Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Suffering in a relationship with a narsissits man

Community Member
Im trying to break away and I'm finding it so hard. I have never reached out to people before as I have never been in such a position. Its destroying my life.
6 Replies 6

Community Member

Hi Heart13,

i hear you, I was in a relationship with a narcissist and it left me totally broken, but I fought my way back to be stronger. I know it's hard but please try and get out. The things that I let happen because "I loved him" I look back on now,shake my head and can't believe I survived. I was pushed almost to the point of driving off a bridge, if it wasn't for my little dog at home waiting for me. Believe me when I say you will get through it, and come out believing in yourself and realising how strong you are. Please keep me in the loop as to how you are going. I'm proof we can fight our way away from these horrible destroyers of ourselves.


Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Heart13 and welcome,

it is an awful relationship to be in, I know. You do need to break away. Are you living together, married, any children involved? Are you finding it difficult because of feelings for him or because he has 'control' over you. Do you have family or friends for support?

we are here for you. Please feel free to tell more if you're up to it. This is a safe place to reach out.


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Heart, you're 'caught between a rock and a hardplace' which could mean that there are reasons why you don't want to leave, such as, it's your home, your furniture and if you do leave then there maybe too many you have to leave behind, because asking him to leave is impossible for various reasons.
You're posed the question to yourself which means that you're unhappy, but I wonder whether you are afraid to leave because of what he may do to you or if any children are involved.
You have to consider your safety because if he is controling everything you want to do and how to do it, then a red flag appears.
This may not be the situation because another scenario could be that he is suffering from a mental illness, which has become far too much for you to cope with, and feel guilty by leaving him, these are only just presumptions, so I hope that we hear back from you. Geoff.

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi heart13 and welcome to the forums,

I was in an abusive relationship and I got out. Its not at all easy but its possible just like Millie has done as well.

They suck the life out of u, sap your energy these deadbeats..

U definitely don't deserve this. You deserve love and a full happy life.

They suck you in these cowards.

I hope you have support and help to get out.

Good luck xxx

Community Member

Hi Heart13!

I am still in the healing process of my narcissistic relationship coming to an abrupt end. He left and blocked me off all social media which i am quite thankful for now, its been 4 months for me and I've had good days and bad days. I wanted closure and him to own up and admit what his done wrong, realise all the stories he made up about me not being the truth but sadly it doesnt happen, they dont have empathy and the ability to reflect upon their actions and words. I suggest no contact, something i wish i stood by from the start, i reached out to him to get answers and i wanted reassurance from him that i was right about us and that he ran cause his afraid and a horrible human i wanted him to know the damage he caused me. This only backfired of either getting ignored or him emotionally abusing me further, saying we were nothing, i meant nothing theres nothing special about me you name it. He denies everything he did to me, even if i listed it nothing changed his mindset. He is a stoner and hey that isnt a good combo at all. My head tells me that the life he would provide for me isnt the life i deserve and i am so much better than him and i did nothing wrong and he is the coward at fault, however my heart is full of love for the person he was from time to time. Dont doubt yourself, i always thought maybe im the bad person, maybe it was my fault but its not at all, being able to recognise faults in ourselves is mature thing narcissist aren't capable of.

You deserve better, it will be hard i won't sugar coat it. You will experience a range of emotions it will be painful, seek professional help. The emotional and mental abuse damages you but you are a lot stronger than you think ive realised that myself. Keep in contact x

Plrase google these

Topic: controlling your life- how important is it?- beyondblue

This one is about narc parents but you can get the idea

Topic: controlling parents- the effect on their child- beyondblue

Topic: defending yourself, dont be an easy target- beyondblue

Tony WK