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There is HOPE.🐞 Even if you cant see it right now🐞
Hi CC, welcome
Thankyou so much for a brilliant account.
I think most of us can relate to losing opportunities through family expectations. Having said that we time and time again return to the family we lost to support them only to suffer the consequences.
I knew this a few years ago (am 59yo). So time was up repeating the same mistakes. I have two daughters 26 and 22. And the younger one has been heavily influenced by her mother to the point whereby the relationship with me is doomed. Yes, I left the family home due to abuse from her mother when my daughter was 4yo but I did the very best I could...never a child support payment late and in addition paid $14,000 to get her teeth and jaw realigned. I could have forced her mother to pay half of that but no....my love dictated my pocket.
Last year my youngest asked to be friends on Facebook. it lasted 6 weeks, all was good. Then out of the blue defriended me. Typical of her - no explaination. When I sent her a message- no answer. Silence, the tool of hurt used by her mother during our marriage is the tool passed down to my daughter. So what do you do?
I will likely have her want to come into my life again. MY rules and boundaries are set. I will not be cruel. If she wants to see me I'm here. My home - no where else. If she has a man in her life or has kids- dont bring them. I will not tear my heart out by loving them and getting rejected. The trust is over.
These boundaries are for protection. We all must create our own boundaries and if over time you feel safe enough to whittle those boundaries down then do so....but not to leap into the old life is to gamble like in roulette.