FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Strained relationship with sister

KindnessWithin
Community Member

I have a strained relationship with my sister (48F) for the past 10 years. She has lost many personal and professional relationships in recent years. I hang in there because I have tons of patience and for the sake of family peace. I know one sore point is that she is jealous that I’m married with children. I can’t help that she isn’t in the same position.

 

She is passive aggressive and has mood swings and behaviours that makes me want to walk away.

 

What happens now? I can’t talk to her in a healthy two way conversation. She talks over me, talks for hours, shuts me down and makes noises like a child. She never apologises. I’m sick of taking the blame for everything.

 

I can see why others have walked away. I wonder if that is the best approach since I feel I have tried everything else?

 

2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

 

No one can say yes or no to continue your relationship. What I do know is that blood does not guarantee a happy relationship and sometimes people part ways, others can see each other once or twice a year and not be bothered about issues.

 

What is toxic behaviour? That depends on the person. For me my sister and I parted ways again, xmas last year. Her toxicity was in my eyes playing people against each other (narcissistic triangulation), blowing things out of proportion and making me feel on edge when she visited. It got to the stage where her negative far outweighed her positives.  Some people dont know how to live in contentment, meaning, they need drama or have to "win" over others. At 67yo I called it a day and am so much happier.

 

Sometimes its simple things like not apologising. But those are the things that make a empathetic human being kind and reasonable. Not apologising is a serious flaw in some people, it means it is dramatic for them to admit guilt, they cant live with faults.

 

My sister has some jealousy that we own our own home. She has had opportunities and bought a shop that went downhill so who's fault is that?. 

 

People that have the world against them have little influence in my life, I know to tolerate them is to live a lie in that I'm not myself.

 

TonyWK

Hi and thanks for the reply. It gave me a lot to think about with toxic behaviour and to share your personal story was very kind. Thank you.