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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 223

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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waffle_puppy I'm unsure..
  • replies: 6

(Thank you so much again for reading my posts and I understand it's been a while since I've posted anything but again, thank you so much ☺️) So recently I've been questioning my sexuality a lot, even when I told my parents about it (Especially my dad... View more

(Thank you so much again for reading my posts and I understand it's been a while since I've posted anything but again, thank you so much ☺️) So recently I've been questioning my sexuality a lot, even when I told my parents about it (Especially my dad ) he tells me that I must settle in so that I won't be confused for any longer, however I'm torn between feeling as if I might be Pansexual or Bisexual because I've recently had crushes on both boys and girls, however I feel fond of those who may be non-binary or another gender as well. For example, my ex (Who I've dated in year 7 to get a taste of what dating could be like since I was curious) was non-binary. I enjoyed their company a lot, however they decided to break up with me later on which was fine. As I went into year 8 I felt as if I was a lesbian; however in year 9 (The year I'm in currently) I feel as if I like both men and women, non-binary people and people who identify with other genders, however somedays I feel like I like men and women the most. How do I figure this out? Is it even normal to feel like this?

Guest_60161145 Sexuality & religion
  • replies: 3

I am a bisexual Muslim. Still haven’t come out to my family but all my friends know. I have a girlfriend, we’ve been together for a year and a half. I absolutely love and adore her and I see a future with her. I myself am not religious compared to my... View more

I am a bisexual Muslim. Still haven’t come out to my family but all my friends know. I have a girlfriend, we’ve been together for a year and a half. I absolutely love and adore her and I see a future with her. I myself am not religious compared to my family they are like hella and obv I’m scared to tell them in the near future. Does anyone have any suggestions they can help me out with how I could have this conversation. I love my religion but also there are things that I disagree with such as obv not being able to be in same sex relationship. I’m always confused about that because if it feels right then why did god make me this way why is he letting me have deep feelings for my girlfriend. Can you anyone please help me out I’m always in stress about this and I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my family or my girlfriend either.

Guest_93111541 Never dated before at 29yo
  • replies: 1

I'm 29 asian female lesbian and have never been in a relationship or even gone on a proper date. I've tried dating apps here and there, but most of my experiences have been with bots or just conversations that never led anywhere.I struggle with anxie... View more

I'm 29 asian female lesbian and have never been in a relationship or even gone on a proper date. I've tried dating apps here and there, but most of my experiences have been with bots or just conversations that never led anywhere.I struggle with anxiety — especially when it comes to putting myself out there — but I genuinely enjoy social things like going to concerts, seeing live shows, and spending time with people I connect with.Dating is something I really want to experience and grow into, but I'm not sure where to begin. I guess I'm looking for advice on how to navigate dating when you're starting a bit late and anxiety is part of the picture. However, I’ve often felt like if people don’t seem interested in being my friend, why would they want to date me? and it’s been hard to shake that feeling. I know it’s not always true, but that kind of thinking, mixed with anxiety and not knowing how to date, has held me back from putting myself out there.

JamesCarer Sharing my feelings when your world comes crashing down around you.
  • replies: 3

I guess it dawned on me today that I've lost everything. Pretty close to everything and in the space of a few months. I lost my mother, I lost my job, I lost my house, i lost 2 brothers and I lost my father. My mother passed away under palliative car... View more

I guess it dawned on me today that I've lost everything. Pretty close to everything and in the space of a few months. I lost my mother, I lost my job, I lost my house, i lost 2 brothers and I lost my father. My mother passed away under palliative care nextcto me at home as I was her carer for 15 years. The other family members, well, it's safe to say they aren'tand never were family. It's quite a lot for one person to come to terms with. Could it be worse? Definitely. Does it need to be? No, no it doesn't. I've never felt so isolated and alone in my life. I speak of my experience only, but the way I was born has denied me (or at least set me up to be more easily denied) a family, someone who can be a pillar for me and maybe a few kids who would remind me of love and trust. I don't have those. At 45, I fear that I probably won't. I can hear all the optomists looking for their rose-tinted glasses case, getting ready to tell me that I'm still young. The exceptions aren't the norm and I'll gladly be an exception, but at 45 I feel like most opportunities for me have come and gone. Whether I was still dealing with the trauma of believing I was born wrong and sick, or whether the other was still dealing with their trauma, whether I was adraid, immature, selfish or arrogant or the other was all that, the outcome is that at my age, I'm alone. Then, a more scary truth dawned on me. There's a real chance that's growing every day that I will die a lonely old man - or a lonely older man if life decides to treat me better and take me out earlier. It keeps me up at night and I have read so many other peoples' messages online that I know I'm not alone. So where does that leave me. I don't know to be honest. I take each day as it comes but days like today, I feel weaker, drained, sadder, more breathless and just standing up is exhausting. There's a hole in my stomach and a pain in my heart that keeps returning and reminding me that it's not over. Will it ever be? I don't know at this very moment. Perhaps, tomorrow I will have a clearer answer. Perhaps not.

