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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 219

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Namenotfound Name and Pronouns
  • replies: 2

I'm a closeted agender. To my family, I'm out as nonbinary with she/they pronouns, but I've never heard them use they. I get that she is part of my pronouns, but so is they. It's there to be used. Use it. Which is why I'm afraid to tell them that I w... View more

I'm a closeted agender. To my family, I'm out as nonbinary with she/they pronouns, but I've never heard them use they. I get that she is part of my pronouns, but so is they. It's there to be used. Use it. Which is why I'm afraid to tell them that I want to use she/they/he pronouns, let alone that I want to change my name as well. I tried telling one of my friends that I want to change my name, and they said that he loves my name but whatever I feel best in is better, which is okay but not exactly what I wanted to hear, you know? I'm running out of people to turn to and I'm feeling less like myself everyday. I want to start wearing a binder but my mum said that we would talk about that later and never got back to me. I don't know if she forgot or if she's avoiding it, and I don't know which possibility is worse. I don't really know what the point of this thread is. I just needed to get this out somewhere safe and supportive. If you've read this, honestly, thank you.

kindacool coming out problem?
  • replies: 1

hi uh I'm having trouble coming out to my mum.. my parents are divorced and I've come out to both my parents as trans ftm. my dad is so supportive I am so grateful for that. he's using my name, pronouns, he got me in to see a gender therapist and he'... View more

hi uh I'm having trouble coming out to my mum.. my parents are divorced and I've come out to both my parents as trans ftm. my dad is so supportive I am so grateful for that. he's using my name, pronouns, he got me in to see a gender therapist and he's even gotten me to move schools for a fresh start however my mum has been denying and ignoring it ever since I came out to her in December..my gender therapist has talked to her about using my name and pronouns but she doesn't really care..she keeps on messing up (which is obviously fine) but she makes me feel guilty for her messing up. I've given up on correcting her and now she just acts like i never even came out. Oh and one time she said that I wasn't transgender because I didn't show any signs as a kid and I was always feminine...which is not true?? I've never been very feminine, I've always been more on the masculine side..I'm also really into sport but I'm currently playing on a girls basketball team..I really want to play boys basketball and soccer which my dad encourages but since I'm at my mum's place most of the time and she pays for it, I don't know how to approach this... I'm also making schools with my new name and pronouns which I haven't told her yet. i feel like im lying to her or something. I really want to move to my dad's but mum loves to play victim so I don't know how that would go either..

Ben9z2004 Loss of community and gay apps destroying us
  • replies: 9

Hi, Lately ive been depressed and even thought of taking my own life. Statistics show that the gay community is more depressed, unhappy and suicidal than ever. As part of my journey to happiness again I'm on a mission to help change it, Ditch the app... View more

Hi, Lately ive been depressed and even thought of taking my own life. Statistics show that the gay community is more depressed, unhappy and suicidal than ever. As part of my journey to happiness again I'm on a mission to help change it, Ditch the apps, meet face to face, connect and become a community again. It used to be straights against gays and now it's gays against gays, this includes the whole LGBTQI community. I've been brave and told my story and will work hard to get this moving but need your help.

RaRaRa Assistance with LGBTIQ+ students
  • replies: 5

Hi readers, I didn't even realise that Beyond Blue had a forum until now but this seems like a good place to start. So I am an educator. In terms of my own background, I have had ongoing issues with depression and anxiety. I am largely cisgender but ... View more

Hi readers, I didn't even realise that Beyond Blue had a forum until now but this seems like a good place to start. So I am an educator. In terms of my own background, I have had ongoing issues with depression and anxiety. I am largely cisgender but have had some bicurious tendencies and have had homosexual experiences. This isn't about me though! I work at a rather... small, rural school. We have what is referred to as a "tier 3" program which is a separate place that students can access when they cannot be, for various reasons, in a "mainstream" class. Anyway, I have a student who has a variety of physical and mental issues. Their parents are demisexual and biromantic (all things I've learnt thanks to her and my own research): the student in question identifies as transgender. We have talked about this at length but their peers simply cannot reconcile these differences. Firstly, are there any tips that anyone can provide from first hand experience that will support a young person that is transgender? (e.g. Ways to approach it, language to use,etc) additionally, all of their 3 siblings identify as non-cisgender: is that nurture or nature? And secondly, in what ways can young adults be taught to simply accept that gender/sexual differences exist? That's really a societal level question but this school lives in a relative vacuum of old fashioned values. Does anyone have tips on how to approach the more reticent people on the massive spectrum that is gender and security? I know these are massive, open-ended questions, but I want to do the best by the students I teach. Thanks in advance

