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Tired of not being enough

CaitieLiz80
Community Member

We've been in Lennox Head for the past 8 days. It's been beautiful weather the past 3 and we have soaked in the sunshine.

I sadly have had arguements with my husband and tonight's has ended with him walking away and me in a panic attack. I've never used a forum for this kind of thing so I do apologise for rambling on.

I am struggling with major depression and medicated. I have a very supportive husband but I've been too much for him today and now I've messed everything up.

I'm tired of never being enough and for causing him to feel as he does.

I guess I would like to hear I'm not alone and perhaps some advice on where to next.

Thank you.

5 Replies 5

BballJ
Community Member

Hi CaitieLiz80,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. Well done for reaching out.

I think a lot of us have had a big arguments with our partners before.... when you say walking away as in as he stated the relationship is over or just walking away to give you and him a bit of space? I would firstly think it will be ok as they say, cooler heads will generally prevail and it isn't that uncommon to argue on holidays either. I would say that give it the night to calm down and possibly talk to each other in the morning when you are both calmer and thinking clearer and just talk it out. Don't raise voices or anything just talk it out.

May I ask are you speaking to a counsellor regarding your depression? Possibly couples counselling may be an avenue to explore, especially if you are suffering from a mental health concern, it may help you both in the relationship?

My best for you and your partner,

Jay

Hi Jay.

Thank you for your understanding reply. Things sadly aren't very good this morning. I don't want to keep trying anymore. I am so upset and hurting and very down.

My husband did not come back for over 2 hours. Durung this time I looked after the kids and did my best to have afew card games with them. I don't believe my husband walked away from the marriage; it was indeed to cool down. He refused to talk to me so I put our children to bed and then cried myself to sleep.

I realise how clichéd this all sounds. I've had enough of the pain and sadness. I have to accept things as my fault and just cope with everything. I just can't do this anymore. We've been to counselling and I am seeing a psychologist regularly.

I appreciate your advice and I will try to just talk. I want this. I just don't know if it's what he wants...if I'm strong enough to keep going. I actually want to be the one who walks away and not deal with everything.

Caitie x

Hi CaitieLiz80,

I think it's important to remember all relationships have these patches, which itself sounds cliché, you wouldn't be here I don't feel if you didn't want to fix your relationship so that itself is a good sign. When you say you have both been to counselling before was that couples counselling or have both been to counselling individually?

Do you discuss your relationship issues with your psychologist?

Keep trying to talk to your partner, do what you can to work it, remember all the good times and I am sure they outweigh any of the negative times.

My best,

Jay

Thank you Jay. I really appreciate your time and reply. Things have been easier of late...or perhaps I am dealing with things a bit better. However it is...things are easier.

Take care and hope you are good.

Kind regards,

Caitie.

Hi CaitieLiz80,

Great to hear things are going better for you.

Always remember this is your thread now so if you feel you want to post back, you are more than welcome too.

My best,

Jay