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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 219

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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zippedzipp LGBTQ+ Movie Recommendation: Dating Amber
  • replies: 4

Hey everyone, I watched a great movie tonight called Dating Amber, it's on Netflix. I think it could really help someone who's struggling with their identity or confused about their sexuality. It made me cry but in a happy way :') definitely worth a ... View more

Hey everyone, I watched a great movie tonight called Dating Amber, it's on Netflix. I think it could really help someone who's struggling with their identity or confused about their sexuality. It made me cry but in a happy way :') definitely worth a watch. Hope everyone is well!

tmas Straight friends fetishising queerness
  • replies: 3

Here goes… I’m bi and super open with it these days. I have other identity questions too (which I’m not ready to voice in the real world yet), and also don’t think of my bisexuality as a man/woman thing, but frankly that takes more explaining than I ... View more

Here goes… I’m bi and super open with it these days. I have other identity questions too (which I’m not ready to voice in the real world yet), and also don’t think of my bisexuality as a man/woman thing, but frankly that takes more explaining than I (or they it seems) have patience for with my cishet uni girlfriends. Basically, when I told them I was bi, I was asked the question what it’s like to be with a girl, I’m not one to over share so I just said I’m only interested in mutual feelings and stuff, not that weird to be asked. I have one friend, however, that really pushed it. She frequently asks, after months of being friends, whether I’m attracted to her and would like to ‘do stuff’ with her - ‘if she was into girls’, that is. Frankly, no. Physically she’s attractive, but in every other way I wouldn’t go there. It takes a bit more than appearances to be attracted to someone (but I know that isn’t what she’s asking). She says it as a casually and often in front of people so I usually just keep making deflective jokes until the subject changes, but my BF noticed too. I’m also uncomfortable because she has a boyfriend, as do I, and she makes sexual comments (I, quite embarrassingly, deflected this by instead talking about my current sex life which isn’t like me and I’m scared is disrespectful to my partner, but it did kind of curb the advances). I thought early on that maybe she was questioning, but as time goes on I think she may be insecure and wants to use my attraction to women as validation, like how she might find male attention validating except I’m just less threatening (and maybe if I were to declare my attraction there’d be lots of flattery and no pressure to act on it because she’s straight - I know in the past she, like myself and others, has felt like she needed to engage with men who’ve expressed attraction regardless of how she felt about him. It really feels like she thinks, if I’m bi, I’m some authority on attractive people because I’m attracted to anything that breathes, and I’m sure everyone here knows that simply isn’t true. She’ll touch and do something suggestive, I think compulsively seeking affection, and I apparently don’t know how to let someone down nicely without giving them room to continue overstepping boundaries. I’ve done too much therapy not to see this is seeking validation, and it peaked off the back of her last (messy) break up too. If she continues, how do I lay boundaries? Does this happen to others?

dougismydog How do you meet people when your in the closet and don’t have a social life anyway?
  • replies: 4

So… I’m new here. Hi. im 29, a I missed socialising when I was 14-20 and I’ve been stuck in a social rut for a long time now. More and more I’ve been realising how lonely I actually am and how much I wish to find a partner. But how? I don’t want to p... View more

So… I’m new here. Hi. im 29, a I missed socialising when I was 14-20 and I’ve been stuck in a social rut for a long time now. More and more I’ve been realising how lonely I actually am and how much I wish to find a partner. But how? I don’t want to put my face on and dating sites incase someone I know sees it and I don’t go out and socialise. Please help.

lamstokindustries How do I make gay friends my age?
  • replies: 7

I am a 20 year old, nonbinary, gay person in melbourne. I have never been able to make gay friends my age. I can never seem to find anyone. All I want is to make a genuine connection and make some male friends. I feel so lonely and have no idea where... View more

I am a 20 year old, nonbinary, gay person in melbourne. I have never been able to make gay friends my age. I can never seem to find anyone. All I want is to make a genuine connection and make some male friends. I feel so lonely and have no idea where to look. I've tried joining groups but I can never find them or I don't get responses back once i've applied... Can anyone help me? Now don't get me wrong I love my girl friends to bits... but I just want some male friends so I have someone to talk about things with that'll understand better. Might sound dumb but... I want that bromance feeling. If anyone has any suggestions, please, help me.

