Sexuality and gender identity

Peer support and conversations about anxiety, depression and other issues in the mental health space affecting LGBTQI+ people.

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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 219

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

All discussions

uhhhhhh how do I come out to my brother..?
  • replies: 4

hey Ive kind of got a few questions I thought some people might be able to help me with im a transmasc guy and I've started using new name and pronouns with all my friends and some of my teachers now which is great but my mum hasn't really bothered w... View more

hey Ive kind of got a few questions I thought some people might be able to help me with im a transmasc guy and I've started using new name and pronouns with all my friends and some of my teachers now which is great but my mum hasn't really bothered with that stuff..do I sit down with her and talk about it? (scary) she used my name once or twice but then said it was "too hard" at dinner, in front of my brother who I hadn't come out to..how do I approach this conversation without mucking it up lol. Another thing is that I would like my brother to start using new name and pronouns but he's 12 and I'm not sure how to explain my situation to him.. any help?

mixiekat74 Would Like To Give Myself a Label
  • replies: 4

I am a 22-year-old cisgender woman and have been thinking about my sexuality as of late and would like to give myself a label. I am mostly attracted to men, but there are times I do find some women and even men dressing in drag attractive. I have nev... View more

I am a 22-year-old cisgender woman and have been thinking about my sexuality as of late and would like to give myself a label. I am mostly attracted to men, but there are times I do find some women and even men dressing in drag attractive. I have never dated or experimented with people and it can be hard for me to connect with anyone. I am socially awkward IRL and online and I hardly get out as I live in an isolated town with less than 30 people and don’t have a driver’s license to go anywhere. I feel more attractive to guys than women, but I don’t think I connect or feel comfortable around them, as I like spending time and connect better with girls, but I only feel the occasional attractiveness with them and wouldn’t mind experimenting when the time comes. Would there be a name for it?

kellyd Recently out and a bit unsure of the 'what next'
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I came out to my family and friends in June last year. I live in Melbourne and so such a long time locked down really gave me time to think about the positive impact being my authentic self to everyone, every time could have on my life. ... View more

Hi everyone, I came out to my family and friends in June last year. I live in Melbourne and so such a long time locked down really gave me time to think about the positive impact being my authentic self to everyone, every time could have on my life. I decided that after living a lot of my life knowing I was keeping a part of myself from the world, it was time to be me 100% and be proud of that. Prior to that, I was married to a heterosexual man and had never discussed being gay with my friends or family. Coming out has been one of the best choices I ever made. Whilst being my true self all the time without apology comes with some difficulties and challenges I wasn't expecting (a good example is being shouted at from a car by a group of men) my mental health has significantly improved compared to before. Even though I see all positives in my life now and I am VERY blessed to be someone who came out to a supportive family and chosen family, I have a million mixed feelings about my life now and I'm not really sure where to start or how to unpack or unravel them so they make sense to me. I know I can't be the only person who has felt this way before and so I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on how I might start to be able to identify each feeling or emotion I'm having separately so I can work through them. At the moment it feels like a giant mess and I don't know where to start. Thanks Kelly

PsychedelicFur My estrange mum’s partner
  • replies: 6

Hello there, ok so just over a year and four months ago my mum decided to walk out on my father. They had been married for a bit over twenty three years and she started to emotionally cheat on my dad with another man. Now her and that other man are n... View more

