Immediate support
Immediate support

Sexuality and gender identity

Peer support and conversations about anxiety, depression and other issues in the mental health space affecting LGBTQI+ people.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 219

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

All discussions

Start a discussion

jimmy52 52 bi and feeling alone
  • replies: 2

hi new to all this, not long come out to myself and my wife, she seems ok with it. now that i am self aware i think about it more i feel a bit alone with it as i know no other people that are bi or lgbt it would be good to have people of that group t... View more

hi new to all this, not long come out to myself and my wife, she seems ok with it. now that i am self aware i think about it more i feel a bit alone with it as i know no other people that are bi or lgbt it would be good to have people of that group to talk to,

Lost_Soul I DESPISE ME
  • replies: 5

I am gay and I was molested as a child... These are two realisations that I only learned to accept and fully understand 2-3 years ago. I am no expert but I am convinced that my abuse had a lot to do with my sexuality. I didn't know how it started but... View more

I am gay and I was molested as a child... These are two realisations that I only learned to accept and fully understand 2-3 years ago. I am no expert but I am convinced that my abuse had a lot to do with my sexuality. I didn't know how it started but I am certain that I am already trapped in such a horrific situation as early as I start to come to my own senses. I hate what I am now, what I have become, I despise it. I want to live a straight life and tried so hard to do it with little to zero success. I've had straight relationships in the past to try to live the ideal straight life that I am dreaming of but I've always known that I am lying to myself. I don't hate the LGBT community but I hate myself for being gay and I hate this life even more thinking that i could have a better shot at living a straight life had I have not been molested.... And now, all the urges, all the attraction towards the same sex that im trying to block are only getting stronger. I know there's no escaping it and I am what I am now. I'm in my late 30s already, diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I am extremely unhappy, i always feel that there is a void inside me, I feel that life is wasting away before my eyes... I am in the closet and Id probably stay there till the day I die. I am getting tired... I guess this is my cry for help for anyone who could make me appreciate this life that I am causing me too much suffering...

DragonFlower how to deal with dysphoria?
  • replies: 3

I no longer know what the hell I am but this dysphoria is killing me, are there any ways you know to help? also how do you know what your gender/sexuality/orientation/etc is bc im really confused and i cant tell whats real anymore

I no longer know what the hell I am but this dysphoria is killing me, are there any ways you know to help? also how do you know what your gender/sexuality/orientation/etc is bc im really confused and i cant tell whats real anymore

Skippyb1 I’m bigender and bisexual and scared how others will react
  • replies: 5

I’m 14 and everyone knows I’m bisexual but they don’t know I’m bigender and I’m scared to tell them especially my family because of how they’ll react I want to be able to be myself. I’m scared to be myself because of high school there’s a lot of pres... View more

I’m 14 and everyone knows I’m bisexual but they don’t know I’m bigender and I’m scared to tell them especially my family because of how they’ll react I want to be able to be myself. I’m scared to be myself because of high school there’s a lot of pressure in that environment and people there aren’t great. Lately I’ve been experiencing anxiety and I’m scared to talk to people and not being able to be myself is a part of that. I’ve experienced a few panic attacks because of this. I want to be able to tell people who I am but I’m really terrified. If you think you have ways to help with this please share.

june_03 feeling like I can’t express myself
  • replies: 3

Hello :), I have been wanting to cut my hair pretty short for a while ( i am a girl btw) and i think it would make me really happy but every time I ask my mum to make a booking she tells me that “i should grow it out” or “it will look like a boy hair... View more

Hello :), I have been wanting to cut my hair pretty short for a while ( i am a girl btw) and i think it would make me really happy but every time I ask my mum to make a booking she tells me that “i should grow it out” or “it will look like a boy haircut” and basically just discourages me completely. She always says that our long hair looks so nice and we shouldn’t cut it. I know this isn’t a huge deal compared to many issues on here but I feel like my self expression is being suppressed. She let my brother get whatever hair cut he wanted but she just seems to hate the idea of my hair being short. I am a teenager btw so I can’t really book/go to get it done myself. I am probably overthinking it but if she doesn’t want me to have short hair then I am worried about how she would react to finding out I like girls? anyway this was just a little rant my mum is great most of the time it’s just really frustrating. anyone had a similar experience/ does it get better when you’re and adult? - june

MikeyQ Coming to terms with my sexuality and meeting men
  • replies: 6

I am a male in my 50's and came out as gay during the last 12 months. As well as struggling with coming to terms with my sexuality (something I was in denial about for most of my life) I am finding it very difficult to meet guys in a similar situatio... View more

I am a male in my 50's and came out as gay during the last 12 months. As well as struggling with coming to terms with my sexuality (something I was in denial about for most of my life) I am finding it very difficult to meet guys in a similar situation to me. To be honest I don't even know where to start. I haven't had any luck with google etc etc. Not a fan of dating apps, as I am trying to find a life partner and hook up's for sex just don't interest me. Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated to help me embark on the next phase of my life. Thank you and a Happy New Year to you all.

