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Hello and welcome to the forum. I am very sorry you had such an abusive childhood with the resulting effect on your life. This should not happen to children who are supposed to be protected. I am also sorry you have waited so long for an answer from us. We do not neglect the people who write in here but sometimes things slip through the cracks.
Did you call the Kids Helpline or beyond blue? I hope you found some support and help.
You have had such traumatic experiences that maybe it would help if you spoke to a professional mental health person. I'm not sure how old you are or if you are working. I am guessing you have a job as you want to leave home and set up your own home which of course needs money. I'm unsure why leaving home would cause your family shame. There was a similar thread a while ago where the person wanted to leave home but because of their family customs leaving home was not acceptable. Is this your difficulty?
Can you talk to your parents about leaving? In Australia leaving home is normal. In fact many families expect adult children to move into their own accommodation. That way the person still has family support and a place of refuge if necessary. This is something you could discuss with a professional MH person.
After you left hospital did you continue to with therapy? Is that still happening? I believe it would be a good idea to find another therapist if you do not see anyone at the moment. Have a chat with your GP about it all.
I am concerned about the load of grief you are carrying and its effect on you. It must make everyday life difficult. Please reach out to those who can help such as your GP. Also it would be good if you continued to write in here.
Thanks for your reply. I thought this was the difficulty about living on your own. I can appreciate how difficult this is when two cultures clash over these sort of actions. My first thought is to ask how much you want to leave home. I can understand the pressure you are under to stay at home and the hurt arising from this situation. I wish I could give you an answer that would solve all your difficulties. I see you have a casual job and getting shifts is difficult because of COVID. It may be better to wait before you tackle leaving home at the moment as you may not get enough work to cover your rent and food etc.
Are you seeing a therapist still? I think it would be helpful if you did. You have a complex history of abuse and it would be helpful if you could start to express your grief etc. As I said above, if you do not have a therapist at the moment your GP will be able to help. I take it you have your own Medicare card. If not then go into your nearest Medicare office and apply for a card of your own.
I know it's hard struggling along on your own which is why I suggest finding a therapist. In the meantime the Beyond Blue 24/7 helpline is available on 1300 22 4636 and the Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800. Both are very good resources.
Do your parents know about the abuse when you were five? What do they think about this? I think it's important that significant people in your life know about these things and give you support. Again I am not sure about the cultural implications of this sort of abuse in your life. I would like to think your abuser was charged with this offence but I know so often families want to push it away for various reasons.
Please continue to post in here if it helps.
Hi white rose,
Thank you for the reply I’m currently seeing a domestic violence psychologist and I’ve seen many other health professionals to help with my mental health issues and I both them and I have realised that I haven’t been recovering from my mental illness and realised that whenever I was outside of my family environment I was a completely different person and Despite the medication I’m taking,despite the family therapy sessions Ive had with them,despite the healthy eating and the exercise I do everyday I noticed that the issue was my environment