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Some sort of painful adjective I couldn't find in the dictionary.
I am writing here cause I am clueless. Long story short, I have been with a narc for about 10 months and now i am just drained. Anxiety is at peak as I stopped talking to her and my wants call her every second. I can stay alone and even with distractions I can only offer a fake smile. I am just not this person. I have been into tons of relationships before but never like this. Now about her, let's just say she has got all the qualities a human being shouldn't posses but mind doesn't feel the same way. As you could guess, I took the love bombing too literally.
Anyways, now i can't do my usual things. I don't love doing the things I used and i wake up with a very heavy brain but the biggest problem is my mind or body or something else still wants to be with her.
No wonder you're feeling so drained, it sounds like this relationship really put you through a lot. Sometimes loving someone destructive is even more exhausting than being the destructive person, because you're getting all of the problems, without any control over the outcome. It must have been really hard to seperate yourself from her, how long have you been not speaking to her?
I suppose it's normal for the body to shut down after such a long period of stress/excitement, it's like running a mental marathon then needing a 14 hour sleep, and if you brain is conditioned to it, anxiety would be at peak like you mentioned. But what can be bad if the low mood/anxiety keeps going, this can really spiral you down. You said you don't like to do things you used to any more, what were the things you used to enjoy? What were things like before this person?
Let me know how you're travelling and if you need to call someone 24/7 you can call beyondblue on 1300 22 4636.