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Strong feelings with wanting a baby

Community Member
im 21 years old about to turn 22 unemployed on benefits with no life goals other then to have a baby, ive wanted a baby since i was 16 but have never actually gone as far as having unprotected sex and treating a guy into having one, i have been dating a guy for almost two years and my baby fever has gotten out of hand i dream about babies, think about them 24/7 and have made list with what i need and how much it will all cost , i look up on the internet about information and go on shopping sites looking at baby stuff last week i got upset after seeing someone with nappies in their trolleys wishing i could buy baby stuff myself its taken over me and it hurts so bad sometimes, im going nowhere in life i sit at home all day wishing i had a baby to look after im not interested in doing any courses ive already tried to do two and ive lost interest in doing it and didnt complete them i dont know how to switch off having these feelings 😞 i have no interest in anything else 
4 Replies 4

Community Member

Hi Carter,

Welcome to the forum!

I'm a 22 year old female, and I think I want to have children some day. It's great that you want to start a family, but like you've said, it has become overwhelming for you and dominates your thoughts and your life.

Does your boyfriend work? Does he also want to start a family, and is this something you've talked about? You are a suitable age to have children, and you have a partner, but it's important to be able to financially cope with having a baby too. You don't necessarily need to work much - even a few days a week would be helpful. If you think you need professional help with your emotions, you could see your GP, and they can refer you to a counsellor or psychologist if they think it would help (sometimes a few sessions are offered free or at a very low cost).

Not having an interest in other areas of your life can be detrimental to your happiness and wellbeing. If having a baby doesn't work out or takes quite some time, you won't have something positive and engaging to focus on in the meantime. Having a few other passions is important. This doesn't have to be ground breaking. You could start to go on hikes, volunteer at an animal shelter, you could start some projects around your home, or so on. Several years ago, I didn't have interests or something I was passionate about, which negatively affected my life. It often takes a little time to develop interests and other pursuits, but it is crucial.

If you love kids in general, you could perhaps do a short course in childcare or children's services at TAFE or another institution. Getting motivated can be tough, I realise. The positive thing about being employed in this area is that it will give you experience with caring for children, which will help when you're a mother.

I hope something I've said has been helpful! Feel free to reply 🙂

Best wishes,


Community Member

Thanks for replying  i want to go see a professional about it but i just feel like they will tell me to just basically go get a job or a hobby to take your mind off it and i just dont want to hear that in feel that i could of already thought of that myself and just wouldnt want to open up about my feelings anymore, i dont have the motivation or dont want to do them things i live in a small town there is no work here and i tried to do a age care course but dropped that when i got fired from my job at the age care home, and i tried to do child care and i just stopped doing the work and never end up studying after that even though i liked the work experience, my partner has a child from another relationship which the mother cut all ties after running off with his daughter i feel like he is scared that i might take his child away again and he feels like hes not in the right state of mind to look after a child and doesnt want the child to grow up poor and go through life "suffering" from not being able to find work when its an adult but he knows how bad i want a baby and just agrees with having one with me which i feel bad about and want to have one when we both want one but i just feel he already had a baby with another women why doesnt he want one with me? And it upsets me again i dont know how to turn off these feelings my brain is just like you will be able to do it just do it you get paid for having a baby you can rent the baby products and use the extra money you get from birth to buy other baby stuff and if i wanted to have a bigger house i will be able to get a housing comission one my brain just keeps thinking of ways to talk myself into doing it i have the rod in my arm that has to be replaced soon and im just scared about if i should just leave it out... 

Community Member

Hello Carter

I have had these feelings of desperately wanting another baby. Especially when I see other babies. For me I just want to hold them. Sometimes it even feels like my arms are empty or something. They are way cute and they just want to be loved. I am thinking it is a maternal thing within us. Some women I think feel it stronger then others.

Since you mentioned you were unemployed, could you maybe try to get a job as a nanny, or do some study and go into childcare, like SM mentioned. Or even a midwife or something. I have thought of doing some nanny work myself, but they do ask sometimes for qualifications and police checks.  The study would give you something to do, or maybe you have already studied, I'm not sure.

Well anyway you probably would make a very loving mother one day, but until then, maybe you could just learn everything you can about being that best mother possible, and maybe improving your health, if you think it needs to be improved. 

Well sending you a hug

Shelley xxx


Thank you very much for your kind words it made me feel all teary reading that i would make a loving mother one day 🙂 i was reading yesterday its a natural instinct for survival in the human race to feel this way but it gets so had some times you know?... I will look into trying to babysit some kids or something to settle myself down abit 

 have a lovely day