Wondering what to do next.

[Greevus]

When I was younger I was a little crazy but I tryed to change so I wouldn't hurt people anymore........So I haven't lived with close family for over 20 years. I'm now in my early 30s and of all my friends I felt like I new what I wanted to do with my live early. Long story short iv just moved in with my mother and her partner after loosing my house and job. I haven't lived with my mum since I was nine and can count the number of times iv visited on one hand. I have a friend who has lived with me for a year before hand....they let us both move in with them...my friend is still young, early 20s and it's not going well. His a bit messy and all but he trys. I do appreciate them extending us the invitation to stay but now I feel like I rushed into something  I'm stuck in.. My point of view on it is..I spoke to my mum and her partner extensively before coming explaining exactly what my friend was like before moving(he has mental issues as well) but I see there point where he might come off as using people(I'm still on the fence) and needs to work as a housemate not just a friend. ....I have extreme anger issues i have worked threw alone for the entire time. I handle it very well 😅 iv never been near a doctor. I'm stuck in a situation iv created and I'm not sure how to handle this one..... I Would just ask my friend to move but honestly his like a 15 year old.. The only reason my mother and partner are together still is because I came here and sorted a bunch of domestic stuff with my brothers and sisters. They were going to split before I came but have really worked together in the last year.. So I feel a lot of guilt for still being here myself and then having my friend here on top of it. I would love to give them there house back but if I go rush to work right now I feel like I'm going to explode either at work or at home and 21 years of trying not to be that guy(I don't no how to explain It). I just hate who I can be when I'm angry.    Any thought on this one ?

[Croix]

Dear Greevus~

Welcome here to the Forum, I think it was a pretty good idea as you may be able to look around and find other people and see how they coped

It was generous of your mother and her partner to invite you into their house and I can understand the feeling you'd like to let them have time by themselves. However you said yourself before you came they were going to split up, and now they are together. That' a pretty big thing your influences has done. All things being equal would you feel it was good for you to stay -and they would be happy with that?

I guess there are some things to sort out, and I'd think one of the most important is to reduce your anger and also the ability to work without undue stress. This is not entirely straightforward as - at least in my own case - anger came as a means of dealing with things and people stressing me when I did not have the capacity left to attend to them. It was only when the causes started to be treated that it reduced, now I have sufficient mental capacity not being used up by depression, anxiety and PTSD to be able to handle everyday things and people

Although you are pleased you have not had medical help I would like to say that I only made real progress when I has that help myself. Perhaps it is something you might consider

If I understand you correctly you are not in a good place to start work again, and of course this ties you financially to your mum and her partner. I also get the impression that you there by yourself is OK with  them, it is your friend who is upsetting the apple cart (sorry if I've got it wrong).

Perhaps it might be the time to judge if in fact this person is a close friend, or just an acquaintance who is happy to live with you. I understand you may have doubts but are reluctant to do anything as he is immature.

Still if their presence is a problem then can you discuss the matter wiht your mum and her partner and see what they would really prefer? If they really do not want this friend around that might make things simpler. I'm not all sure that both of you leaving and the resultant pressure on you would be a good move as it may only make your anger problems worse. Then having moved you may find the new circumstances unbearable

It is a difficult set of circumstances and you are welcome here anytime

Croix