied and nothing changing. Because her feeling like that means she is always changing her mind and it gets frustrating. I am okay with her doing this. I am. But I also can't help think that maybe I am being an idiot? Am I letting her walk all over me? I mean who gives their partner a pass to possibly go find someone else while just sitting waiting hoping she will come home. I am trying to be open and take her feeling into account and also mine but it's hard. Navigating stuff like this is really difficult because I don't know if I am being stupid. And I don't have anyone to talk too about it. I love her. And she loves me. I know this. We have a good relationship. But if she isn't satisfied with me isn't that a bad thing? Has anyone else gone through something similar? On either side. Maybe you felt dissatisfied in the relationship..or your partner did. How did you navigate it. Has anyone opened up their relationship. How did it go? Am I being a sucker? I do believe she loves me and that she is just feeling a little lost. But should I be putting myself in this position or am I letting someone walk all over me?

Haggisinoz Coming out
  • replies: 3

Morning, I hope everyone is well. As a proud gay man myself, I was interested to hear other people’s experience and concerns coming out or having already come out to your friends or family, regardless of your sexuality. For me personally I know it wa... View more

Morning, I hope everyone is well. As a proud gay man myself, I was interested to hear other people’s experience and concerns coming out or having already come out to your friends or family, regardless of your sexuality. For me personally I know it was one of the biggest challenges in my life, a decision that changed my life forever. Although challenging, I remember the day that I had the realisation that I was gay and that I didn’t have something else wrong with me and that I wasn’t alone. I was lucky because my friends were extremely supportive but unfortunately my family didn’t see it this way initially and it did take them several years for them to fully understand and to accept this. It’s such an individual and personal experience coming out to friends and family and one that is extremely daunting. For me personally I made sure I told my friends first so when I finally the had the courage tell my family, I knew my friends were here to support me either way. Interested to know what other people have experienced or what advice we can give to those of you who are considering coming out. stay safe

Em_Louise Little confused
  • replies: 5

Hey! I’m relatively new here, but it seems like a really supportive platform! I’ve begun to question my sexuality a little bit and I think I might be bisexual, but I’m too scared to settle on a label if that makes sense. Im very grateful that my pare... View more

Hey! I’m relatively new here, but it seems like a really supportive platform! I’ve begun to question my sexuality a little bit and I think I might be bisexual, but I’m too scared to settle on a label if that makes sense. Im very grateful that my parents would be supportive if I did come out, but I’m too scared that maybe I’m not, I would hate to label myself as bi just to find out I’m straight, idk it feels wrong to the community But some background: unfortunately because of a lack of representation, I’ve barely even known (or not known but like been involved or new people who were apart of) the (LGBT+) community, and during high school I made friends who were openly gay or bi, but it was never something I thought about like ever, I just assumed I was straight because I know I like boys. I’m 18 now and for the past year or so (after a friend came out actually) I’ve started thinking, maybe that feeling and admiration is a little more. I’m just confused as to if I’m just like admiring or finding girls beautiful or if I’m actually attracted. Every time I think I can say yes you are bi, I question myself like ....but are you really? People always say to take your time or labels aren’t for everyone. But I’m still pressured because everyone seems to know by 14 or earlier from who I know, and I’m scared that I’m making up these feelings. Which, by making them up, would probably make me a bad person? I’m not sure I hope this makes a little sense! I just want to know if other people feel like this because it’s so confusing. thank you for reading and possibly responding, sending love! Xx

Jazzyjas Coming out as Trans to my parents.
  • replies: 2

Hi! For the last 25 years I have lived my life as Jason, a male pretending to be highly masculine in order to fit in with his small town surroundings. But never in my life was I happy or confident within myself and I often found myself looking at my ... View more

Hi! For the last 25 years I have lived my life as Jason, a male pretending to be highly masculine in order to fit in with his small town surroundings. But never in my life was I happy or confident within myself and I often found myself looking at my self in the mirror and hating what I see. A week ago from today I came out to my partner as transgender and nothing in life has ever felt so freeing or so right. It's as if everything in my life suddenly makes sense and I've had a constant flood since of repressed memorys that should have revealed my true gender when I was only very young. So I'm obviously very happy and very confident that I'm making the right descicion, the next big hurdle however is my parents. My parents aren't inherently bad people, but they certainly aren't understanding people when it comes to gender or sexuality issues. Hence why they don't even know that I'm Bisexual. In fact I'm so worried about there reaction to this I came out to my sister first and she made me swear that I wouldn't come out to them without her there. If anybody out there has any suggestions or advice for me to make it easier to come out to my parents I would really appreciate it. I understand that everybody's individual circumstances are different but any help would be fantastic. Thankyou so much in advance! kind regards, Jasmine.

gay____ Am I Gay?
  • replies: 4

Hey all I have come out as bisexual to my friends or peers and have been accepted from what I am aware. I have NOT come out to any family members as I do not now how to talk to them. I have been struggling lately though as I think I might be a lesbia... View more

Hey all I have come out as bisexual to my friends or peers and have been accepted from what I am aware. I have NOT come out to any family members as I do not now how to talk to them. I have been struggling lately though as I think I might be a lesbian. I don't particularly like the word lesbian so I will use gay instead. I find some boys cute but I am not overly attracted to them either sexually or to their personality etc. I am attracted to more feminine boys but I am very picky. On the other hand, I find girls way more attractive than guys and will always focus on the girl in any situation. I think I am holding back from committing to calling myself gay as I am afraid to come out to my family. My parents have always said they would accept us if we were attracted to the same gender but that is where they draw the line. I hope they will accept me but I am afraid to fully commit in fear of judgement. Does anyone have a similar story they have dealt with before or is currently going through? Just looking for advice thanks.

Centaured Enby pride
  • replies: 3

Hi all. Are there any non-binary pals here. I feel alone in my gender. No one gets it or want to understand. No one uses my pronouns. Just seeing if anyone is gender fluid/non-binary out there. Hi.

Hi all. Are there any non-binary pals here. I feel alone in my gender. No one gets it or want to understand. No one uses my pronouns. Just seeing if anyone is gender fluid/non-binary out there. Hi.