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So lonely it's stopping me making friends

Community Member


I've came to the realisation that I am that lonely that I have lost the confidence to make new connections. I have recently moved to a small(ish) country town where I don't know anyone.

I am the manager in one of the main facilities in town which has issues I need to fix therefore meaning I feel I can't make friends with colleagues (i'm having to performance manage them).

I'm not australian so I didn't grow up with the football/netball culture which is so prevailant in a country vic town so don't have that to fit in.

I just don't feel connected to anything and don't know how to make friends.

I'm a confident prrson on the outside but my fear of people not liking me is stopping me from trying to make friends in the first place.

I just feel so lost

9 Replies 9

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi ☺ welcome to bb

I think most people feel the same about wanting to be liked and its hard coming in when groups are formed and being the newby.

Wondering if you feel joining a club or group in town could be a good move for you to get to know some people.

Also maybe check out classifieds but be careful too but often there's lonely people wanting company and various activities going on.

Do you walk? It gets you out and around people too which could help slowly become a familiar face around

I'm sorry you feel so isolated its not a good feeling.

Feel free to chat here whenever you like ☺

It's a tough place, it seems to be footy netball and/or just getting wasted drunk.

I just have nothing in common with people here so when I do talk to people I feel like i'm faking an interest.

Community Member

It's s stressful job and i think the fact i've no distractions from it make it worse. It's all i think about and i don't really get any light relief from it.

I just have no life other than work or spending time myself, which i don't mind to an extent but not ALL the time

Community Member
Hi, sorry to hear you are feeling lonely. Just wanted to say that I understand. Also not from here although I've lived here quite a few years. Are there any others from your country where you live?

Maybe you could start a group there Jacq.

Hopefully in time you'll form some friendships from work, maybe ask a couple out for drinks or coffee? That way you're separating work to social

You need pressure release, do you go to the gym or maybe a sport group?

Best ☺

Thank you for replying and your suggestions.

I am trying to meet people ive joined a few exercise groups and stuff.

Work is a tricky one as i'm the manager and bringing in lots of changes which is resulting in staff facing disciplinary action...so you see they don't really see me as someone to socialise with.

It's just so hard

Thanks Jac good I hope the exercise groups works out for you and its also stress release

Your job I remember you saying was difficult to make friends because of your role and yeah I guess that avenue at least for now things could change later though isn't viable atm

You might be able to find friends too online I heard here there are various friend groups around that meet up face on and goes without saying be careful though.

A good suggest from Pastapat (hi ☺and welcome) that their maybe some people around from your country where you live.

If theres a community centre there or neighbouring one there's another avenue too

All best darl

Thank you for uour help

You're very welcome Jac sorry didn't see this before

Hope you're doing ok

Take care darl