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Step Dad break up IVO

Community Member
Hi all,

My name is Kris, and I guess I am here for some advice
and maybe to find some hope.
I was with my ex partner (DeFacto) and my step son
for over 6 years until a week ago.

Two weeks ago my partner went to a mutual female
friends house for a visit, I was fine about it and encouraged
her to go. I had not heard from her for 7 hours and sent her
an sms asking if she was having a good night. After several
more hours she called and said that she did not answer
to me and if I persisted she would call the police.

She did not come home for days and when she did gave me an
ultimatum, if I still looked after herson when she worked I could stay
and if not I was to leave. She then went to work and came
back very sporadically over the next 5 days.

Days later I messaged her and said I was happy to
stay and look after my step son whilst she worked only until
I could move out or I could move out within 8 weeks (Covid19 world).
I heard nothing, and the next thing I know I have Police
calling me telling me to pick up an interim intervention order
they received from the courts.....wth!

Freaking out, I never had this before, I did not understand
on which grounds? I picked up the order and was told not to go
hone and was homeless. A friend booked a hotel for me which
is where I am typing this from now. I read the allegations
and was horrified by the content, a threat of physical harm,
allegation of letting her dog loose and starving her son :(.

Heart broken I crumbled, the conditions are standard but I am not
to answer any calls from her and my step son who has been at
his dad's the during the whole event, I never got to say goodbye
to him :(

My step son comes home and rings me constantly leaving messages
to call him back and he wants to see me and I can't answer
or reply. In one voicemail he states that he asked his mum
if it was ok to call me and she said yes, is she trying to bait me?

3 Replies 3

Community Member

Sorry you are stuck in a hotel I would get legal advise and definitely don't break the IVO it that will look bad in court

Keep the messages and phone calls you can present them in court there will be a bigger picture playing out you just don't know what that looks like yet

Surrounding your self with a support network will help you through this process

Community Member


Whatever you do, do not breach any of the IVO conditions under any circumstances. This may mean that you cannot say goodbye to your stepson until the order has been lifted. It sux; I know. The order itself is not a criminal charge, but a breach of the order is; do not go there.

As you probable know, you can defend against the order at a hearing. To my knowledge you don't have to prove your innocence, it is up to your partner to prove that an order was required in the first place. Getting an order is relatively easy; proving that one was required is much harder; especially if you have no criminal history or police record.

I would urge you to get some legal advice about your options; but until then, abide by the orders. You have no way of knowing what your partner has in mind; she may be genuine or she may be baiting you. Don't take the risk.

I hope it all works out for the best. Good luck.

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
YES, she is trying to bait you. Call the police and inform them that she is encouraging you to break the order through your step-son. Keep a record of all text-messages and voicemails, dates and times.

If the order includes that you are not to contact her son, do not respond to his messages in any way.

Call the police. Today. With all of the records.

I'm truly sorry that you're going through this. The best thing that you can do right now for everyone is to avoid making the situation worse. Breaching the order will make it worse.