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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 224

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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beeswithnohoney Confused about what I'm feeling
  • replies: 0

Hi BeyondBlue! I hope this is okay to post here. I'm feeling really confused about a few things and not sure where else to go. For a bit of context: As far as anyone in my life knows, I'm a lesbian. I came out when I was 15 (I'm now 20), and I've alw... View more

Hi BeyondBlue! I hope this is okay to post here. I'm feeling really confused about a few things and not sure where else to go. For a bit of context: As far as anyone in my life knows, I'm a lesbian. I came out when I was 15 (I'm now 20), and I've always had a feeling that wasn't quite right, but I felt pressured to pick a label, so "lesbian" has been my default answer for years when anyone asks. Internally, I've gone back and forth on a few different labels. The one I come back to most is asexuality. I'm very uncomfortable with my own body and I have trouble picturing myself ever being with someone in that way. I've even wondered about being trans, but I do like most aspects of being a woman - I just hate the anatomical parts. I've ended up taking a "cross that bridge when I come to it" approach, which basically means avoiding the dating pool at all costs, and trying to pretend certain parts of my body don't exist. But I've finally come to the bridge, and it feels like everything I've stowed away is starting to pour out of the proverbial cupboard. I met a guy last weekend who I really hit it off with. We met at a function and spent the whole night together. I liked him a lot, and he was really good-looking, so when he asked me out this weekend, I said yes. Maybe this was wrong of me, but I kept the lesbian thing a secret. I was honestly excited to see him again, so I figured, what's the worst that could happen? But as the week went by, it started to plague my mind, and the excitement turned into sickness (by which I mean actual nausea and stomach cramps). I had a great time with him today, and I felt perfectly fine while we were out. It was pretty innocent - we just got to know each other and held hands, nothing crazy. But ever since I got home, I've had that same sick feeling, and I can't stop thinking about it no matter what distractions I turn to. I'm struggling to pinpoint exactly what's making me feel this way. I've gone back and forth on a few answers: maybe it's my body telling me he's the wrong person, or maybe it's the thought that he'll expect sex from me someday and I don't want that, or maybe it's the fact that so much of my life and social circle is centred around my queerness and dating a guy feels like a betrayal somehow. I'd have to re-come out to everyone I know, and I don't even know what to come out as. And the worst part is that I'd have to come out to him, too, and maybe even explain all this. So I guess it's a combination of things? But he wants to see me on Monday, which is a very short deadline to figure all of this out, and I have no idea what to do with myself. Any advice would be appreciated!!

waffle_puppy What do I do?
  • replies: 3

So recently my grandma came over which is something that ticks me off so much; I hate to say it and I am aware, but I seriously can't stand her no matter what. She constantly tries to remind me that I will get married to a man and that I must have ch... View more

So recently my grandma came over which is something that ticks me off so much; I hate to say it and I am aware, but I seriously can't stand her no matter what. She constantly tries to remind me that I will get married to a man and that I must have children and cook for my "future husband" no matter what. I understand that's how she was raised but she's pushing it onto me just because she never had a kid makes me feel awful. The thought of it sends a shiver down my spine; even by the mere thought of intimacy which I'd learnt a lot about in health class at school and would rather keep it at that because of how much it grosses me out. Anyways, when I told her I'm bisexual; she immediately lashed out at me for simply being myself. I stated that I prefer women, however I like men too but would rather keep it romantic; that's when things started to escalate. She told me that God made me this way and that I must submit to a man and have kids to have a perfect life. I shook my head and told her a simple "No, I am who I want to be." which made her frustrated, so that raised even more questions in my head (Which thankfully, aren't grandma related). So recently at my (potential) new art school, I was walking in a tour with some other people; and two people caught my eye. They were in the same grade group as I was for that tour, however that didn't help me with how much I was panicking over how gorgeous they both looked. One person was dressed masculine, and wore a baggy sweater paired with baggy jeans and had their guitar slung behind them in a bag; while they wore glasses and had shaggy long hair, the other person was a bit more feminine and wore a blouse with a plaid skirt and a low ponytail; which is what sent me into panic. But here's the real questions; "What if they're straight?" "What if they don't like me?" "What if they are disgusted by my sexuality/gender?" and I've been questioning if I am nonbinary/genderqueer as well recently, which also added another question to my head. What if they're put off by it? Gosh, what do I do? I've also been obsessing a lot over those two people I saw, so I apologise if this is all jumbled up or messy to read. They're both really pretty but I should probably become friends with them. I told this to my mom as well, however she told me to be with whoever I like the most, who is most likely the person dressed in a masculine way, but I liked the other person as well. What can I do?

