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Trouble letting go

Community Member

He everyone,

New to the forum, could do with some support.

My parter ended our relationship just over a month ago. We were together for 2 years. We have definitely had our up and downs along the way, myself not ready for commitment at the time when she was, got us off to a rocky start. She suffers from ptsd and she finds it hard to open up especially about her feelings. I suffer from anxiety, and can be quite negative towards my feeling also. But at times would bring each other down with our negative thinking.

Don't get me wrong, we had a very strong connection from day one and I have never felt the way I have towards her in any of my past relationships. I loved her and she also loved me.

Unfortunately she went a bit off me a few days prior to the breakup so I asked her what was wrong but she couldn't give me a real answer to why she started feeling the way she did. Stupid me gave her the altermatum and she decided to end things.. I had to move back to me parents place (I'm 33) which was quite hard after many years of living away from them.

I messaged her the next day to try and organise I time we could talk about what had happened, but I got "you said it was my decision, I've made it. It's done now. I need you to give me space and I'm not going to re-consider"

As you can probably tell, I have been an absolute mess the for the last mont. I haven't been sleeping, my anxiety has been out of control and I had had to take time off work due to stress.

I meeaged her a few days ago and expressed my feeling towards her, we both need to work on ourselves right now and I respect her decision. I do want us to be together again.

All I got back from her was thanks for the message, not to be too had on myself moveing forward and to take care of myself and people you bring into your life in the future...

It felt like such I strange and cold message to receive from her. I dont know if this is something she can't really express because it's too hard for her.

I'm just left confused and emotional unstable right now. It's just really hard to let go.

1 Reply 1

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi there E_motions,

Welcome to the forum, you'll find lots of kind supportive people here which always helps when we're going through a tough time

I'm really sorry for what your going through, break ups are so painful and it sometimes feels like the pain will never go away.

But it will go away and after some time you will start to feel like yourself again

I wouldn't overthink her messages too much, she may just be trying to distance herself from you thinking it might make things easier for both of you.

The best thing you can do right now is focus on yourself.

Do you have friend or family that can support you through this? Maybe talk to your GP if you are really struggling, they can be a really big help in times like this too.

Try and keep busy, do the things you enjoy and take each day as it comes. Go on a weekend away if you want,start a new project or learn a new skill; these are all things that can keep your mind occupied.

I would try to avoid contacting her if you can, I know its hard but it is the best thing for you to just try and shift the focus onto yourself.

In having this time apart you may realise that the relationship ending was the best thing for you or you both may reconnect down the track if that's what you want.

I'm sorry I couldn't offer you more help, please take care of yourself and post here any time