Hello there, ok so just over a year and four months ago my mum decided to walk out on my father. They had been married for a bit over twenty three years and she started to emotionally cheat on my dad with another man. Now her and that other man are no longer together for many personal reasons. However she is now engaged to someone who somewhat confuses me and I need some insight on this issue and situation. He is a man, biologically. However, when he feels like it he will wear women’s clothing. He admitted that he is never going to pursue any hormone tablets or undergo any surgical procedures to help him change his gender. However, he identifies as a female and shares photos of women kissing women all over his profile on a certain social media platform. Bare in mind he doesn’t always wear females clothing by the looks of it and yet he still identifies as a female yet he isn’t going to do anything about his genitalia. I’m very confused? This individual does not have any breasts etc. Could someone please provide some insight to this issue for me as I am really truly confused and don’t know if my mother is going through a midlife crisis or something. My mother, who now heavily smokes and drinks calls herself a lesbian. Yet she sleeps with this individual who is biologically a man. And they only dress in women’S clothes when he or she feels like it. Yet my mother told me years ago that if I were to turn out gay or bisexual that she should be very disappointed in me. I’m very confused. She has no contact with me and posts older photos of me on her Facebook, from when I was a little bit younger that sleazy old men comment ‘sexy’ and ‘hot’ underneath and she says ‘thank you’ as if to say that’s ok to objectify and speak about my only child in a disgusting and vile way. When she left, way back with her first partner, whom tried to hit on me by rubbing my legs, she told me to ‘get f*cked’ and stuck her finger up at me as the car drove off. I don’t feel safe around her and any men or individuals she is dating or associating with because she always speaks to individuals that sexualise her and sometimes me. looking for answers, PSYCHEDELICFUR.

randomspace Confused and Sad
  • replies: 4

I haven't posted in a while, I have depression anxiety. But that's not the point, I used to think I knew my gender but I don't anymore. I really hate having breasts, I find myself disgusting to look at although logically I don't think that's the case... View more

I haven't posted in a while, I have depression anxiety. But that's not the point, I used to think I knew my gender but I don't anymore. I really hate having breasts, I find myself disgusting to look at although logically I don't think that's the case from others perspectives. My breasts are small but I still hate them. I tried talking to my parents they sympathized but didn't think it was a major issue. My gender seems to change sometimes but not really. I feel sometimes part male and female, sometimes have no gender, sometimes have part a gender. I was told this is gender fluid but I still feel the same, its more of a perspective of myself. I feel uncomfortable going into the female toilets and change rooms at school, but I don't want to go into the male. Its worsening my mood and I'm told I often come across and cold and unfeeling even to my family and friends lately. I suppose that's my emotional state. I don't know what to do about this. Thanks for reading all this

CalmCat LGBTQIA+ Support Around Australia
  • replies: 3

Hi Guys, I'm Victorian and found https://www.minus18.org.au/ so helpful when coming out. Just thought others could share LGBTQIA+ links that might be helpful also. Looking forward to seeing that links or website others share. Regards, D

Hi Guys, I'm Victorian and found https://www.minus18.org.au/ so helpful when coming out. Just thought others could share LGBTQIA+ links that might be helpful also. Looking forward to seeing that links or website others share. Regards, D

Soggy_Oatmeal I'm questioning my sexuality!!!
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm feeling really anxious about posting here but I've been thinking of my sexuality for at least two years now. I'm in a friend group of people who understand themselves and I feel like I'm behind. I'm still young but I like knowing what is ahea... View more

Hi, I'm feeling really anxious about posting here but I've been thinking of my sexuality for at least two years now. I'm in a friend group of people who understand themselves and I feel like I'm behind. I'm still young but I like knowing what is ahead of me I worry too much and constantly wonder whether I like girls? boys? or no one at all! I'm so confused since I feel I don't understand what attraction feels like. Do I just think they're pretty or do I actually feel attraction towards them? I'm honestly here looking for support and similar experiences as I have come out as queer to few people and usually cope with feelings of confusion through humour yet I feel I'm leaning towards bisexuality: they/them and she/her or aromantic/asexuality which are both very different yet I feel I relate to those two the most. This might not even be understandable but I feel it was worth a try!

CJ_bi Hi there, wanna chat?
  • replies: 6

Hello whoever may be reading this, I thought I would start this thread because I wanted to talk to someone in general. I have also been having troubles figuring out whether I am bisexual or gay. I have faked crushes on boys to make me look more strai... View more

Hello whoever may be reading this, I thought I would start this thread because I wanted to talk to someone in general. I have also been having troubles figuring out whether I am bisexual or gay. I have faked crushes on boys to make me look more straight and I have had real crushes on girls, but I have actually had 1 proper crush on a boy. Any thoughts? I would appreciate anyone to talk to...