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What do I do???

Community Member
Me and my bf have been together for 10 months and we live together (started as a house mate), Anyways due to my past I have trust issues which he knew from day one. However, he betrayed my trust on a number of occasions including lying to me and flirting with any female that moves. He knows I not approve and am not happy about it, but he doesn't see the issue. I found numerous things he lied to me about on his phone and I just don't know what to do. I love him so much and had very much planned a future with him, but he's terrible at communicating. He unfortunantly is a trigger and is a weakness. He's never physically cheated on me, but I just can't seem trust him. What do I do?
1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion


Welcome to Beyond Blue.

Your bf flirts with any female and has lied to you, and terrible at communicating.

I also notice that you have not gone into any specifics, and I am not asking you to for that matter. However, it is obvious that it must be considerable enough for you to have to post here?

I hope that if I ask you some questions you might be able to work out a solution? And/Or talk more here.

Lies... So, my first thought was this - What are the lies? Are they "little" things that you wish he told you? Or are they major? If he told you about the things that became lies before they occurred, would you be upset? ie if your bf was being honest with you.

(Bad) Communication...You said that he is bad at communicating. I wonder if this is related to the lies? What do you want him to tell you? Do you want him to talk more? Or, again, is it relating to honesty?

Flirting... My own thoughts are that if someone does something which the partner disapproves of is disrespectful. Others might argue that flirting is healthy. Maybe ask him why he does it?

A "good" relationship (whatever that means) needs communications, honesty, and compromise between both persons. Other attributes are patience and understanding. So.... do you need to have a deep and meaningful conversation with your bf? At the same time, be able to do this without it devolving into an argument? Because I can see that you do have love for your bf, and the trust issues become a stumbling block.

I hope this helps a little. And that you might be able to find an answer (or partial answer) somewhere in there. Let me know what you are thinking.

Peace, Smallwolf