Johnnie84 (TW: Drug use, sexual references) Gay single lonely suicidal drug abuser
  • replies: 1

So I am a 36 year old guy from WA and I am gay. I am a shy guy and don't think to much if myself. About 5 years ago I started smoking meth which gave me an escape n gave me a boost in confidence. I then came across tumblr and saw people posting vids ... View more

So I am a 36 year old guy from WA and I am gay. I am a shy guy and don't think to much if myself. About 5 years ago I started smoking meth which gave me an escape n gave me a boost in confidence. I then came across tumblr and saw people posting vids of themselves smoking meth so I started doing the same and it got some traction so I got creative with the vids and it was fun n I was getting heaps of likes and i hadc10k plus followers. tumblr changed some shit so my vids were being taken down. I was then told about pnp zoom rooms which was a room full of guys smoking n chilling it was like having a session but online. People would msg me recognising me from tumblr and I started getting all this attention in the real world I struggled to meet up with anyone. many rejections or they would flake out. I found myself on these zoom meetings alot and that caused me to increase my meth use to the n was smoking daily.. I'd be in my room for hours smoking and chatting to guys who where giving me so much attention that I have never received in my life. The problem was all these guys were overseas. But it was nice that this guy from Australia pretty much a nobody get this much attention to the point everyone knew who I was. Of course I had some haters but I was always nice n kind and friendly to everyone. As time went on I realised I had no real friends and the only ones I had were my zoom buddy's. My health started to go down hill. I am type 1 diabetic and eventually I had problems getting a erection the best I could do was a semi n that was trying hard lol and mind u I'd be sober too. So I felt embarrassed that a guy like myself can't even get hard any more so I was afraid to hook up with anyone or I'd make up excuses why I couldn't get hard. But on zoom no one cared they thought I was hot AF. I now find myself not being able to afford buying meth so my I tried going on zoom sober but it was hard everyone's high n blowing clouds n here's me just sitting here watching, it was crap I wana blow clouds I wana get high. So I am struggling cause that was my only social thing I'd have Days go by where I speak to no one. Wen I talk to someone I talk their ear off I think I look like this crazy guy and unload everything on this poor person and they politely end the conversation. I dunno wat to do I know people will read this n roll their eyes God i started to see how pathetic I am/sound. I dunno I just wanted to talk n share. I wanted to kill myself but I am a coward

Chickwithwick Preparing to take next steps.
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I am Chloe, inside I am a transgendered person. I have preferred to be a woman from a very early age but due to a variety of reasons I have been unable to express myself openly. The main reason is I never really ac... View more

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I am Chloe, inside I am a transgendered person. I have preferred to be a woman from a very early age but due to a variety of reasons I have been unable to express myself openly. The main reason is I never really accepted myself and thought of it as a defect. I'm over it now, I am happy who I am and my partner of 7 years who has known about this from the start is more than supportive. The issue at hand is this: I am a highly qualified Demolition expert focused almost entirely on industrial entities. As you can imagine surely it is a male dominated industry and quite hard to transition in. Not only that, it's dangerous and dirty. I am exposed to all sorts of horrible stuff, regularly getting burned and exposed to Asbestos, hydrocarbons etc. I do use proper PPE and am qualified to handle these substances. I am qualified nationally for high risk works and am regularly working from heights of 50 meters + I do love the work, I hate what it does to my body. I would like to start a new career, but being 35 and having an income over 100k I have had to accept that I will earn far less. That's fine. I don't need a lot of money, it's just comfortable. I have no idea of what I could go for in terms of work to support my lifestyle and choices. Is there anyone here who has had to change career later in life to support their choices? How did you do it? How hard was it to transition (work transition)? Can anyone recommend some possible career paths to take this late in life?

