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When you know it's hopeless but you keep trying.
Hi Lolue, welcome
That hollow feeling I know too well. Hurt, pure hurt.
An old man once told me "never go backwards" i think he was right because we tend to forget how bad things were and- it wont change.
You have done well going on dates, continue to do so. Time will heal and true love will help even more.
Youll know you have met a netter guy when...he wants you back after a split
I'm very sorry you feel so bad at the moment. If a relationship means anything at all at the time then there is an awful lot of grief and loss when it ends. Maybe this is even worse than if someone dies, as the object of you affections is still in view - and seems almost attainable.
People say that as times goes on the heart views the past with rose-tinted glasses, and I guess to some extent that is true. Here you acknowledge his faults but still want to put the clock back. Perhaps your mind is remembering all the good things you felt and not the bad ones. Unrealistic.
So what to do? Well you said you were the sort of person that fought for someone you love, it really is time you fought for you. You have started by going out on other dates. By posting here.
Try to imagine a proper relationship, where your partner is there for you - not someone who is calculating and says it won't work - who wants you happy and secure.
Tony WK is quite wise in saying "Youll know you have met a better guy when...he wants you back after a split"
I've faced loss, and it does get better, then you meet someone else.
I have just read Tony and Croix's helpful and caring replies to you.
Breakups are so hard and emotional.
You understand that you are 'wasting your time on someone who cna't even reply with a no or a go away' and you have dates who want to go out with you but you say you are still focused on the ex. As Croix says it is timeyou fought for you focused on you.
Many people will relate to your story and your honesty. I had a relationship break up and even though I wasn't happy in the relationship I kept worrying if I had done the right thing.
Then I started looking forward and not backwards . It is not easy and it does take time but it is worth the effort.
The very last thing I want to do is hurt you, however I would be doing you a disservice if I did not tell you how things look from the outside.
You broke up with this person, and although you did not say why that chances are it was for a reason that seemed good at the time.
You changed your mind and wanted to get together again, but was rebuffed. Now this refusal seems to me to be important because it did not take you feelings into account, but simply coldly calculated the odds.
Since then you have tried to contact you ex-boyfriend and have had no reply. He was not even prepared to see you got your book back.
This does not look in the least hopeful.
Again I'm very sorry you are so grief-stricken by this ending, however you can't prop up a relationship all by yourself, it takes two, and if he is simply not willing then you are stuck. While you may feel it is possible to work things out he shows no sign of being willing to so this.
There are often reasons when one cannot accept the ending of a relationship. Wishful thinking is one, a feeling that because you put so much effort and emotion into it there must be something there. Perhaps even that it was the only one for you and there'll never be another the same.
I would suggest that even if your heart cannot break away you act as if it has, go on dates and resume your life as best you can. In time things will change.
Break ups suck but what sucks more is dwelling in the past.
Your ex is an 'ex' for a reason. He's in the past and you have to move forward.
He got together with another girl so he isn't really worth fighting for. Waste your energy on working on yourself instead. Some ideas - join the gym (the group fitness classes like zumba is fun!), go out more with your girlfriends, pick up a hobby etc.
Do your best not not think about him. Block/delete him off social media if you find yourself constantly checking up on him.
Remember the saying - there are many fishes in the sea? It's true.