Verbal abuse and meds

[Manx]

Hi.

I've never posted here before but I'm stuck and not sure what to do or how to approach this situation. My partner of almost 10 years has been verbally abusive to me over the years and I have been called all sorts of horrible names and been yelled at. I spoke to him numerous times about it and he always talked about fixing his verbally abusive behavior but things only improved slightly.

But about a year ago, he accidentally read my diary (which wasn't hidden anyway) and realised how badly it was affecting me and my intention of leaving after the next episode. He decided to see a counsellor and psychiatrist and ended up being on anti-depressants. Things improved significantly and I thought that our relationship was finally on the mend.

But he has suddenly decided that he was better and that he doesn't want to take anti-depressants anymore and stopped abruptly this week.

He is a grown man and I understand that I can't make him do anything against his will but I'm terrified that he will go back to his old ways. I've told him that the tablets were helping him but he doesn't seem to want to listen. I don't think I can stay in the relationship anymore if he starts verbally abusing me.

I wonder if I could somehow get him to stay on the meds?

[CJs_mum]

Hi and welcome to BB. Thank you for taking the daunting step of reaching out on here.

while my (and everyone else's) experience is slightly different, you are not alone and are safe here.

you will find information about medication on this and many other sites but I also hope you find support and understanding.

i understand what it's like to be on medication and then suddenly feel ok and that I don't need the meds any more - only to find months or years later I actually do need them.

Wach person is different but it really does seem to help if someone taking medication has a GP/psychs help getting off them gradually as it can be difficult.

and yes, while he is an adult and can make his own mind up, I can see there may be a problem going cold turkey. He may become moody or may be fine but will need to ensure he has support and counselling in case those negative feelings come back.

It sounds like you could use someone to talk with too about your concerns about his/his behaviour - or maybe you could see if you could chat to his GP about him coming off his meds?

ultimately you have a choice:

You could talk it over with your partner, wait and see what happens or tell him strongly you won't put up with any abuse. You don't deserve any at all, so don't take any.

good luck