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Stay or go?
Dear Losing It
Hello and welcome, lots of stories and suggestions on BB. Browse around and see what others have to say about similar situations.
This feeling of being trapped by your own family is very common. I hope that helps in saying so many parents feel like that. Some of my best days have been when husband is at work and children in school and I can do what I want. Not sure if you are mom or dad and it really makes no difference. I went back into the workforce when my youngest child was four and found that a relief from being a housewife.
No one should, just suck it up and soldier on for my kids? No I don't mean you should leave, I mean you need to find a way to have your needs met just as you meet the needs of your children and spouse. Small children are very demanding of your time and energy. They rely completely on you to take care of them. Without that they would not survive. When they start growing up they still rely on you to provide for them, but at this stage you can help them learn independence.
Starts with feeding themselves, dressing, using the toilet, all the things that make life a little easier for you and fosters self esteem and independence in them.
I know you are still providing for them and feel trapped to some extent. I think I am saying this is a necessary part of life unless you can afford a nanny. At the same time you are growing in patience and understanding. So you have a benefit. After all you are still there. Not trying to pin a guilt trip on you. While all this is going on I know many parents feel the focus of their whole existence is the children. This is where you need to meet your own needs.
There are the obvious activities like leaving the children in the care of someone you trust and going out for a meal or to the cinema etc. But I believe it is much more than that. What is my purpose in life is a good question to ask. Am I supposed to look after my family until they leave home and I join the empty nesters brigade.
What is it you feel you cannot do with your family? What would you be doing if you had not met and married your spouse and started your family? You said I had always been a free spirit and we weren't together very long before we had kids so I feel like we missed out on valuable time together. How can you make time to be together without worrying about the children? Can you go away for a weekend for example. Imagine what you would have liked to do before children and organise your routine accordingly.