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Wits end

Community Member
Hi guys, this is my first post and really it's to help my partner and her son. I want to help so much but I really don't know what to do.

Here's the story.

My partner has two bys, 24 and 23 yrs old. Like chalk and cheese they are. One gay and one straight who has always struggled with his older gay brother. They're not close.
Their father died when the youngest was 16. My partner had separated from their dad at that point.
My partner met and married another guy who smoked a bit of cannabis and sometimes got a little violent. The youngest boy spent a lot of his time on the plays ration up in his room.

My partner eventually left the guy and moved to Australia to live with me. Her youngest son, 20 at the time she moved, has now lived in his own home for 2 years.

The communication between my partner and her youngest has almost completely broken down. They've never had a big argument and used to be so close.

He admitted a couple of weeks ago that he'd been taking some drugs and him and his mum both cried down the phone to each other.

Since then she's had almost no replies to text messages and his birthday came and went without them speaking. My partner tried but he said he was going out with friends for a meal and would call at the weekend..... He didn't....

What on earth should she do in this situation. It's hurting her so much.
1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Jeff..

Welcome to the forums...

I can relate to some of your partner’s story...My 2 adult sons stopped all conversation with me after I disclosed something that was kept secret from them after there dad passed away...(my husband)...

I used to ring them frequently and received no response, birthdays, Christmas, Easter, my grand children’s birthday etc..I started msging them...still no reply...

This went on for a couple of years and I was so heartbroken..Eventually I accepted that they needed their own time to accept the new circumstances..

Then I decided to send them one last message..I told them that I loved them unconditionally and if ever they need me..I’ll always be there for them....Then I let them go..but not in my heart...

A year down the track, I received a phone call from one of them..They needed me..So I drove the 7 hours to his place to help him.,,after spending a week their, with plenty of talking and crying from both of us....we reconnected..before I headed back home I called in to my younger sons to see him.... he used to occasionally msg me before but not visit or phone me....Eventually we worked things out and are getting close once more...

I think the best thing your partner can do..is to let him know that she is unconditionally their for him if and when he needs help....I think even on birthdays etc..wish him a happy birthday and reassure him that she will always be their for him....I think they need time to sort things out for themselves...at times..

I hope things work out for you all...Talk here Please whenever you feel up to it...We are here for you...