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Why does a person never admit to things?
My gf/partner in 3 yrs has never taken responsibility, owned or acknowledged anything not even when it's something she'll do often. Yet, has what she calls truths and no problem at all in saying and very bluntly to l might add, anything she thinks about something l've done or that l do . She might even do the same but that's either all ok for her that's different, or she'd just never admit to it and get all hurt that l should even suggest such a thing.
She's mostly a very loving and extremely caring person , incredibly so actually and she'll also happily do anything for you she can and is extremely supportive, above herself if need be. But where as she also has absolutely no problem at all in handing out complaints or asking me to change something l do or a habit , or even a need that is just me. Heaven forbid though l might have a complaint, that's taken in tears and as a direct hit on her character. What is that ?
She won't change or alter anything she does , not even a simple thing like one morning in bed she wouldn't even turn the light off at 7am when she woke up and wanted to do something on the pc. l mean this is just a very small thing there's far far bigger and more important things but even to this one tiny little thing as an example. l'm not a morng person and l hate light at the best of times let alone 7am and while l'm still asleep, she knows that, yet she refused point blank, she just did. She didn't even need the light on she was only reading and there was already morning light coming in.She won't change or compromise anything she does, nor even admit to it. Yet l often wake up early so l'll get up so as l don't wake her and go out to the lounge or somewhere, especially if l want to pc or she'll complain she can't sleep , let alone l turn the br light on .
Thing is that's her attitude with anything her, what is that, entitlement or what ? How do you handle things like that in a person, especially when they have absolutely no qualms whatsoever in the reverse? l mean you'll see stuff like this in an obviously arrogant self centered type , but not usually in someone as caring as what she is otherwise.
Wow, how frustrating for you. It could be ego, it could be entitlement. It could be selfishness or maybe she thinks that cos she's so giving & loving that she can do what she wants. Many people can't or won't acknowledge their own faults. They're just not open minded enough.
It's a tough one, especially as I know what you've been through already.
Yeah , and thanks for that. l've tried starting a thread about this one thing bc l'm not sure if it's just a personality trait, the person, or if it's some MH thing .
But yeah considering the other side to her as a person , this stuff just doesn't usually go with someone like that. Sometimes l've thought as giving as she is though, maybe it is an entitlement thing.
Always great to see you on the air
You mentioned that your girlfriend doesnt take positive criticism well....In a nutshell RX, do you think that you are in a 50/50 relationship? The problem with the light at 7am is its inconsiderate (just my humble opinion) Your girlfriend is a loving and caring person as you mentioned yet some common courtesy wouldnt go astray
I wouldnt appreciate the 'light' being on at 7am......The quality of your sleep is paramount...all other considerations (PC's...Cellphones) are unimportant
You are a kind guy who only wants some mutual respect in your relationship
Happy Easter RX
my kindest always...Paul
Your second one came through while l posted.
Egocentric , from the description, tbh , she does have on one hand a little bit of that edge, especially the first line. But and don't ask me to explain the contradiction but at the same time she also has the same thing about her man and whatever he's wants and needs or whatever his involved with, she'll do everything she can. Ask her to change something though, or complain about something - which she has absolutely as l say point blank no problem in doing herself to you, forget it.
Gday Paul and thanks for the thoughts , nice to see you to btw.
But yeah , exactly what l would've thought too. As l say the light was only a tiny thing there are far far bigger , but at the same time, it's also the perfect example.and pretty typical. l mean to my mind that's all about just plain consideration as you say. l'd never throw the light on at 7am if she was still sleeping but if l was to and she asked l turn it off, of course l would. But nope. Flat out refused.
Have a nice easter.
Hi again Paul , sorry l forgot to answer the other part.
Mate in some ways we'd actually be 70/30 my favor tbh really , bc on one hand she just loves looking after me and doing anything she possible can. But in other ways as in things l've talked about , that'd be completely reversed and nah , def' not even 50 50.
Hello RX, a person who never admits to being wrong, is someone who won't admit to being incorrect because if this does happen it affects their ego, just the same as another person who can't say 'they are sorry', it demeans their character and may also happen when you're living with a bully, they are always in the right and can't be undermined.
No worries mate....having a 50/50 balance is hard to find, yet that light you mentioned at 7am is not a small issue at all....It would be pain for me
You Rock RX....and Hey CMF....Its been a long time..You are a legend!
my kindest always