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Community Member
Hi and thanks for reading.
I have been in a relationship now for about 5 months, with someone 15 years older than me.
He's so into me he watches everything I do and often exhibits disturbingly smothering behaviors and anger issues.
He demanded I quit my job and that I move in with him (as if i didn't it would prove i wasn't committed to him)

It 11pm and he is asleep, mad at me for not hugging or kissing him today. I feel this awfulness in the pit of my stomach and cant get my mind off my vulnerability.
I don't think he would be violent but I am unhappy and have tried to go home before and he has become obsessive.
I need some advice. I still kept my apartment, and I want to leave him because I don't feel happy. but I am afraid he simply WONT let me.
I feel if i leave him, he will harass me and perhaps cause issues for me to get my thing's returned.
I would need some help moving my things back to my apartment, perhaps i should just put my things in storage?
I feel horrible inside, this whole thing is twisting me apart, the relationship is really weighing on my personal health.
Please some advice on how to handle this.
2 Replies 2

Community Member

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like the way he treats you is not okay.

Do you have anyone who can help you leave? If you are truly worried for your safety - stuff is just stuff. You can collect stuff again and in due time you won't even remember most of what you left behind. Only gather the essentials if you need to, for your safety. Stuff is just stuff - trust me.

You can live on without stuff - you can't replace time.

Please let us know you're okay.

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi team nobody,

This is not ok and I felt scared for you reading that and I'm sure there's a lot that hasn't been said as well. Your instincts are telling you to leave and you're feeling awful in the pit of your stomach because he is making you feel unsafe and off balance.

Im afraid you're in a domestic violence situation and need to leave. I am so happy you have kept your apartment.

I agree with SandraC87 gather your essentials and the rest can be picked up by a friend or family member another time.

For your personal health I'd go back to your apartment and cease contact with him. If you have to involve police I wouldn't hesitate.

You can call 1800RESPECT as well and they can give you solid advice.

Please take care and let us know how you go.