hewieth14 Ranting about homophobes - and should i respond?
  • replies: 3

i was verbally harassed, over text, a couple of hours ago - which is usually fine for me because I've learnt/become desensitized to this stuff - and I've sort of spiralled. this has never happened to me so I'm a bit scared but I got caught in the rab... View more

i was verbally harassed, over text, a couple of hours ago - which is usually fine for me because I've learnt/become desensitized to this stuff - and I've sort of spiralled. this has never happened to me so I'm a bit scared but I got caught in the rabbit hole of reflecting on both his idiocy and his words. I kept thinking about it until i realised that i had been researching the mental health issues of lgbtqia+ people. and to put it lightly i went right off at the guy that was texting me. and i wasn't angry that he was calling me this stuff, because i honestly couldn't care less what some boy thinks of me. but i was angrier at how, firstly, inconsiderate he was being, but also how ignorant he was being. it kind of made me think of the bigger picture. I'm one person that its happened to and the other guy is one person that is contributing to the issues. i was angry on a societal level. (he also called me and my bestfriend some other thing which i don't think I'm allowed to say) i told him how his actions have consequences etc, but i evidently didn't get through to him. so i think my question is how do i combat it - mostly over text because i would walk away irl? it's never happened to me before this (i only recently came out). p.s I've blocked the homophobe for anyone wondering - only positive vibes only here

The-misunderstood-girl The misunderstood girl
  • replies: 2

Hi I don’t even know where to begin or if I’m even in the right place but here goes. Since I was young I have always dreamt of girls. I have always had a better connection with boys when it comes to hanging out but when it comes to connection of attr... View more

Hi I don’t even know where to begin or if I’m even in the right place but here goes. Since I was young I have always dreamt of girls. I have always had a better connection with boys when it comes to hanging out but when it comes to connection of attraction it has always been females. I grew up in an incredibly strict family so being anything other then what I was suppose to be has always run my life. As the years went by my dreams have never stopped with how I felt about women. I guess I don’t know what kind of person I truly am or meant to be. I’m in a long term relationship now and I don’t want to jeopardise it however I feel like I was meant for more then how I am living now. What does it even mean. Who am I really…

...Gekota Planing to come out as trans and in need of advice
  • replies: 2

I’ve been thinking a lot about coming out to my parents as transgender (AFAB to unlabelled but transmasc) my family are not religious and very supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community, they already think I’m gay from what I’ve overheard and are okay with... View more

I’ve been thinking a lot about coming out to my parents as transgender (AFAB to unlabelled but transmasc) my family are not religious and very supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community, they already think I’m gay from what I’ve overheard and are okay with it but their sort of thinking in the wrong direction. I’m not a huge fan on the idea of coming out for like your sexuality and stuff because I don’t think you owe it to anyone to have to feel like you NEED to tell them unless people like assume your straight and you just correct them. But gender identity is a bit harder and more complicated. At the moment I feel really fake and it’s been really really hard for me. All the times I felt different and uncomfortable with myself for years and still do sort of make sense now, even if I’m not 100% sure who I am. The only reason I want to come out is because being misgendered and referred to as my dead name makes me hate myself even more then I already do it makes me feel like I just need to put on this little costume and pretend I can be her, but I’m not. I also think my gender dysphoria is getting significantly worse and badly effecting my mental health. I don’t think I want to start medically transitioning yet as I’m still unsure who I am but I would like to make small changes in my life to make me feel comfortable by people who I love, my parents and brother and maybe one day I will be able to look at myself and smile and love who I am. I’ve already written a letter and I plan on giving it to them this holidays. I hope they except me but I can’t help but feel scared and it’s giving me so much anxiety over it and I’m worried I’ll just ruin everything. I’ve already put so much pain on them these past few years, what if this just destroys everything?Im so scared but I really need their support. It’s obviously not going to be easy to hear that your daughter is not in fact your daughter but your gender neutral child/son. I need support and advice as I really don’t want to hide anymore. Im so so so tired of pretending I can be this little girl. I want to be myself. I want to be comfortable and happy and not flinch every time a hear my birth name or people calling me feminine labels/pronouns I want to feel that amazing sensation when people ask for my pronouns I just want my parents to love me, the real me and realise I am there child, I always was. I am not a girl. And sometimes it sucks. Actually at this point in time it sucks like 98% of the time. -N

Worried_ME My son is worried he might be gay
  • replies: 3

Hi, I'm looking for any advice on how to help my 12 yr old son navigate his anxiety. A situation occurred when he was 9 (3 years ago)and he has only just told us about it in the past few months after we were trying to work out why he was acting a lit... View more

Hi, I'm looking for any advice on how to help my 12 yr old son navigate his anxiety. A situation occurred when he was 9 (3 years ago)and he has only just told us about it in the past few months after we were trying to work out why he was acting a little unusual. He said that was the only time he did it and it made him feel sick. One of the lads was a close friend but over the past year we have noticed our son has started to move away from him. Apparently this lad and some others hold hands around school acting silly but all have girlfriends or a crush on girls. My son also has a girl he really likes and has never shown any signs he might like boys. When we've asked if he might like a boy/s and he said no but he's worried he might be gay. He has very mild anxiety so we are thinking that maybe as his hormones are starting to go crazy along with this memory that when he's in a stressful situation around boys, his physical and mental symptoms in that moment replicate that feeling from 3 years ago. Has anyone else had anything like this before?