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Space

BB1986
Community Member

My partner wants obe thing at the moment and its for me to give her space .

I have not been dealing woth my anxiety and have been in a constant circle of getting good and going backwards for 2 and half years she cant do it anymore i have really made a difference with myself and closwd alot of chapters which previously left open lead to me going backwards and i get she wants space but im unsure on how im supposed to ignore her even when im away at work ????

3 Replies 3

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear BB1986~

You said yo uhave been having to deal with anxiety, a horrible thing, I have it too. At times it can seem to improve a lot, then it slips back, which is very hard to deal with and very discouraging. All this going on for 2 1/2 years would have been very wearing not only on you, but your partner too.

My partner had to deal with me, as well as the family and go to work too. As I was not the same from day to day quite often she would find that what had been good the day before made me resentful or angry the next. One thing she had was her mum who was there to give her support all through.

You said that you have made a difference to yourself and closed some chapters and are now in a better position. That sounds pretty encouraging. Do you mind if I ask if you are receiving medical help? The reason I ask is because my ups and downs did not last without it.

After over two years I'm sure your wife, like mine, would be very worn out. Does she have a mum or other family member to talk with and support her? It does make a huge difference.

I'm not sure about ignoring her. I found that being helpful and understanding made her feel better, do you think that would work for you?

Croix

BB1986
Community Member

She does have support of her mother and she's a very strong minded person. I am trying to be understanding but as far as she's concerned it's something she wishes to deal with on her own.

My anxiety has actually been present for over 20 years it has only been the last 2 1/2 that i have excepted and began trying to do something about it. I am seeing a physiologist and that definitely helps i also have support of her family in getting back on my feet. Just feels like it could be too late

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello BB1986, thanks for posting your comment.

It's not easy dealing with anxiety and hiding how you feel for your partner's sake because these chapters you have closed can be done as long as you know there is nothing you can do with them and then be satisfied.

Whereas if you close them only for reasons that you want to give your partner some space, then this won't satisfy you because you will always want to revisit them and the situation won't be resolved.

Hope you can understand what I'm trying to say.

Don't look at this as being too late, I'm sure you are able to turn the situation around with the help of your psychologist.

Geoff.