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Whirlwind roller coaster how do I get off this ride!

Mangof
Community Member
It's been a few months since I've been on here, not really sure what to say or think, but this is the only place I can go to things were looking great feeling so much braver,stronger came off meds doc is just waiting for me go back to see him as he said I should stay on them ...... Tried to prove everyone wrong but I'm falling fast back feeling worthless and not enough for those I love just been told my sister is terminally sick and may need a transplant how do I be strong for her if I feel so weak panic attacks coming hard and fast trying to smile , if my hubby leaves me it's understandable how much more can he tolerate? Right? So sick of worrying it's exhausting and I end up doing stupid irrational things that just don't make sense when do you ever get your headspace back? Like it used to be I'm living with depression and anxiety but it just feels like I'm the one that's hanging on for dear life it consumes me and leaves me dumb struck and intensely sad any advice would be great
6 Replies 6

Doolhof
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Mangof,

Due to some complications, I came off my medication under Drs supervision for a few months. During that time I slowly progressed down hill. A different medication was tried.

I'm more stable and realise that my body and mind need the medication. Without it I do not function so well. On returning to my Dr he was disappointed for me that things did not work out differently. At the same time he was very encouraging about needing to take medication again.

For those of us needing medication, it does not mean that we are weak in any way. It does not mean that we are inadequate. It just means our brains are lacking in certain chemicals and we need help to find a balance.

I'm really sorry to read about your sister as well. That must be horrible for you all.

It may be time to take some medication again, even if it is just to help you through this rough patch. Go and chat with your Dr.

Wish I had some wise words and wisdom to share with you!

Cheers form Mrs. Dools

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi Mangof, people do want to stop taking any medication for their depression, anxiety or any of the long list which comes under depression, simply because they feel that they are strange or abnormal and that other people will start talking about them, well don't most people talk about someone else, rumours are always rife, but wouldn't it be much better to feel well.
I'm sure your husband wants you to get better and when you are seeing your sister another inner strength will suddenly appear, but then break down when you leave her.
If the medication you were taking gave you unpleasant side-effects, then there is huge amount of different types which your doctor can prescribe for you, because he knows that you aren't ready to stop taking them.
I'm not sure how long you have been suffering, but it would seem as though it's been for a long time, as I'm not privy to your other 39 posts and what has been discussed, so if you want to you can let us catch up to how long you have been suffering. Geoff. x

Mangof
Community Member

Hi Mrs Dools and Geoff,

what a welcome relief to see you both reply thanks so much I have followed you both n the past and along with white knight have valued your input and support.

i have been battling both depression and anxiety undiagnosed since I was five according to my psychiatrist was a shock as you could understand but officially diagnosed nearly two years ago now it was great to have something to call what I was experiencing and yes the stigma that came with it all was and to some degree still is daunting.

went to see my doctor yesterday and he happily provided a new medication it's new but the reviews sound promising and although it's not covered by pbs my husband is supporting giving it a go so we will see.

yes it's emotional about my sister but she has family support and amazing friends so I think we will be ok there too now I've calmed down!

No two days are the same it's draining to deal with especially when anxiety takes hold it seems to open doors to all the uglies...... The jaw is aching and sadness floods in I agree sometimes medication is the answer I look forward to fog less days again thanks so much for just caring it means so much not just me but to all you come in contact with.

sending hugs and a smile to you both 🙂

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
dear Mangof, it's always great to get people to reply to our comments so thank you.
I'm so pleased and have my fingers crossed for you, and can I just say that sometimes when starting a new type of medication there maybe minor side-effects or perhaps seemily awful and unpleasant feelings, but these may dissipate rather quickly, but the aim is to look to the future and what it will do for you, and please let us know. Geoff. x

Mangof
Community Member

Thanks Geoff,

side effects isn't it funny how medications vary the last ones I had side effects but they helped and well we will see with the new one.

my doc reckons these will help me feel so much better and then I can get a job, sounds so easy right, I replied so when they kick in will you give me a job? His facials changed then didn't they lol for an educated man his mouth seemed to run faster than his brain I left his room with a little grin he has no knowledge of my work history or the incredible people and situations I have been privileged to be a part of. People and stigma judges those with mental illness it's always going to be that way so thankful that BB is available a forum and safe place to come to,to refocus and take that next step, between sunrise and sunset lies a million moments,seconds and for me just moving forward is the next goal.

stay happy

mangof

Doolhof
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Mangof,

All the best with the new medication. I so hope it makes a positive difference for you. Like Geoff mentioned, you may experience side effects. If you are concerned about them at all, make an appointment to see your Dr. talk to a pharmacist at the chemist, ask for information sheets about the medication and don't be too fazed by all the information.

My husband and I recently invited a niece out to dinner and the movies for her birthday. She was in a really bad place mentally. She has Borderline Personality Disorder and was all over the place. She left after dinner and couldn't handle staying for the movie.

We were both in shock to see her in such a state. I called my sister and we talked for about 1/2 an hour. Sometimes my niece comes off her medication, when she does she usually falls apart. How my niece can find a job in that state is unimaginable. Some people just don't get mental health issues.

There has to be work out there for you in the first place. I'm leaving my work due to a long standing back injury. I have no discs left in three places in my lower back. I went to an employment advisory place for people with disabilities. The lady told me I could go and work in a home for the elderly as they now have lifting machines! I asked her how did she think the people managed to get in the lifting machines in the first place?

Like you mentioned, between sunrise and sunset there are a million moments. I hope that your moments are more positive, that you can plan ways to move forward and also accept when you go backwards or stand still. We all have days like that.

Cheerio for now from Mrs. Dools