Clues_Of_Blue Non-binary and tired, looking for positivity
  • replies: 6

For a little background, I only fairly recently discovered the right language to describe my gender identity (I'm in my 40s - better late than never). More recently still (in the last year), I came out as non-binary. It's been quite a journey already... View more

For a little background, I only fairly recently discovered the right language to describe my gender identity (I'm in my 40s - better late than never). More recently still (in the last year), I came out as non-binary. It's been quite a journey already. My husband is wonderfully supportive, as are our friends. Family, not so much - I had one spewing the standard anti-trans/non-binary hate speech I'm sure we've all come across online at some point. I do not speak to him any more. Generally speaking, I love being non-binary. It feels freeing to have a word for it, to have pronouns that actually feel right (they/them in my case), and to play with my style in a way that feels more honest. What doesn't feel so great is that using my right pronouns is basically a game of coming out all over again on a regular basis to anyone I meet, not knowing how people will react, sometimes being treated like a curiosity and asked really inappropriate, invasive questions by strangers. Also not really knowing anyone else who is non-binary/trans, having someone to talk to who knows what it's like to feel like someone ticked the wrong box on the assigned gender. Lastly, it's such a struggle to find positive spaces online for my demographic. Being as I'm a full-time carer who can't get out much, and the people I do see are all cis, it makes sense I'd look online for people like me. I've found a small number of social media pages and content creators that are fairly positive, but inevitably they have to address things like "transvestigators" outing their dead names, and/or throngs of transphobic people stalking thier pages to fill them up with hate speech. It's really nasty, and it all makes me so tired and sad. To be fair, I haven't experienced a lot of this in person, but being so isolated does mean that's most of what I'm exposed to, and it's still really disheartening. I guess I'm here looking for things like fellow non-binary/trans people to share life experiences with, recommendations for safe spaces online, maybe some tales of gender euphoria or positive interactions, cute things allies have done that made you feel good, all that sort of stuff. Something to make the world feel a bit less lonely and tiring for an enby who'd like to see a bit more of the joy side of gender-nonconformity.

bonkberry I fall in love with every person that gets too close to me
  • replies: 2

I'm a girl btw. I've had multiple best friends, and if it got to a point, even if we were strictly platonic, or they weren't LGBT, i'd still somehow want to fall in love with her, be with them the whole day, hugs, kisses & the like etc. Is this norma... View more

I'm a girl btw. I've had multiple best friends, and if it got to a point, even if we were strictly platonic, or they weren't LGBT, i'd still somehow want to fall in love with her, be with them the whole day, hugs, kisses & the like etc. Is this normal help

Ann55 Support groups
  • replies: 2

hello, I live in Brisbane and looking to connect locally with LGBTI community locally - can anyone recommend any groups or resources? Best wishes, Ann

hello, I live in Brisbane and looking to connect locally with LGBTI community locally - can anyone recommend any groups or resources? Best wishes, Ann

Mumofthree Daughter confused with sexuality
  • replies: 2

Hi all, our daughter is almost 17 & told us a 6 weeks ago she’s confused and she thinks she might be attracted to females or maybe Bi. This completely shocked me as she has always had boyfriends & dated her last boyfriend for over 2 years. We have al... View more

Hi all, our daughter is almost 17 & told us a 6 weeks ago she’s confused and she thinks she might be attracted to females or maybe Bi. This completely shocked me as she has always had boyfriends & dated her last boyfriend for over 2 years. We have always talked about boys, sex & everything. I’m finding it really awkward now and I don’t know how to approach conversations differently… I find I still say he’s cute or things like that because I know what boys she liked. We have told her we support her 100% & will always be here for her. Her issue is she doesn’t even know how to explore it to see if the feelings she is having are real. She said how can I be sure if I have never tried it. Does anyone have any suggestions? She has one friend she has spoken to but she doesn’t want anyone else to know as she doesn’t know herself yet. I suffer from anxiety & overthinking a lot…. My mind started instantly worrying about things that aren’t even an issue now & realistically won’t be an issue at all.Is it normal for a parent to feel a littlelost at this time as well? Hope this makes sense, thanks

Confused_gurl My husband just told me he is trans
  • replies: 22

So I have been married for over ten years and have two children with my husband. He told me last week that he feels like a female. I am hoping I am being supportive, asked about pronouns and explored what it means. He doesn't really care about pronou... View more

So I have been married for over ten years and have two children with my husband. He told me last week that he feels like a female. I am hoping I am being supportive, asked about pronouns and explored what it means. He doesn't really care about pronouns right now so when I write he and husband it is on his wishes. But I am so emotionally confused and just want someone to tell me this can work. I am not gay but I love him as a person and think I can still make this work.At the moment we are talking more openly and it feels great.. but he and I work in an environment that I feel if he does transition we will be fired. How do I support him through this without our whole world falling apart. Also how do you tell your kids these things without destroying them (they are 7 and 8). I am going to see a doctor next week to explore therapy and so is he but I guess what I am after is success stories... So yeah... That is my full on news...

AD80 Being gay is lonely and unfair
  • replies: 3

I struggle being gay as I find it very lonely and unfair. I’m 45 and my longest relationship was 3 years but he broke up with me by text and never came home. That was 5 years ago and I’ve been single since and only been on one date since. I’m quite d... View more

I struggle being gay as I find it very lonely and unfair. I’m 45 and my longest relationship was 3 years but he broke up with me by text and never came home. That was 5 years ago and I’ve been single since and only been on one date since. I’m quite decent looking and smart and nice, it’s just hard being in such a small segment of the population and I like “normal” masculine/guy next door types (I'm not into feminine, trendy or overly gay sexualised guys) and they are all straight and married. I’ve also been living in a regional town for the last 5 years as it’s hard to move to a city due to the housing crisis etc. It’s lonely and I find it really really depressing when every single attractive guy I see is married with kids and not interested in me in the slightest because I’m male. Or occasionally a good looking guy who wants to have sex but it’s just secret sex and degrading and leaves me feeling used and alone. I’m sick of online dating the guys have no common decency and have apauling treatment of each other and are so selfish. I recently met a guy online who just wanted sex but he was very attractive to me and the type of guy I’d like for a bf. I drove 400km to meet him and got a hotel and he stood me up. It was very upsetting/hurtful. Anyway I find being gay very unfair and upsetting. I wish I could meet a nice farmer and go and live with him. I’m getting old and wasting the best years of my life being single.