Once again, the same thing has happened like it does every time I drive with my mother in the car. I’m on my green Ps. She often gives me good advice on my driving, but while I’m driving that stresses me out and distracts me, and I panic thinking I did something really wrong. And every Sunday driving her home from the shops we’d always have a fight and I’d yell at her to stop lecturing me about my driving. I don’t know another way to communicate to her, she just won’t listen until she realises how mad she’s made me. I’m hot tempered, but when I cool down I do realise when/why I deserved to be lectured. But I’m an adult in my 20s, and I do not appreciate unwarranted advice all the time, especially knowing the way I’ll react to it.
Today was particularly unfair because I didn’t make a single mistake, yet she still found something to lecture about, and it was about a different driver who was swerving and not indicating. I was aware of that and drove safely. But frankly, this week’s lecture wasn’t even to do with my driving and yet she still found a way to make a big deal out of it. I was infuriated and yelled at her to stop. I am so frustrated. And she’ll always say she won’t lecture again, only to pick at something and lecture me again next week, and make me mad again. It’s a shame because we were having a good day until then. We only have one car, I cannot save up enough yet to get another.
To summarise, I feel angry, frustrated, accused, criticised. If I speak nicely to calmly and assertively, she might listen, but that doesn’t stop her from lecturing me again tomorrow. Screaming hasn’t stopped her either. I know there are heaps of more serious parent issues on this forum but it’s these small things that drive me crazy, ultimately affecting the relationship.
Anyone with advice on how to deal with a parent lecturing? It’s probably out of love blah blah blah but it’s driving me insane I don’t even want to be in the same space as her anymore. Help!
