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someone is always on my mind

Community Member
I thought i'd get this off my chest as it has been on my mind for the last couple of years or so. there's this girl i used to work with a few years ago that i still fancy and i'm thinking about her most of the time. it's like i'm not interested in anyone else no matter how attractive they are, i've been on a few dates over the last couple of years and deep down i'm not into them, i felt a sense of relief that these dates didn't go any further than beyond seeing each other and having sex so i could focus on people i really want to be with (well at least friends). i dunno call it madness, i do have schizophrenic symptoms and bad anxiety, but i'm going to melbourne in a few months partly for the reason of seeing this girl, i was planning on playing hard to get just to see how interested she really is in me, with going to a jiujitsu comp and travelling with mates as an excuse. i know that she still works for the same company as before. it's hard to contact her since she doesn't want to know me at the moment. i have just threw the fishing line in the water ocassionally hoping i'd get a bite, i'm not being a creep about it and trying to constantly contact her, people need their privacy and space, i get that. i probably could go on about this but i'll leave to you guys to give me advice.
11 Replies 11

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Luke, welcome

I'm concerned about this line " she doesn't want to know me at the moment"

Why?. If she doesnt want to know you how can you see her without violating her space?.

The other thing is, "playing hard to get". I think girls prefer guys dont play games, tell her straight you are interested in seeing her to see how things go. Take flowers.

That my view. Others might think differently.

Good luck.

Tony WK

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear luke~

I'm afraid I don't think your hopes are realistic. As you know a relationship is between people who both want to have it.

You have said that you knew her a couple of years or more ago and have since threw the fishing line in the water ocassionally hoping i'd get a bite, which I take to mean you have attempted to contact her since without result.

You have also said she doesn't want to know me at the moment.

In the face of all that - if it was me - I'd have to say she had displayed consistently that she was not interested in me and further attempts at contact would not be productive, or welcome.

I'm sorry I cant give you a better picture of things.


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Luke

We have spoken before on another thread of yours. Thanks for posting again and being part of the forums.

TonyWK has brought up a good point pertaining to "she doesnt want to know me at the moment" Flowers and the direct approach will show her where your heart really is!

Lukecalv said : " i do have schizophrenic symptoms and bad anxiety"

Luke, I am really sad if you have anything remotely resembling Schizophrenia as well as bad anxiety symptoms

If you had any of these symptoms, traveling to Melbourne and going to a jiujitsu comp while traveling with mates as an excuse to catch up with her wouldnt happen with these symptoms.

You are more than welcome to post back Luke and clarify your symptoms.

Be careful my friend


she blocked me off facebook a while back unfortunately and she has a boyfriend, so giving her flowers may not be the best thing to do right now, but yeah i think about her everyday, especially at night. having thoughts and feelings of her living my dream with me, going on road trips. she's an attractive girl so might take a bit more to win her over. i'm in sydney now so im a bit far away from melbourne.

you got a good memory mate! 🙂 been a while since i posted on beyond blue. i've only posted things which are really bothering me, i don't like to get outside help unless i really need it.

yeah these symptoms started when i was about 21, i'd hallucianate and see big rottwielers run when they weren't even there.

i don't get so depressed anymore, just really anxious when i'm unfamiliar with people or in new surroundings. if i don't take my medication i tend to also hallucinate and hear voices, scary i know, but i'm pretty easygoing about it all and try to make the most in life. i do fear of getting alzimeher's when i get old since my memory isn't the best now at the age of 32 (turning 33 in 3 months).

bugger it, i'll do what tony says, fly to melbourne in the next few months, buy a bunch of flowers and give them to her. if i don't see her, then i'll just give it to the receptionist and get them to pass it on, i'll even put a card on the flowers and say who's it from and put my number on there. can't let an opportunity like this slip by.

To quote Tony "if she doesn't want to see you how can you see her without violating her space?"

To quote you "she blocked me on Facebook"

As heartbreaking and traumatic as it is sometimes the people we want to be with do not want to be with us.

If she has already made up her mind then going to Melbourne with flowers will not change it. It will make you seem like a stalker.

When we like someone we need to listen to what they say and respect their choices.


i'll get reception to pass the flowers onto her, i won't put any contact details on there. i don't know what she thinks. the police aren't going to call me or she isn't going to file a restraining order against me for just giving her a bunch of flowers! if she doesn't respond to it, then i'll move on, simples.