Guest_236 is it worth coming out as bisexual in my circumstances ?
  • replies: 8

Hi there, I'm Tea I hope you're all doing well; I'll get right into it. Some background information. I'm new to this section of Beyond Blue forums, and kind of new to the LGBT+ community. I'm a cis female, turned 18 last month. About a year ago, I st... View more

Hi there, I'm Tea I hope you're all doing well; I'll get right into it. Some background information. I'm new to this section of Beyond Blue forums, and kind of new to the LGBT+ community. I'm a cis female, turned 18 last month. About a year ago, I started questioning my sexual identity, although I think I kind of always knew I was bi. I came out to my friends (most of which are LGBT+) when I started dating another girl, although I implied I'm bi long before I officially came out. My relationship with the girl was brief, and didn't end on good terms. But I appreciate her and the experience nevertheless as it was really affirming. As for how I present, I'm pretty open about my identity with people my age, but only indirectly imply it. Here are my circumstances. I have not come out to my parents, and when relevant conversation topics or jokes arise, I subtly imply that I'm straight. I'm also in a happy and healthy relationship with a cis male (my parents don't know about it but I'm planning on tell them in a few months since I'm graduating high school soon). My mother is a Christian (Jehovah's Witness) but is accepting of LGBT+ people, as she believes "it's not their fault, they can't control who they're attracted to" and is very accepting towards my LGBT+ friends. She also thinks "if you're a christian, it's a sin once you act upon it" and so probably doesn't approve of Christians who are actively gay, and therefore might not approve of me being bi since she doesn't know I'm PIMO. My dad probably thinks about the same. My step father isn't religious and seems very accepting. But my step mum is straight up homophobic and biphobic even if she denies it. She voted no against gay marriage rights and has said that bi people are just selfish, horny and confused, and that's why they can't pick a side. It was really hurtful to hear. I'd be okay with identifying as straight unless I started a serious relationship with a girl, but knowing my step mum thinks that way (and also wanting to be authentic with my mum and dad for once in my life) makes me want to come out as bi, even if I'm in a straight relationship. but it also gives me more reason to not come out. what do you guys think? is it worth coming out? i know this is a big step, and something only i can decide to do once i think i'm ready. but i'd love to get some perspective thank you all so much

_emily_ Unsure about new friend
  • replies: 6

Hey everyone, i made this new female friend while I was at my workplace back in October. It’s really difficult for me to make new friends normally, but we became close very quickly. She’s super friendly, caring, we hang out all the time and she alway... View more

Hey everyone, i made this new female friend while I was at my workplace back in October. It’s really difficult for me to make new friends normally, but we became close very quickly. She’s super friendly, caring, we hang out all the time and she always goes out of her way to do things for me. So out of the blue one day she tells me this female friend of hers might like her as more than a friend. I’m like to her that’s cute if you like her why don’t you go on a date. My friend tells me she has a boyfriend that she finds this friend ugly, said she was disgusted and that she’s not a lesbian or part of the lgbtq group. She also said she would stop being friends with any girl who likes her, but if a guy liked her she would be fine with it. Btw her friend made no indication of liking her as more than a friend and it sounded like my friend made these things up. Her friend just said stuff like she misses her and had extra heart emoticons but somehow that made my friend think she had feelings towards her. Weirdly enough in the middle of the conversation she asks me what if I liked her but I didn’t say anything. After she said all these things about her friend I’m a bit worried about my friendship with her considering I’m not straight, but she doesn’t know that. I just don’t understand why she would tell me this and what should I do about the friendship?