sofaking FTM about to enter the real world. will life get better
  • replies: 2

17 year old FTM. DIY HRT for 2 years (do not give me an essay on why its bad, no doctor is going to prescribe me hormones until Im an adult, I would rather do this than let myself be poisoned further through endognous estrogen) I am only out to my fr... View more

17 year old FTM. DIY HRT for 2 years (do not give me an essay on why its bad, no doctor is going to prescribe me hormones until Im an adult, I would rather do this than let myself be poisoned further through endognous estrogen) I am only out to my friends, not a single adult at my Christian school knows, they probably think Im a freak of nature butch lesbian brainwashed by the gay agenda. once i leave school i hope to blend in and go stealth and avoid talking to people from my past life at all costs, except my family who i cannot entirely cut off but they also think im a freak of nature butch lesbian and will never change their views. Will i be able to go stealth at TAFE? legal name change n allat. I will never be able to bring anyone to my room to date because I would rather hang myself than come out to a stranger. I will be stuck being a 5,7 eunuch until 2030, is this life worth living? Will someone decide somethings up with me and go E-stalk and out me? Will people want to hunt down my old teachers for some reason? I hate being a FTM with every fiber of my being. I hate every second i am truly aware of my existence, the only time that I feel normal is when Im playing video games, watching cartoons or doing drugs, this will be my future for at least the next 5 years. If anyone else has suceeded at blatantly lying about their: entire childhood down to which toys they played with, which school they went to, the real reason their parents don't like them, sexuality. Please let me know. I have to talk to at least 1 teacher about changing my name by the end of September, as i would have to get my name changed for my graduation cert.

Guest_05656585 Where do I belong?
  • replies: 3

Hi, I’m Michi and still in high school but I would like some help on who I am. All of my friends are either straight or gay and I don’t think I belong under any of those terms, I just don’t know how to fit in. I also don’t think I’m asexual, I don’t ... View more

Hi, I’m Michi and still in high school but I would like some help on who I am. All of my friends are either straight or gay and I don’t think I belong under any of those terms, I just don’t know how to fit in. I also don’t think I’m asexual, I don’t know where I belong, it’s been like this for a year now and I just don’t know how my friends will react if I say I don’t know what gender I’m attracted to. It has been hard since most of my friends either have crushes or a lover, I don’t feel like I fit in with the society. Thank you for listening

Coastie1978 Gay Married butt kind of more bi? ,-fluid
  • replies: 1

I have been married to my partner 10+years. Together 20 years. I feel I am probably more sexual/physical and emotional. But also more open.... But he is completely opposite and to be honest I have not always been!!!... exactly...I don't particularly ... View more

I have been married to my partner 10+years. Together 20 years. I feel I am probably more sexual/physical and emotional. But also more open.... But he is completely opposite and to be honest I have not always been!!!... exactly...I don't particularly like myself for being more open (hate is the real word) but I also feel trapped and wish I could be more open and honest. He is adamant that maganomy is the way and while I can respect his view I feel that I don't fit In a box that he has In mind especially when I connect with the opposite sex. Would love to here from others in similar situation thanks

Confusedbihubby Help me I’m so stuck . Married closeted bisexual
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I’m a married bisexual man . Iv been married 17 years a love my wife more than anything . We have a great sex life amd I find my wife incredibly sexy . We have discussed myself possibly being bi in the past and have even discussed bringing a ... View more

