so confued and unsure...

[Kayza]

I'm only young... (high school young) and I've noticed I always put myself in difficult situations with my love life. I find myself falling for two guys at once and getting close with them both. last year I was falling for a year 12 and I was only year 8 and I also had a "crush" on a year 10... I ended up "hooking up" with the both of them and I only mean kissing when I say "hooking up" although the year 12 and I did do one sexual thing... which i finally opened up and I've spoken to my mum about. But it was all over pretty quickly and I never dated either one of them. So now I'm going into year 9 and I like a guy in my year, we started as good friends but then we went out to a party and I realised I had feelings for him but one of my best friends had recently been with him, we ended up kissing and after that it all kind of fell into place... this was last year and we are still a "thing" but not dating. only problem is I have like this family friend kind of guy and the fist time I met him I like feel in love and we go away on weekend trips together because his older sister and I are like family. but this guy... lets say his name is "James" he is going into year 12...and we barely see each other and I've told his sister I really like him but there is a huge distance between us and we both think it wouldn't work and he has recently admitted feelings for me and he was my first New Years kiss but I'm still in a "thing" with this other guy... I'm so lost and caught up in my feelings...?

[geoff]

hello Kayza, from what I can see is that you're such a romantic person, how lovely that is, and to be confused in who you want to love at your age, there is nothing wrong with how you feel.
I went to an all boys school but when I went to uni I fell in love with so many girls but wasn't brave enough to even get close to them, even though I had a real crush on each one of them.
I can't see anything wrong and I don't think you anything to worry about, because what is happening is that you're only learning what love means.
Eventually each one of these chaps will come and go, have a short kiss and cuddle, but then decide someone else would suit you better, that's what happens when you're in love, enjoy all the attention. Geoff. x

[Croix]

Dear Kayza~
Thanks for posting, it’s a good thing to find others out here to talk to, ones who’ve been where you are.

You sound to me to be doing just fine, you are supposed to have lots of feelings to be caught up in – that’s how it works, particularly at High School and even Uni.

As Geoff just said:

I can't see anything wrong and I don't think you anything to worry about, because what is happening is that you're only learning what love means.

He’s spot-on.

Guess who said they were only young – you did! So you are at the ‘learning from experience’ stage (mind you that never ever stops –I know – sigh). So you are getting that experience – and are doing it pretty sensibly by the sound of it, not going too far all at once.

Keep being sensible, things will work out just fine – you’ll see.

That brings me to the reason I decided to post you – because you may not fully realize it but you are the possessor of a treasure beyond words – your Mum! I’m dead jealous, to have a Mum you could actually talk to about things including sex – wow - and maybe get advice if you wanted.

It’s something really special and not everyone has that sort of relationship – just ask your friends how much they would reveal to their Mums.

I've no hints on picking a friend - that's up to you.

You take care of yourself and your Mum

Croix

[Kayza]

Thank you Geoff, your advice was very much appreciated. I think my biggest problem is feeling unloyal and that I need to stick with one guy as my mums first love was my dad. they got together when my mum was 13 and then they had me when my mum was 18... once my mum and dad split they both found new partners and have been with their partners for just over 10 years. My mum is very big on finding the right one as well which makes it difficult when I'm liking all these different guys. But once again thanks you very much. Kayza 🙂

[Kayza]

hello there Croix, thank you for the advice you've given me. its made me see the "bigger picture" and made me realise I need to appreciate my mums company more... and behave more as I always get caught and then mum and I end up having a big fight. But I'm very grateful for your words you have left for me. Kayza 🙂