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Trust and Anxiety issues in relationship

Community Member
My partner has shown reason in the past to not trust him. When i do trust him he lets me down. Im to scared to trust him cause i dont want to get hurt. We have tried taking baby steps to build trust e.g. him going out for a few hours with friends but it always fails on his end because he cant keep to his word and he is easily influenced by friends especially when intoxicated. Also when he drinks too much he doesnt know what hes doing and wont rememberthe next morning either and this exact thing his happened before where hes found out a week later that he had been unfaithful to me. So because of all this and my anxiety over it i dont let him go out with his friends unless I'm with him. I know thats unhealthy and it has gotten worse since we've had kids. Sometimes it feels like the kids arent a priority to him. He has said we would be better apart but we continue to stay together. I cry about this a lot especially when i think about losing him and being alone. I have family to turn to but i have no close friends that i can go to for extra support. We are both young (19 & 21) and have been together for 3 years and i feel like I've learnt to depend on him to much that now i dont know how to be independent and on my own. We do love each other and both don't want our family broken up. How do i learn to trust and get over my anxiety?
3 Replies 3

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Beth, welcome

being so young you can be forgiven for making mistakes. The trouble is, you mentioned you have kids. That makes choices more difficult.

Imo its all up to you. I think it highly unlikely he will change his ways for at least 10 years if not more.

I strongly suggest a meeting with Relationships Australia.

Tony WK

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member


sorry to hear you're going through this.

One thing I can sAy is that it's not up to you to LEARN to trust him, it's up to him to EARN your trust.

If you both really loVe each other and want to be together as a family his behaviour needs to change.


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi Beth, the love maybe there but trust is what you need for a relationship to survive, and even if he was intoxicated surely something must kick in that he knows that he shouldn't be unfaithful to you, and what may happen is that he may say he's going out for a legitimate reason but actually be hooking up with his mates and suffer the consequences the next day.
Has he given you a reason why he thinks you would be better off apart, or is this an excuse so that he can go out drinking with his mates and then choose what he wants to do.
Love is such a powerful word but it also works in many different ways. Geoff.