Dean21 27 years old confused about sexuality for the first time
  • replies: 3

Hey guys, I am a 27 year old guy and I have been straight all my life. I have never had a single urge/desire/thought to do anything of a homosexual nature, never ever have questioned my sexuality and have always been obsessed with girls my whole life... View more

Hey guys, I am a 27 year old guy and I have been straight all my life. I have never had a single urge/desire/thought to do anything of a homosexual nature, never ever have questioned my sexuality and have always been obsessed with girls my whole life. I did a reiki healing session about 7 weeks ago and since then, I have had a strong desire to explore my homosexual fantasies. I have also lost all attraction to women. I can't even masturbate to them, I don't get as turned on as I do with gay fantasies since that reiki session. I am very scared- will my attraction to women come back? I have loved women all my life and I feel that I have woken up as gay overnight after the Reiki session. I don't know what happened and I am terrified Any advice would be appreciated, thank you

DaffyDuck_ Confusion about sexuality for 2 years
  • replies: 4

Hello, I've been questioning my sexuality a lot over the years but especially the last two. I don't know whether I'm bi, omni, lesbian, asexual, or just really anything. I remember all my crushes have been boys when I was younger, but had always said... View more

Hello, I've been questioning my sexuality a lot over the years but especially the last two. I don't know whether I'm bi, omni, lesbian, asexual, or just really anything. I remember all my crushes have been boys when I was younger, but had always said to others that if my crush/boy tried to ask me out, kiss me, hug, etc, I would always reject them because I never wanted to do that. This made me question recently if I even like them, or just like the idea of them. This is embarrassing but 2D men, YES. Real men, idk probs not. Last year when I became a bit more familiar with my sexuality, I realised I probably do like girls. (I'm not sure if I'm fully accepting that myself) but I recently had a crush on a girl, I wanted to kiss her and be with her with no hesitation. But the idea of sex is very eh, like I'm not interested in it and I think I would feel very uncomfortable ever doing it. I think I could have sex if my partner was interested in it. The thing with sex is I always think about it, sometimes I have desire for it. But I don't think I would ever really actually wanna do it, it's seems really odd to me and not exciting. It's probably because I learnt what sex was very young and learnt BDSM and etc also at a very young age. So I'm just used it and I don't see the hype. I thought I was lesbian after reading 'Am I Lesbian?' online docs, but then felt like maybe I could be missing out on guys, or maybe I don't like guys because I've never really had good experiences with them besides a couple who were my friends. Then I question if I even like girls because I rarely have crushes. When I was younger, I thought I liked a guy but realised I just found him really funny and fun to hang around. I became a closeted lesbian, then omni, now asexual?? It's so confusing and I know it's not something to rush but I don't think I'll ever find out since I don't like having crushes or no one ever really likes me so it makes it even harder to find out. I don't like feeling confused so I'm pretty desperate to figure it out. Any advice or opinions?

spunkyturtle I am gay......
  • replies: 1

so I fell in love with my support worker, it ended badly. I'm not coping well. I've been seeing an escort since late November, I thought it would be easier to experiment to see if I am gay with a professional, you might say. It has worked out well fo... View more

so I fell in love with my support worker, it ended badly. I'm not coping well. I've been seeing an escort since late November, I thought it would be easier to experiment to see if I am gay with a professional, you might say. It has worked out well for me, it has given me someone to talk to as well, so it's not just about the intimacy. Now I am stressed out, what if I never find a partner? I kinda feel like I spend all my money on the escort and buying lotto tickets so I can spend more time with her. It's a weird situation. Plus my Mother has always said if I am gay she'd disown me, so got to keep that secret. Sad part is my mental health support person got a restraining order against me, she couldn't deal with the fact I was flirting with her, buying her gifts, etc so she got an AVO. I just accepted it. I don't want anything to do with her anyway. So hard when I have barely anyone to talk to about this.

Tamrby gonna make this quick
  • replies: 7

uh, so my counsellor that I saw today, and she was very sweet and accepting of me, but she kept using odd wording, she like kept saying things like "so do your parents support your choice of being a lesbian, and the decision you made?" I- can anyone ... View more

uh, so my counsellor that I saw today, and she was very sweet and accepting of me, but she kept using odd wording, she like kept saying things like "so do your parents support your choice of being a lesbian, and the decision you made?" I- can anyone spot the flaw here? I would definitely not choose to like the same sex (I mean don't get me wrong I'm proud of who I am but it can really suck sometimes) plus my family is homophobic so if I could choose I would definitely choose to just like boys. Anyways it really rubbed me the wrong way even though she seemed genuinely supportive the wording uh, was definitely bad. I don't know maybe I'm just being sensitive, It doesn't make my like super upset or anything I just wanted rant and get some opinions from others! thanks - tambry