RosalieHoney Finding a Job Where You Can Be Yourself?
  • replies: 5

Hi guys, first time poster here, a 24 y/o afab, with neurodivergency and chronic illness. I am bisexual and exploring my sexuality and gender further. The situation is that I grew up in a very intolerant religious household where I could not be who I... View more

Hi guys, first time poster here, a 24 y/o afab, with neurodivergency and chronic illness. I am bisexual and exploring my sexuality and gender further. The situation is that I grew up in a very intolerant religious household where I could not be who I am at all, and it hurt me a lot, as I'm sure many of you know. I've spent the last few years dealing with depression, anxiety and trauma and learning to feel safe exploring who I am. The lockdowns really helped me to feel like I can be myself, and I'm finally ready to explore work/study options and begin building a life for myself - as me. I've been very isolated, and I don't have anyone who doesn't fit the 'norm' to ask about well, how to actually do that. Here's the tricky thing. When I go to work, I feel a whole ton of pressure to present as straight, neurotypical, and generally very different to who I am. I've worked in a range of jobs to pay the bills including disability support and admin roles. I'm quite shy but very confident and outgoing when I am comfortable. It feels like I've spent all this time learning how to be myself, but then I can't be me from 9-5 for 5 days a week. I live in a trendy neighbourhood and I see a lot of people who have coloured hair, tattoos and unusual or androgynous clothes and who seem to laugh and joke with coworkers in chill cafes and feel so utterly comfortable in who they are. I don't feel like I can ever have that. And I'm so baffled at how they've found that supportive environment. All of my jobs have felt like I have to put on a costume to go to work. I've just moved to a new city, and I'm exploring new work and study options. If you are open about who you are, what industry do you work in? Do you feel like you have to hide? Are some industries better than others? Any and all advice is welcomed! Thanks in advance

Sezza_H Confused as to whether or not I am a lesbian
  • replies: 8

I'm confused as to whether or not I am a lesbian. This has been on my mind a lot lately and I feel very anxious about it. It's been weighing on my mind after I went on my first ever date. It was with a kind and genuine guy that I had been talking to ... View more

I'm confused as to whether or not I am a lesbian. This has been on my mind a lot lately and I feel very anxious about it. It's been weighing on my mind after I went on my first ever date. It was with a kind and genuine guy that I had been talking to for a few days prior to meeting up. I had a lovely time with him and we have a lot in common. However, the thought of being affectionate with him make me feel a little uncomfortable. Then I realised that the thought of being affectionate with any man makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable. I feel like I would be a lot more comfortable with affection if it was with another woman. I'm just really confused and I'm not sure what to think about this. Does this mean that I am a lesbian? How am I supposed to figure this out? What if I am actually straight and its just that I haven't met the right guy yet? In the meantime, I'm not sure what to do about this guy. Do I go on another date with him? I'm just so confused about it all and I'm not sure what to do...

John2468 Asexual or low libido
  • replies: 8

So my partner and I have significant differences in our libidos that is jeopardizing our relationship. I had generally gone with the assumption that my low libido was due to weight, my dreadful mental health and stress. My partner's libido is very hi... View more

So my partner and I have significant differences in our libidos that is jeopardizing our relationship. I had generally gone with the assumption that my low libido was due to weight, my dreadful mental health and stress. My partner's libido is very high. A month or so ago my partner showed me a post they had found regarding asexuality that to their mind could explain things. Asexuality is something I had not heard of before and reading some more about it, I see why my partner came to that view. I've looked at some online tests on asexuality but I'm sceptical about them, with the line between asexuality and low libido seeming quite blurred. I'm lost and confused and don't know which way to turn.

jimmy52 52 bi and feeling alone
  • replies: 2

hi new to all this, not long come out to myself and my wife, she seems ok with it. now that i am self aware i think about it more i feel a bit alone with it as i know no other people that are bi or lgbt it would be good to have people of that group t... View more

hi new to all this, not long come out to myself and my wife, she seems ok with it. now that i am self aware i think about it more i feel a bit alone with it as i know no other people that are bi or lgbt it would be good to have people of that group to talk to,