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Want to have a romantic connection with someone, just anyone.
Im not new to this I've been here a couple of times, i really am looking for ways to connect with others as I'm very lonely and upset at this point. Just for anyones information, i am 16 years old and i am diagnosed with high functioning autism, as you may know autism makes things like this a real big struggle and challenge. I just really want someone to notice how hard i try instead of focusing on thee thought that, "he's autistic he doesn't know how i feel." but i really want to know how people feel and develop a connection with them
I need help guys. If anyone is willing to help please feel free, id really appreciate it
welcome to beyond blue.
a friend of mine has a child with autism, and the child desperately wants to do things right, otherwise the world caves in. Probably different to your situation but this child also gets help to learn how to the function in everyday society. my knowledge outside is minimal outside of what I can read, but one thing I can do is listen, and one thing you can do is to educate me and others of the that which you might struggle with.
do you want to tell me a little of your story? And if I can help in any way...
Hello Tim, Thank you for your reply,
I would feel honoured that someone wants to listen to how my life is,
When i was in year 6, there was this girl i really liked, i was underdeveloped as a child and wasn't sure how to comprehend emotions until it just snapped in me one day about how i felt. i tried talking to this person pouring my heart and soul out to this person, and i just got a straight no, i knew this person well she just obviously didn't want to get to know me,
Ever since this Incident, every time i try to do the so called "flirting" method its just so tough for me and i cant seem to comprehend why. after researching about how my disability affects me i've come and stayed to the conclusion that i am hopeless and can never and ever will be able to read emotions or comprehend them thanks to the way i was born, with autism.
I have plenty more to tell you as long as you are interested but i believe this should be enough at the moment by giving an example and how it make me feel
Thanks for your reply, i hope this is enough at the moment to get some help
I think it's worth acknowledging that you reaching out and being open about how you're feeling in such a is a really wonderful thing and it shows that you're trying. I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling lonely and upset, I can hear that you want to be recognised for who you are as a person rather than the fact of living with autism. It's difficult when people treat you a certain way due to differences they don't understand and make assumptions about you, it's very isolating. We could get to know you better if you'd like to tell us a little more about yourself? 🙂
hi trophyeyes, thanks for the reply,
funny you posted at this time, i just posted a reply to another person giving an example of when i tried to make a connection and how it made me feel, if you want to know a bit about me, i always put others before myself, i care about others and very rarely think about myself, i really like making connections with others, i love video games from time to time and i love a bit of anime every now and then. now i understand that might make me look antisocial but i balance it out well.
Thanks for the reply, i hope this is enough information for now, i hope you are willing to continue this conversation as i'd really appreciate it.
Hi Ben 👋,
I just wanted to say welcome to the forums. If I was 20 years younger, you would be just the type I go for, caring and sensitive, and you seem able to express yourself well. I think the thing with pouring your heart out too soon with a person is that you don’t know that person yet and if they can be trusted with your heart and feelings. I always tend to hold back a little bit to protect myself and I’m sure that they’re interested. You can start slow, ask them out to the movies or lunch. If they’re interested, they’ll most likely say yes and if not, no harm done. Plenty of people with autism, or aspergers etc have a relationship. But like everyone, it just takes a bit of time to find the right person who understands you. But you show a lot of insight into how it may affect your interactions, and you also sound like a really positive upbeat guy to be around.
I think it's important to consider that our emotions and hormones are all over the place at that age, just as they are when you're a teenager and into early adulthood (but that's not to say you can't learn about them and about yourself throughout that time to have better awareness and more control!) I remember when I was in grade six I was such an anxious child I could barely speak to anyone outside my friend circle let alone tell someone I had a crush on them. It's pretty tricky to try and comprehend emotions at that age! It would have been upsetting for you to feel that rejection because it really sucks, but I want to remind you that experiences like that don't reflect how all of your experiences will be and it doesn't predict how all people (or girls) will treat you, though yes I know that's much easier said than it is done and to believe. What I do know for certain though is that you are not hopeless - whether you live with autism or not. Knowing how to regulate and communicate our emotions can be really overwhelming and hard for all of us at some points of our lives, and based off what you've said, caring about others and enjoying making connections with people are lovely traits that I think you should be proud of. However, you also deserve to care for yourself, even if it's in small ways. You're worthy of self care Ben!
What kind of video games do you like to play?
thanks for your reply this really helps,
i like fps games as it helps me focus and block out other distractions for a while to help calm me down
Thanks for the reply, good to see that a woman is interested in how i feel i thank you for your advice, this really helps,
ill be keeping frequent updates and i hope you guys and girls stay for the journey as i would really appreciate it,