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Unemployed and depressed

R.Penn
Community Member

Hi

 

I feel really depressed today, I am unemployed and have been so since December 2022. I worked for two months prior to that at Aus Post as a Christmas casual and before that I was unemployed for 2 years since covid. I have been told by everyone that doesn’t get to see me everyday to “ just get a job”… they aren’t seeing me. I went to my job provider today and he was a complete bully again, I have been exhausted trying to stand up for myself and am sick of this system we live in. It’s failing so many people. I feel depressed mainly because he called my process of finding work pathetic… and am I just going to continue searching online for a job and filling in my obligations… he is supposed to help me and be empathetic. I feel like I shouldn’t listen to him but criticism echoes in my head. My good friend told me that I need to get my self confidence back on text, and it just hurt. I am quite aware of how I am feeling and what’s going on. I am trying. I am trying to find my way in this world. I was an artist, it was a brave choice and it was stupid because it got me no where but poverty, I lost my imagination due to life events, depression and the general survival stress of trying to get by. I was not born into a family of wealth but I did not have a terrible up bringing either, not great but it wasn’t bad compared to others stories. It’s dysfunctional like everyone else’s. I just need a break, I need to find somewhere I feel SAFE to work and I wont be harassed by men at work. I am sick and tired of having to have to explain myself. I just want to be GOOD at something again. Hearing the word Pathetic today just makes me spiral into negativity again when I have been trying to find hope and positivity. I feel so shit and like I shouldn’t be here I am useless waste of space on the tax system. These job providers need to get in the bin, they are all show, and image and no action. No empathy for people. I don’t have anyone I can talk to thank you for listening. I have worked it’s just I am never good enough for a permanent role where I can stay long term. I don’t fit in this world anymore. 

4 Replies 4

David35
Community Member

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. But just remember, how you feel doesn't necessarily make it true. The fact you've reached out here shows that you ARE interested in getting work. It's just not as easy as others make it out to be. People tend to mock things they don't understand. I'm unemployed, on a disability pension, for medical reasons, and one of the most hurtful things someone has ever said to me was by my brother. "Just get a job!" he yelled at me one day. But, he didn't understand the nature of recovering from a head injury and the limitations it places upon people.

Having Centrelink staff criticise you only adds to the pressure, which prevents you from being able to think straight. So the staff, and I've experienced it too, can be quite demeaning and in turn, counter-productive to meet your goals. I was on one scheme (Commonwealth Rehab Scheme) whereby as a qualified engineer, a field I could no longer work in due to my brain injury, I was being almost forced to apply for trade roles (welders, metal fabricators, etc.). I had to explain to the lady that even though engineers work with tradies, we aren't qualified to do their work. I would need to go to TAFE for 4 years to complete an apprenticeship. Most of the staff at Centrelink have no comprehension about the realities of different industry sectors. A lot of their jobs are incentivised, so they get paid every time they fill a place, regardless of whether it's appropriate for you. Their frustration with trying to fit a square peg into a round hole means they lash out at you, because of their own ignorance. You can't reason with ignorance. So don't worry about what they think.

So what are your options. Sometimes what we enjoy is fun, but doesn't pay the bills. Is art something that could remain a hobby whilst you look for other types of work? Is that an option? It would at least get Centrelink off your back, destress a bit, and then allow you to reconsider your options in the future.

If art is what you really want to do, then are there studios / galleries places where you could maybe sell work as a freelancer? I know nothing about the art world, so take this last suggestion with a grain of salt.

R.Penn
Community Member

Thank you David35. Thank you for your kind and supportive words. I haven’t been doing well but get to see my psychologist next week. I am sorry to hear about your injury and your brothers insensitive shouting… my sister and best friend did the same not long ago. I think they get frustrated also. It’s very counterproductive. I feel so pressured this week and my brain can’t think about anything else. You are so right about how they just think because you have a qualification in something means you can do anything they choose for you. They do get frustrated. Ignorant indeed. I hope you don’t have to go into see them often, I am not sure how the disability pension works but I think the whole system needs to change. Have you heard of the AUWU? 

In regards to my art, I did freelancing for a while and yeah I want to keep it at a hobby level for now as I ruined my interest and love for it by trying to make money from it. I just don’t know what else I am good for… I might end up studying again mid year at tafe to keep my mind busy. I think I would like to just completely off the system and work but that’s going to take time again. Engineering is very interesting, can you still work at home on projects or did you have to give it up? What kind of engineering? My dad is a fitter and turner by trade and a surfboard shaper. Not sure if that’s precisely engineering. 

Juliet_84
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

It can be so hard to find a job you like and can maintain long term. I have a chronic medical condition and a lot of anxiety and depression around that and people don’t understand the battle it took to get into the office every day, and by the time I got there I wasn’t in the right headspace to concentrate properly day in day out. Unfortunately work expects you to keep your home life at home, and life doesn’t really work like that. I ended up changing careers to a job I knew I could work from home and that has made a big difference to my life. Of course, a huge part of your work life is the people you work with and you can’t know that before you start at a place. I know a friend of mine did mystery shopping as a job, it wasn’t a huge amount of money but she could choose how many she did, she got free meals out of it and was her own boss essentially. Might be an ok transition into things but not too arduous? I obviously don’t know you so am just trying to tell you what my friend found helpful and potential out of the box alternatives. If i was trying to think of things to do, I’d write down a whole list of things that are important to me and then look for jobs that best fit that. 

David35
Community Member

I got a formal diagnosis of a frontal lobe brain injury from a psychiatrist which allowed me to get on the DSP. So I no longer had to deal with Centrelink. The upside was that it freed me up financially to redirect my life into getting better, by doing volunteer work and pursuing a woodworking hobby. The downside is that it meant I could no longer work in mechanical engineering again either. The nature of my injury, which has improved considerably since then, meant that I couldn't hold a job down in such an intellectually demanding role. Which is probably why I enjoyed working with timber, because it's a combination of working with your hands and your mind. I fall into the same trap too with my woodworking. Once I sell a few items, I get overly ambitious and then become disappointed when I can't make any money from it. The fact is, unless you have some woodworking trade behind you (cabinet making, carpentry, furniture making) it's very hard to make money on your own. Some do, but they're very experienced and skillful, which I'm not!

Fitter and turners work on lathes I understand. So they work with engineers to make all sorts of metal parts. The engineer designs it, the fitter & turner actually makes it. It's a highly skilled trade.

Maybe try a short course in something that interests you. I did that with woodworking at TAFE to learn some of the basics. You're never too old to learn!