Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

So confused

Community Member

Hello! I'm hoping to get some advice..

my first marriage ended in divorce. We had a child who was 1. He cheated for 12 months with a girl and left for her. They are still together 6 yrs later.

I remarried quickly. I great guy who I love deeply. 3 months ago I asked him who he chats to on his phone (text messaging). I knew it was a girl from his work but I asked anyway. He literally stood up and told me he's moving out.

i couldn't afford the rent so I've packed up my two kids (one to each husband) and moved in with my nan two hours drive away. I've had to leave my job.

Shortly after the break up we went on a family holiday which had been booked for 6 months before we split. He spent most of his time texting her.

Now he's making an effort. He visits and does say he want to try to get back together.

Duting the week he doesn't talk to me. He doesn't ask how I'm setting in here. Seems like he has nothing to talk to me about.

I am so paranoid about his "close" friendship with this girl it's driving me crazy.

I don't know anyone here, I have no job and all I really have left is my kids. I'm lucky that I have them but I think I've let them down being from a broken family. My son has seen me dumped twice now.

I don't know where to go from here. I want to be with my husband again but his relationship is eating me up.

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hi Flames. Unfortunately you appeared to have married an habitual cheater. It sounds as though this girl only wanted him when he wasn't available. He wants his cake and eat it too. If you do reconcile, how long before he starts looking again? There's a few men who want marriage because they want to commit. Then there's the few who marry because society tells them too. Even once they're married, they keep cheating because they need the thrill they believe they're not getting at home. All the marriage means is they're not free, this, to them means, other women without the commitment. I would be very careful about considering reconciliation. He will promise faithfulness and possibly mean it. Unfortunately, he is unable to keep the promise. I can't tell you what to do, all I can say is, think carefully about what you want.


Community Member

Thank you for your quick reply, Lynda.

I fear that I am desperate now just to be in a 'family', one with a mum and dad. I have tried to talk to him but he refuses to answer anything.

Im trying to do things to keep myself busy but it's difficult without working.