Hi all, I’m a married bisexual man . Iv been married 17 years a love my wife more than anything . We have a great sex life amd I find my wife incredibly sexy . We have discussed myself possibly being bi in the past and have even discussed bringing a man into our sex life to experiment. Now I’ve known as long as I can remember that I’m bisexual . I’ve been with men before but only ever quick meets with random guys . I crave being intimate with a man and really embracing my bisexual side . I’d love most of all to do it with my wife but don’t feel I could really let go if she was present through fear of judgement or turning her off me . As far as she knows I question my sexuality where in all honesty I know I’m sexually attracted to men . I don’t want to lose my wife but also want to be true to myself . Any advice would be great as I guess I want to have my cake but eat it too without ruining my marriage. We also have 4 kids ranging from 26 to 7

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 224

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Sevismo I wish I was gay
  • replies: 2

I have just been wishing that I was gay more and more. I am definitely strictly only physically attracted to women. Despite this, I don't really feel comfortable with or close to women at all. I relate to men much more easily. I find it much easier t... View more

I have just been wishing that I was gay more and more. I am definitely strictly only physically attracted to women. Despite this, I don't really feel comfortable with or close to women at all. I relate to men much more easily. I find it much easier to get along with men and in general, men are much nicer and respectful to me, and in a more genuine way. I have always found it true that men are much more willing to get to know me and are more likely to appreciate me the way that I am. They also tend to have personalities, morals, values etc.. which align with mine. I find that men are just a lot more energetic, down to earth, grateful, loving and less shallow compared to women, at least the guys I know. I also appreciate the whole idea of masculinity; not that I hate femininity, but I just personally don't relate to it at all. Women are just mean to me. Never in my life has a woman ever accepted me or shown any interest in me (romantic and non-romantic), not even subtle. My interactions with them make me feel like I don't matter. I have had female friends in the past, and its the same. I find it hard to relate to them and they commonly made fun of me. The largest factor was becoming insecure about my height (5' 6). It's common sense that no woman can ever truly love a guy under 5'10, at least in the west. The thought that women will never accept me the way I am just pushed me even further away. I don't hate women and choose to treat people as individuals, but I do hate the fact that I'm biologically wired to be attracted to them. Dating women is not something I want to do. Other barriers preventing me from being gay are that I don't want to be more discriminated against, and because my family will probably disown me. These are things which I cannot compromise on. As a result, it is unfortunate, but it seems like I have no choice but to date women who hate me and will never appreciate me (even if I do end up loving them). In an ideal world, I would be in a relationship with a man, but that is never happening.

waffle_puppy I'm unsure..
  • replies: 6

(Thank you so much again for reading my posts and I understand it's been a while since I've posted anything but again, thank you so much ☺️) So recently I've been questioning my sexuality a lot, even when I told my parents about it (Especially my dad... View more

(Thank you so much again for reading my posts and I understand it's been a while since I've posted anything but again, thank you so much ☺️) So recently I've been questioning my sexuality a lot, even when I told my parents about it (Especially my dad ) he tells me that I must settle in so that I won't be confused for any longer, however I'm torn between feeling as if I might be Pansexual or Bisexual because I've recently had crushes on both boys and girls, however I feel fond of those who may be non-binary or another gender as well. For example, my ex (Who I've dated in year 7 to get a taste of what dating could be like since I was curious) was non-binary. I enjoyed their company a lot, however they decided to break up with me later on which was fine. As I went into year 8 I felt as if I was a lesbian; however in year 9 (The year I'm in currently) I feel as if I like both men and women, non-binary people and people who identify with other genders, however somedays I feel like I like men and women the most. How do I figure this out? Is it even normal to feel like this?

Guest_60161145 Sexuality & religion
  • replies: 3

I am a bisexual Muslim. Still haven’t come out to my family but all my friends know. I have a girlfriend, we’ve been together for a year and a half. I absolutely love and adore her and I see a future with her. I myself am not religious compared to my... View more

I am a bisexual Muslim. Still haven’t come out to my family but all my friends know. I have a girlfriend, we’ve been together for a year and a half. I absolutely love and adore her and I see a future with her. I myself am not religious compared to my family they are like hella and obv I’m scared to tell them in the near future. Does anyone have any suggestions they can help me out with how I could have this conversation. I love my religion but also there are things that I disagree with such as obv not being able to be in same sex relationship. I’m always confused about that because if it feels right then why did god make me this way why is he letting me have deep feelings for my girlfriend. Can you anyone please help me out I’m always in stress about this and I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my family or my girlfriend either.